Chapter 61 Why Not Me?

Chapter 61 Why Not Me?
I shrug, because how do I explain the complicated silence that's been living between my brother and me for weeks?
"Anyway, food's in the fridge like I said," Samuel gestures toward the sleek kitchen. "I'll show you to your rooms."
We follow him upstairs, and Samuel stops at two doors directly opposite each other.
"These are yours. Everything you need should be there, but let me know if you're missing anything."
"Thanks, Samuel," I say sincerely.

"No, thank you for coming." He checks his watch. "I actually have to run out real quick. Need to get my board repainted before the competition. Won't take long. You two gonna be okay here?"
"I see no reason why not," Zayn mutters.
"Cool. See you soon then."
We watch Samuel jog down the stairs and disappear out the front door.
Zayn and I stand in the hallway, staring at each other across the narrow space between our rooms.

The silence endures for a moment.
Then, without a word, we both turn and disappear into our separate rooms.
I close the door behind me and walk over to the glass doors, sliding them open.
The sea breeze rushes in, cool and salty.
I close my eyes, breathing it in.
Zayn and I came here for a break.
But standing here alone in this beautiful room, listening to the ocean while he's just across the hall, I wonder if distance is really what we need.
Or if what we really need is to finally stop running from each other.

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Samuel's friends are surprisingly cool.
We're all sprawled out on the beach after demolishing several large pizzas and far too many drinks.
Roy and Anna are the only couple in the group. They're curled up together on a blanket, laughing quietly at something only they seem to understand.
I catch myself staring a little too long. They look so effortlessly in love, it makes me green with envy.

Melissa, on the other hand, has taken a liking to Zayn.
Who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure if Anna weren't in love with Roy, she'd have her eyes on Zayn, too.
Melissa has been by his side all evening.
Right now, she's sitting on the foldable chair next to his, talking about something while he drinks a beer.
He's shirtless, wearing dark beach shorts that show off his fit legs.
I like that he's fully back in shape now since the accident.

There's a little scar on the side of his ribs that'll forever remind him of that drastic point in his life, but it's also proof that he's a survivor.
Melissa keeps leaning in closer as she speaks, even though Zayn doesn't seem particularly engaged.
But he isn't pushing her away either.
I tear my eyes away just as Fareed, the last person in the friend group, appears in front of me, flashing that bright, dimpled smile.
He's handsome and cute at the same time.

I've had a feeling for the past couple of hours that he likes me… and I've been quietly avoiding him because I'm not ready to deal with any of that right now.
It's funny how Zayn and I already have people interested in us, and it's not been a full day yet.
Very beautiful people, too.
Fareed reaches down and takes my hand, gently pulling me up from my towel.
"Hey," I start to protest.
"You've been gloomy all day," he says, still smiling. "Come with me."
"Where are we going?" I ask, letting him tug me along.
"To the water."
"I really don't want to get wet."

Fareed gives me a playful look, those dimples deepening. "You're on the beach, Ash. Getting wet isn't optional. Come on."
Samuel chuckles from his spot on the sand. "There's no dissuading Fareed once he's made up his mind. Just go with him."
I roll my eyes but don't fight it, letting Fareed pull me toward the shoreline while the rest of the group cheers and whistles behind us.
Melissa is still talking to Zayn, but I feel his eyes on me the entire way.

"Do we really have to do this?" I ask when we're halfway between the group and the water.
Fareed's grin widens.
He has really curly brown hair that appears very soft, and green eyes.
"Yes, we really do," he says. "You've been sitting there like a storm cloud all evening. Time to wash it off."
Before I can protest again, he's pulling me again toward the shoreline.

The sand under my feet grows cooler and firmer as we near the water.
The first wave rushes up, kissing my ankles. It's cold, shocking enough to make me yelp and laugh at the same time.
Fareed laughs with me, not letting go of my hand. "You'll get used to it."
We wade in deeper until the water reaches our thighs. My back is turned to him when he splashes me lightly.
I gasp in shock before splashing back harder. "How dare you?!"

We start play-fighting in the water, and I feel the tension in my chest loosen with every burst of laughter.
For a few minutes, I experience the simple joy of playing like kids.
Roy and Anna notice us and come running over, hand in hand, squealing as they hit the waves. Anna shrieks when a bigger wave knocks her sideways, and Roy catches her, spinning her around in the water like they're in their own little world.
How I wish Zayn and I could enjoy that privilege of being together out in the open.

I let myself enjoy this, but my eyes keep drifting back to the beach.
Melissa is still sitting beside Zayn on the foldable chairs. I wonder what she's been talking about the entire time.
What a fucking chatterbox.
I stiffen briefly when she reaches up and plucks something from his hair, holding it between her fingers.
She shows it to him, smiling, and he looks at her, the corner of his mouth lifting in what might be amusement.
My stomach drops.
He hasn't been that way with me in a while.

The playful energy I'd managed to find in the water drains away instantly. I'm suddenly hyper-aware of how cold the ocean feels, how exposed I am standing here in just my bikini while Melissa sits dry and cosy next to him, touching him.
Fareed notices. "Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing." I lie, forcing a smile. "Just cold."
"Shit, let's get you out then." He moves through the water and slips an arm around my shoulders.
"Guys, we're heading back," he calls to Roy and Anna, who are still splashing around like kids on summer break.
"Okay," they reply, barely looking up, lost in their own little bubble.

Fareed keeps his arm around me as we make our way back to shore. "I'm sorry I made you come in," he says, sounding genuinely apologetic. "I didn't realise you were that cold."
"It's fine," I murmur, even though it isn't.
The cold isn't really the problem.
We draw closer to the group still lounging on the sand. Samuel, Melissa, and Zayn are exactly where we left them.
"Damn, bro," I hear Samuel say as we approach, "your sister's actually hot."
Melissa immediately throws an empty plastic bottle at his head. "Shut up."

Zayn gives Samuel a death glare that makes him laugh nervously and raise his hands in surrender. "Sorry, man. My bad."
Fareed shakes his head with a pitying look and grabs a spare blanket from the pile, wrapping it around my shoulders.
"Hey," he says kindly, "wanna cuddle with me for some body warmth?"
I manage a small, tired smile. "No, thank you. I think I'm just going to head inside and lie down."
I can feel Zayn's eyes on me.
Fareed looks worried. "Want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm okay. Just going to crash in my room. It's nothing." I turn to the group, deliberately avoiding Zayn's gaze. "Night, guys."
"Night," they chorus back— all except Zayn, who stays silent.
As I turn and walk toward the house, I can still feel his stare following me across the sand.