The Flower of Life

It felt like an eternity. Natasha hesitated to open her eyes. She partly anticipated waking up alone in her room with the same sense of loss, but Natasha’s arms and his essence overwhelmed her senses. Warmth raced to her skin, his lips resting on her neck, and her heart leaped with joy. She leaned her back against him, feeling his skin on hers. She opened her eyes and turned to face him.

“It’s so bizarre,” she murmured, circling her finger on his chest. Azrael’s arms wrap around her, massaging her arm.

“What is strange?”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Weren’t you suppose to?” Azrael looks at her, puzzled.

“I died, I am… I feel better and as if I haven’t lost anything. It feels just as I did when I was alive; I feel…human.”

“You’re alive,” he chuckled.

Natasha was the next to be perplexed.

“If you were a mortal soul, you would have traveled to the Realm of Light and lived there for a while, attending absolution,”

“Absolution?”

“Freedom from the circle of life, you would disintegrate into nothingness,” Azrael said, his eyes sad. It finally landed on Natasha.

“This is what you feared; you knew I’d go to the land of light.”

“But wait, does that mean I’m not a mortal soul?” she wondered. Azrael smiles.

“If not, who am I?”

“That,” Azrael said, pointing to his right, and Natasha raised to her elbow, the perfume of rose hitting her first, the breeze picking up in the room, and the window opening itself. The previously dimly lighted room was suddenly bathed in sunlight. She closed her eyes and saw the sun as she came in, but her thoughts didn’t catch up to the weirdness, but Natasha remembered every time she left here. The sun does not rise in the underworld.

“How is this possible?” She appeared shocked at the rose vines creeping up the stone frame of the long window.

“Because you’re here,” Azrael stood up and drew her back to him.

“Azrael, tell me!” She resists, a little concerned. The memories of her death began to arise. She had caught Sahir in the roots, and the shadows had snapped something inside her.

Azrael sighed. He didn’t know where to begin.

“Two thousand years ago…” He told her about the struggle between the Ghost Realm and the Realm of Light—the ancient forbidden ritual employed by the Ghost Emperor to suck three elements of life from the creation.

“Light, Love, and Life…” He hesitated.

“Then?”

“My Master, the God of War, is following the Ghost Emperor to the depths of the cosmos; we have no idea where he is or when he will be able to return.” The balance of the entire creation was in the palace, Sahir and Ishah’s power went all to halt the forces of the ghost realm, and I returned to the underworld to stop the impact of the Ghost Emperor’s spell that was taking over everything. To counteract the effect, I cast a spell, an ancient spell with hazards.” Azrael stood up and walked up to the chambers, taking up a black robe from the sofa.

“What is the risk?” Natasha inquired, drawing the silky teal blankets up to her chest.

Azrael glances out the window, seeing his realm come to life in front of him. It is not enough to know the sun has risen; one must also feel the warmth of its rays.

“I lost my ability to feel; some spell requires sacrifice.” I believed my power would be enough, but it wasn’t; the magic took my heartbeats first, then my blood, and finally, my compassion and life began to reappear.”

Natasha breathes out as her heart recoils in her chest. That’s why he felt cold, and his eyes were red. He did it to save everyone, and she felt her heart fill with pride. She slid out of bed and hugged him from behind.

Azrael covers her hand with his.

“I didn’t feel anything till I saw you,” “Because of you, I am what I once was,” he sighed. He paused and drew Natasha to his front, holding her close. Natasha smiled as he kissed her shoulder. “I am better because of you.”

“I still don’t understand my participation,” Natasha admitted.

“Didn’t I leave you hanging?” He kissed her temple and turned her to face him. She nodded, “Did your Master ever return?”

“He did; the three elements had taken three forms: light as stone, love as fruit, and life as a flower.”

Natasha felt her legs weaken and took a deep breath, remembering her previous life; no specifics were precise, but she still understood what she was, how it ended, and the significance each life contained. Everything now makes sense, and everything fits, but this is beyond her. She stares at Azrael, quietly asking whether it is what she is thinking.

“I am…”

Natasha took another deep breath and turned to face the vista out the window, the growing new fresh green grass, trees, flowers, and vines. The reality sets in.

“Every life you’ve lived has been a challenge to bring you into your real form,” He tucked one strand of her hair behind her ear. She locked her gaze on him.

“You are the goddess of life,”

Sometimes life truly knows how to throw you off guard, and you wonder. There must be an error; this cannot be true. The truth was staring at Natasha everywhere she turned, and there was a lightness in the underworld’s atmosphere. The sun shone brightly in the sky today, and rain fell last night, filling the air with a light earthy scent and turning the earth greener and the castle stone a brownish-rusted sandstone. In the absence of sunlight, they appeared gray.

Natasha stepped outside the castle into this atmosphere and noticed the guardians stop and stare at the sun as if they couldn’t believe it was still there. Moreover, she could feel it as if it were inside her. Despite wearing leather sandals, Natasha feels the grass and damp earth beneath her feet. She pushed her cream dress up to her ankles to look around.

She walks straight out of the pathway outside the castle, seeing people coming in and out. Two massive gates and guardians stood there, allowing souls in and out. There was no wall attached to the gates, and the rest of it was open and cleared. There was a lake on her far right side, followed by a forest line.

The castle was damaged in a few places, and her heart squeezed. There was a whole wall that had burned marks.

Natasha turns to face Dmitri, the old guardian, and says, “My Lady.” She met him this morning. He is Azrael’s right-hand man and trusted advisor.

“His Lordship has requested you; God of War Virat has arrived,”

“What?” She asked, surprised. So far, she had heard about the God of War, that he is Azrael’s preceptor, and how he speaks about his Master. He looks up at him.

“Are you certain this is okay?” Natasha inquired.

“My lady, this is more than enough,” Dmitri assures as he leads her back to the castle. “From what I’ve seen of the God of War, he’s a calm and righteous man; there’s nothing to be concerned about,” Natasha says, her face unsure.

She didn’t know what to say or how to greet him. They walk to the castle’s entrance, then through the main hall and corridors. She looks down at her dress, which is a simple, plain cream color dress with long sleeves, which sounds like a big title God of War. She felt as if she were meeting royalty. Azrael, she realizes, is also royalty. She took a deep breath, trying not to look as nervous as she felt. She tucked her hair behind her ears.

“He is a famous guy, but he is down to earth; a simple bow and welcome would suffice; he is not looking for flattery,” Dmitri smiled, one of his wise and gentle smiles.

“Thank you, Dmitri; I appreciate it,” Natasha replied, returning his smile.

“You are most welcome, my lady,” He opened the wooden double door, which led to the library and study with fireplace. There were no chairs or seats, just a long oval-shaped, shiny wooden table. It was exactly like his chambers, with no furniture or decoration. Azrael was standing behind a table, and in front of him at the back was a man in a long dark brown coat with something gold thread shimmering on edge. The hair was black and tied into a bun at the crown of the head.

“I will do that as soon as possible, but I wish Brother Ishah and Sahir were present,” Azrael said.

She knocked.

Azrael looks over the man’s shoulder, and his eyes light up.

“Natasha, come in here,”

The man turned, and the first thing she noticed was his height. He was taller than 6. 5 feet and had hawk-like light brown eyes.

“He is my Master, the god of war, Virat,”

“An honor, sir,” Natasha bowed slightly, just as Dmitri had when they first met. She wasn’t expecting this; the man in front of her didn’t appear to be old or an experienced teacher armed with weapons. The God of War was a fit, muscular man in his prime, emitting an aura that could shift from calm to lethal in a matter of seconds if the situation demanded it. He was also quite attractive.

“And Master, She is Natasha my intended,”

“It’s a pleasure,” the god of war smiled and nodded. He has a deep throaty voice that sounds familiar as if she has heard it before. She tries to recall.

A knock on the door caused everyone to turn their heads, and Dmitri was standing there.

“Please accept my apologies.” My lords and ladies, there has been a situation; um, you must come and see this, my lord,” He looked at Azrael.

“There have been a lot of changes recently here; it’s only natural,” God of War nodded.

Azrael looked hesitantly at Dmitri, then at Natasha.

“You are not required to have a dialogue,”

“It’s fine,” Natasha said with a smile.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Azrael says as she walks out of the library.

“It would be nice if you could have someone set up some proper seating arrangements and some tea and refreshment,” Azrael understands the subtle taunt in his Master’s eyes as he looks around his study.

“I will make sure Dmitri sees to that,” Azrael cleared his throat; Natasha tried not to enjoy it, but it was funny seeing Azrael uncomfortable, so far she had seen him sure in how he walked, and now his teacher has embarrassed him in front of her. It was in contrast to everything she had witnessed up to this point.

“That would be lovely,” God of War laughed.

Azrael bowed and left with Dmitri. Natasha watched him go with a sense of loss, but warmth filled her when she breathed. Azrael’s demeanor had changed drastically since last night. Wasn’t it only yesterday that her life was turned upside down? Yet there is so much she doesn’t know about him, and so much she doesn’t know about herself.

“Well, since they’ll be a while, how about you join me for a stroll outside?” God of War offered.

Natasha shakes herself free of her thoughts. She smiled, nodded, and followed him, still thinking this had to be the strangest encounter of her life or afterlife. For a month following her death, Natasha reassessed everything she thought was real in her life, and she is now at the start of this life. She kept discovering things she never thought were possible.

Natasha’s mind was racing with questions, but she didn’t know how to ask them or where to begin, so she settled for polite silence.

“Azrael told me you lived in the western world on Earth?”

Is this a celestial version of small talk?

“Yes,” she nodded.

“There are so many mortal realms, but once you enter a modern one, it is always difficult for a soul to enter the celestial realm; it is admirable that you manage it,”

“Morality and spirituality have vanished from the world; the trial tests a soul’s ability to do the right thing at the wrong time; it becomes more difficult as the mind begins to believe it can achieve anything.” He explained.

It appears to be judgmental. “Do you mean mortals are egotistical?”

“No,” God of War says with one of his mysterious and proud smiles. “I’m saying that a soul becomes tainted when the mind becomes egotistical, and it makes no difference whether the mind is mortal or immortal in that regard.”

“Was that a compliment?” Natasha inquired, feeling smug.

“Yes,” he nodded.

They’re back outside the castle, walking past the lake. Natasha looked at the disarray of the giant bolder and staid broken by too many sights. Underworld was no longer a desolate land, but the memory of it lingered.

“You appear confused,” the statement said.

Natasha looks at him, unsure whether she should tell him how she feels.

“I can’t force you to share your thoughts, but I am Azrael’s preceptor; I have raised him from adolescence to youth; I am his elder.”

They come to a halt by the lake, and God of War invites her to take a seat on the stone opposite him. “He is like a son to me, so I am also your elder, and also because it was me who brought you back from your captivity of the ghost emperor, this way it is just not my responsibility but an honor to guide you in your life, so if there is anything that you need or any question or doubt you need an answer to, I will do my best to help you, just not now but whenever you need me,”

Natasha’s feet felt like they were back on solid ground. She found an anchor in Azrael’s love, but everything feels settled now. Her hesitation appears to be lifting. She felt like herself.

“I still don’t understand my role in all of this,” she began, “I don’t know anything beyond my connection with Azrael.”

“It’s okay to be confused; you have an identity crisis, but the person you’re picturing is Natasha.” Natasha looked down, and a lump formed in her throat.

“Many immortal beings go through trials in the mortal realm, live a lifetime, and when they return, it is difficult to accept the end.” His gaze set far away.

Mortal life is valuable because it is fragile and fleeting. It is what gives it meaning, but don’t look at this life through the lens of your previous one; you will find it overwhelming.” He stands up, clasps his hand behind his back, looking across the lake.

“When you look at the creation from here, you see infinite space, uncountable galaxies, stars, and planets, and many different lives and species on those planets.” He turns to look at her.

“The truth is that you are in the same creation, but your lens has widened,” he says as he smiles at her.

“You lived many lives, breaking the cycle of life and death. You have arrived here; your mortal life has ended; it is like nature,” he extended his hand to her, and she took it, standing up.

“Live the one you have now and live it well, get curious, search again, study, and learn, and you have a far better anchor to hold you than anyone could,”

Natasha frown, the question clear in his eyes.

“Love,” He smiled, “it will keep you here,” he said reassuringly.

“Death is inevitable, and even we immortals will die one day, but love is eternal,” He clasps his hand behind his back.

It’s not as tense as it used to be, but she has to let go of what she knows. She needs to broaden her horizons.

Natasha nodded.

“There’s nothing to be concerned about; now, we must depart. We don’t want our tea to get cold, do we?”

Natasha grins.