Chapter 65 Between Both Hands

Chapter 65 Between Both Hands
"So, this is where you'll be staying," I say, pushing open the door to one of the guest rooms at the end of the hallway.
It's a nice room, but noticeably farther down the hall from the rooms Zayn and I are using. I picked it on purpose.
Ryan steps inside, looking around. "Nice. Way better than any motel I would've gotten. Thanks, Ash."
I nod.

"You know I could just sleep in your room, right?" he adds casually, tossing his bag onto the bed.
I give him a pointed look.
He laughs. "Just a suggestion, Ashleigh. Don't eat me alive."
I can't help it as a smile spreads across my face. "Get settled in. Shower if you want. Then come downstairs. We're having a small thing to celebrate Samuel's win."
"Sure. Thanks, Ash."
"Anytime," I reply, giving him one last small smile before stepping back into the hallway.

I close the door gently behind me and lean against it for a second, letting out a slow breath.
The house now feels suddenly different with Ryan here.
How will I manage the situation between Zayn and me and him?
As I walk down the hallways, I pass by Zayn's room. We'll have to be extra careful now if we want to see each other. Just like the old times at our parents' home.
Downstairs in the living room, the boys are already setting up for the small celebration. But the girls have taken over the kitchen, arranging snacks on trays.

I join them, forcing a smile as I grab a stack of disposable plates. I try to participate, laughing at Anna's jokes and nodding along, but my mind keeps wandering.
Ryan is going to expect an answer soon, and I still have no idea what I'm going to tell him.
"So, who's that guy who came to see you?" Anna asks, picking up one of the cupcakes and taking a big bite.
Frosting sticks to the corner of her mouth.
I busy myself opening a box of pizza and slicing it into neat pieces, sliding each slice onto a plate.

"We used to have a thing going on back when I was doing my internship in Melbourne," I explain.
"Mmm… he looks older than you," Melissa comments, raising an eyebrow.
"He is, with five years," I respond. "He was a senior researcher there… kind of like my mentor."
"Whoa, Ashleigh," Melissa says with a smirk. "I have to hand it to you. Older men are the real deal."
I scoff softly, focusing on the pizza.

"What happened?" Anna presses, already halfway through her cupcake.
"My program ended, and I had to leave."
"Okay, and?" She asks again, genuinely curious.
"I ended things. Melbourne's pretty far from LA, and the time difference is such a bitch."
"Oh, I see."
"Yeah."
I finish slicing the last pizza and wipe my hands on a dish towel before leaning my elbows on the counter.

"Wait a minute…" Melissa straightens, her eyes widening. "You mean he came all the way from Australia just to see you?"
I nod.
Anna and Melissa let out a synchronised "Awww," which makes my cheeks heat.
"What?" I laugh, embarrassed.
"What do you mean by 'what'?" Anna coos, wiping frosting from her fingers. "That's so romantic."
"Yeah, I know," I whisper, staring down at the counter. "He wants me to think about giving us another chance."
"Okay….????"

"And I don't know," I admit, my voice dropping. "I don't really do long distance. I've tried it once, and it didn't end well. I don't want a repeat of that… even though he's willing to work through it."
"Relationships can be so complicated, ugh," Melissa sighs.
"Is that why you're single?" I ask.
"Yup." She replies. "I have come to the very painful conclusion that they are not for me. I'll just stick to situationships and one-night stands."

Anna moves to the sink to rinse her hands under the tap. "Roy and I have our issues sometimes, too, but our love for each other outweighs everything," she says dreamily. "I can't picture life without him."
As if on cue, Roy saunters into the kitchen. "I'm starving. Where's the food?"
He walks straight behind Anna, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You girls gossiping while the food gets cold? I can't believe this."
He kisses her again. "Hope you're not talking about me?"

"Oh, please," Melissa scoffs, rolling her eyes. "You're not that important," she jokes.
Roy laughs, reaching for three plates of pizza. "I'd better get these to the guys before they get any colder, since y'all are too busy chatting."
We shoo him away playfully.
Melissa picks up the tray of cupcakes. "I'll be back. Let me drop this off, too."
"Okay."
Anna turns to check the drinks in the coolers, humming along to the music drifting in from the living room.

I wonder what she would think if she knew the truth about Zayn and me.
"Can I ask you something?" I say before I can stop myself.
Anna glances up. "Sure."
"How did you know Roy was the one?"
She closes the cooler slowly, wiping her hands on her shorts. "I don't know if there was a moment, exactly. It's more like… every time I imagined my future, he was in it." She says softly.
My chest squeezes.

"Is this about your Australian guy?" Anna asks gently. "Or someone else?"
I open my mouth to answer, but Melissa reappears in the doorway, her eyes bright with excitement.
"Okay, you two need to come out here. The boys found a liquor stash, and things are getting interesting."
Anna laughs, grabbing my arm. "Come on, Ash. Relationship crisis can wait. We have tequila."
I let her pull me toward the living room, the question still hanging unanswered between us.

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"Pass the blunt, would you?" Fareed demands, reaching across the coffee table.
Samuel takes one last long, slow pull before handing it over. The pungent, earthy smell of weed hangs in the living room air.
Fareed inhales deeply, then passes it to Melissa, who takes it with a lazy smile, her eyes already glassy and half-lidded.
Roy and Anna had disappeared upstairs hours ago.
The rest of us are still sprawled out on the floor.

It's past midnight, and we're all thoroughly drunk after partying hard and eating all the snacks. Now, the energy has mellowed into something hazy and slow.
The blunt eventually makes its way to Zayn. He stares at it for a second, then shakes his head.
"Come on," Melissa presses, her voice soft and slurry. "Just one puff. It's the good stuff, I assure you." Her eyes are droopy, clearly already floating. "My plug says it's a special type of weed."

"I really don't smoke." He drawls, his voice rough from the alcohol intoxication.
"It's just a one-time thing." Fareed chimes in, grinning. "I'm seeing stars, bro."
Samuel is already gone, his head tipped back against the chair and eyes closed.
Plus, there's a peaceful smile on his face.
Zayn finally takes the blunt and pulls two long drags before passing it to Ryan.
He hesitates, then shrugs. "Just for tonight."
Fareed, Melissa and Zayn nod.
He takes a deep hit, coughs once, and hands it to me.

Why the fuck not? I think.
If it'll distract me from worrying about what answer to give Ryan, I'll take it.
I bring the blunt to my lips and take a very long drag. The smoke burns my throat, and I immediately start coughing hard.
Ryan pats my back until I can breathe again. Then, feeling bolder, I take another pull.
"Yaaay," Melissa cheers lazily, getting to her feet and staggering. "Y'all gon' have the best sleep ever. Imma go crash somewhere. Night, guys."
"I'm coming with you. Wait up." Fareed drawls, clumsily scrambling to his feet, and goes with Melissa.

"Night," we mumble back.
My attention shifts to Samuel once more, who's fully passed out, and I get to my feet too.
The weed, or whatever was mixed with it, is strong. My body feels lighter than air, and the floor seems to be moving beneath me.
"I'll be retiring too," I announce, my words coming out a little slower than usual.
"Can you walk?" Zayn asks. He looks high as fuck too, his eyes heavy and movements sluggish.

A giggle slips out of me before I can stop it. "I don't know… I can try."
Zayn and Ryan both stand up at the same time, moving to help me.
I look between the two of them —one on my left, one on my right— and suddenly the absurdity of the situation hits me.