CHAPTER FOURTY FOUR

LIAM POV.

"Is this enough?" She asked, taking my hands and clasping it tight. Without waiting time, I take the wheels, spinning it past the truck in the nick of time.

"Stop the car," She mumbled. "It's too dark to do so," I tried reasoning. "Just stop the car," She yelled and I was forced to oblige.

Immediately, she rushes out, sitting by the roadside and pulling her guts out. "Are you alright?" I asked, offering her water.

"How would I be, did you forget I was carrying your child? The whole pregnancy just made things worse," she snapped.

"I wouldn't have done it in the first place if you didn't make a fuss about holding my hands," I defended.

"Did you ever ask me why?" She asked. "Do you know what your touch does to me, you know I'm still struggling to move past the pain, trying to forget but it's hard,"

"Seeing you alone, I shiver, I'm still scared of you, I'm scared I will be out in another cruel position, one that would make me helpless,"

"When I see your eyes, I am transported to that night and I try to hold myself and it's worse when you hold me,"

"You increase the chance of those things happening again, it's so worse that I can't even find the right words to explain,"

"And I try to be strong, because I don't want to break, because I'm afraid you will use my fear against me,"

"I'm tired Liam, I really am, I don't like feeling like this," She bursted out, tears flowing down.

"Chelsea, I am,"... "What, you are sorry, you will still do it again," She cuts in. "I'm working on it Chelsea, I'm trying not to be selfish but it's hard, because I do want you only for myself and I will learn, I will never hurt you again Chelsea, I promise," I assured, wanting to come closer but she step back.

"You promise that the last time and I feel for it, twice I fell in love with you, twice I was hurt and broken,"

"I will say this for the last time Liam, I don't love you, what I have for you is fear, hatred and regret, the part that loves you and cherishes you deeply died that night," She said.

"Now, can we go back, I'm calm," She continued, going ahead to enter the car, even before I could answer.

"Your seatbelt," I pointed out. "Is it really needed," She mumbled but still went on to do it.

It wasn't needed but I just wanted to hear her voice, I knew she would mumble something.

She was awake during the whole drive but didn't utter a single word, only looking through her window side.

"Wait," I called out, stopping her from coming down, before going ahead to pin the door. "There is something you need to know," I began, hearing her sigh.

"Look Chelsea, I'm far from being perfect and back then I didn't want to try, I thought it didn't matter, I thought if I'm just like my father, rich, powerful and feared then no one would have the audacity to utter my flaws,"

"And I walked towards that part, not wanting to deviate and only fearing my father then,"

"When I gain such power, I stop caring about people feeling, because it doesn't really matter, you could always change those emotions with money or offering them with something they can't resist,"

"And that's how I came knowing you, someone who didn't care about money, someone just wanted to be love, I should have known then that the protection I was offering you wasn't the main reason why you agreed, I should have it was the love you yearn for,"

"I'm sorry Chelsea, for always killing your hope, I don't deserve you, I swear I really don't but I'm too selfish to let you, I love you so much that I don't want to let you go,"

"My fear shifted from my dad to you, I don't even care about that man anymore, it's hard sleeping knowing that one day, you will disappear forever,"

"I know something I flip but I'm working on it, after that incident, I had to book therapy session, because I need to make sure nothing happened to you again,"

"Can you imagine, a Mafia Lord like me taking therapy," I joke, pausing a bit to laugh.

"If this is not me being honest then I don't know what is," I finished, looking at her for a response.

"So, what do you want from me?" She calmly asked. "For the last time, I want to try, we are not going to watch it, we could start with date in public places, I just don't want our child growing up with such atmosphere,"

"And I don't want to lose you without trying, I promise, I swear it in my life that I won't hurt you," I replied.

"So, what you are saying is, I should love you again for the sake of our child," She mumbled.

"No, what am I saying is I want to try again and I need you in on this and if it works out, our child will benefit from it," I corrected.

"The last time I hurt you Chelsea, was because I was drunk, I wasn't in my right state of mind, so please have the last chance to prove myself," I begged.

"My father once told me that a drunk man never lie, that night you told you, you will never love a being like me, that you wanted me for my body,"

"If I wanted you for your body, I would lock you in the house, I won't have given you your freedom, but I'm not doing that, doesn't that mean something to you,"

"I only say those words so I don't become vulnerable to you, I thought then that was the truth and I didn't want to be the only one getting played," I explained.

"And if such coincidence would repeat itself again, what would happen?" She asked, this time looking at me.

"Then not only would I let you go, I will kill myself," I replied.