Chapter 13 — Maybe I just need to take my meds

Lana:

I wipe my dirty hands on my shorts as I take a couple of samples from an old sedimentary deposit. I look around the large cavern and make my way to some of the niches on the ground. Water flows from the openings on the wall, and shadows dance around the ground from the flickering lights in the openings around the ceiling. The cavern is beautiful with its earthy colors of red, brown and auburn. It feels like I’m walking inside of the sun. Smiling widely, I walk across the smooth ground until I come to a massive drop below. The yawning opening is pretty deep. Earlier, I threw a large rock, and it took a while before I heard it strike the ground.

“I wouldn’t get closer if I were you, chérie.” A smooth male voice mutters behind me.

Turning around, I come face to face with Michael. I didn’t lie when I said that Michael was hot. Not only does he sound like he can make love to you with his French droll, but he looks like a woman’s wet dream. His russet-colored hair is cut short in the back and long on the top showing silky curls, and his eyes gleam like emeralds. He and Lucifer are about the same height at a couple of inches over six feet, broad shoulders and muscular frames. Where Lucifer is pale, Michael has golden skin.

“Hello, Michael,” I smile. “Nice outfit.” I point to his dark cargo pants, black crewneck sweater and combat boots.

Michael vows his head and gives me a gentle smile. “Hello, Lana. Do you really like my garments?”

“Yeah, you look like you fit in. You should see some of the outfits Lucifer has worn when he has visited me.”

His arms flex as he comes closer and sits beside me. I have to swallow hard at the sight of his perfect face. His jaw has some stubble, and his cheekbones are sculpted below his brooding gaze and perfectly arched eyebrows. “I can imagine my frère probably wears leather garments with many chains.”

I bite my lip and roll my eyes at his accurate estimation. “That would be one of the outfits I have seen him in. So, did Lucifer send you here to keep an eye on me?” I ask.

His smile widens, showing the most delicious dimples. “Is it that obvious, chérie?”

I shrug as I stride toward a flat rock near the entrance of the cave. Looking up into his beautiful green eyes, I wring my fingers. “Listen, Michael… …I wanted to apologize to you for what happened last night.”

He places his hand over mine, stopping my movements. “Ne t’en fais pas, I understand that it wasn’t you.”

I look at his elegant fingers and turn my hands to wrap them around his. “But it was me, Michael. It was so messed up, and then I kissed you and…”

Michael makes soothing sounds as he raises his hand and places his thumb against my lips. “There is no need to apologize. Truly,”

I wrap my hand around his wrist and gaze intently into his familiar eyes. “You know…I remember you.” I lower his hand back down, keeping it connected to mine. “At first, it was flashes of memories. Then the moments stretched, and I could see scenes. I remember how whenever you’d come searching for me, you’d always give me a trinket.”

He gives me a crooked smile. “I remember how fond you were of strawberries.”

My eyes tear up as the memories continue to assail me. “You were the best part of heaven and the only reason I stayed strong for as long as I could. I tried so hard for you though my madness began to spread through my mind like a disease.”

Michael gulps loudly as he pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. “Je suis vraiment désolé, chérie.”

I cling to his waist and tuck my head beneath his chin. “I don’t know what you just said,” I mutter with a hint of humor and sadness.

He snickers, “I said, I was so sorry,” he kisses the top of my head and gently rocks me. “I am sorry for all that you suffered and for hurting you in the end.”

His warm hand caresses mine, making my skin prickle with heat. Looking up, I let my hair fall around me like a curtain as I appraise him from beneath my lashes. Michael is the kind of guy any woman would be lucky to call their own. Not only is he gorgeous, but this nobility about him makes the heart melt. He also has this smoldering intensity that makes me feel a mixture of emotions. However, even he can’t compete with Lucifer’s brooding darkness.

“I remember the first time we met. You were wearing this beautiful gold armor, and your feathery white wings were extended so far that they nearly touched the ceiling. You were so stoic at first that I thought you didn’t like me.” I reminisce. It’s strange because the more memories I gather, the more I connect to them as if they just happened.

Michael takes tendrils of my hair between his fingers and plays with them. He looks almost distracted as he curls them around his fingers. “It’s not that I didn’t like you, chérie. I was in complete shock to meet the first archangel female and learn that you were meant for Lucifer. Though I was compelled by your beauty, I was also saddened by your star-crossed fate.” He loosens his hold on my hair and places his fingers beneath my chin, angling my face to meet his. “Your sadness was palpable, and I wanted to fly down hell and beat my frère for his stupidity. All I could think was that if he had known about you, he would never have left heaven.”

“You can still beat him up if you want. I won’t stop you.” I retort.

Michael’s lip quirks with amusement as he caresses my neck and jaw. “I would if it wasn’t for the fact that it seems my frère is experiencing deep regret for his actions.”

His eyes search mine. “I knew he would once he saw what an amazing gift he was given—the bastard.”

It’s funny because I do not feel embarrassed or awkward in sharing affection with Michael. In fact, I’m quite comfortable with rising from my perch, taking his hand and leading him to another cavern. He seems to feel the same way because he holds my hand too. “Well, since you’re here, you can join me in traversing through these caves. What do you say?”

He looks around the vast cavern and nods. “It seems we are to have an adventure. Lead the way, chérie.”

Touring the caverns with Michael turns out to be pretty fun. Like Lucifer, Michael is very intelligent and curious.

He snickers when I tell him that. “Well, it helps that I’ve been around for a very long time. My knowledge also helps in my classroom.”

My brow furrows with curiosity, “You teach?”

He nods, “Oui, I am a professor at a private institute.”

I consider how the women at his school must react when he walks into a classroom and smile. “Wow, you must turn a lot of heads,”

His lip quirks into an arrogant smile, “Oui, my classes do usually hold more females than males.”

I laugh, “I can definitely see that.”

That evening, we’re packing up my gear when Lucifer appears. Michael kisses the palm of my hand and winks. “It seems my shift is over, chérie. I will see you tomorrow?”

I throw my arms around him and embrace him tightly. “Thanks, Michael, but as much fun as I had with you, you don’t have to babysit me. I’m a big girl who can take care of herself. Plus, sometimes I work with my team, and it’s probably best if they don’t see you.”

He doesn’t reply or argue. I can tell that he’s planning to ignore my directive.

Michael steps out of my arms and snickers at Lucifer’s silent scowl before he vanishes from sight.

“He’s such a wanker,” Lucifer mumbles irritably.

At his tone, I roll my eyes and chuckle.

Lucifer extends his hand out to me and mutters, “Let’s go, luv.”

I take his hand, “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” he replies before he flashes us both out of the cave.

To my surprise, he doesn’t take me to his home. Instead, he takes me to one of the canyon’s tall plateaus. I look around and smile when I see a and elegant table decorated with candles, wine glasses and a delicious dinner. The breeze brushes my skin, ruffling my clothes as the sun sets down the rugged horizon.

“What’s this?” I ask.

Lucifer pulls a chair out and gestures for me to take a seat, which I do without argument. While he pours me a glass, I pull out a cloth napkin and rest it on my lap. Lucifer hands me the glass and takes a seat across from me. “Bon Appetit.”

I smile, “Did you cook this?”

He shakes his head, “No, luv. That is one skill that I managed not to pick up during my long existence. However, I do know how to order dinner from quality restaurants. Your sister was kind enough to inform me of your preferences.”

“Thank you,” I mutter as I dig into the delicious meal with gusto. Over the next two hours, Lucifer and I talk and laugh. As far as dates go, this definitely at the top of the list of the greatest date ever. I mean, how many women can say that they had a five-star dinner with a gorgeous man at the top of the Grand Canyon during a sunset? It was magical.

I spend most of my days exploring the canyon and my nights in Lucifer’s arms, talking, making love and doing things couples do together. Michael comes around several times too. That is until I sit him and Lucifer down and explain why I could not have them coming around while I’m working. I go on far too many group outings, and if my team saw Michael and Lucifer, they’d wonder where they came from. Eventually, we all agree to let Lucifer post guards on me. Though I suspect the guards have been there all along.

Lucifer turned out to be quite the romantic. Soon after our elegant dinner at the Canyon, he brought me back to his home. There were rose petals and candles on his bathroom floor, and he had a hot bath ready for me. After my bath, Lucifer fed and gave me a full body massage. It was amazing.

We’ve pretty much spent most of our nights together, which tells me that we’ve entered into a relationship, but I’m not really sure.

Lucifer lifts me into his arms with a snicker as he leads me to his bed and settles me on top of the plush surface. His sinewy body arches above me, and his lips connect back with mine. The kiss is gentle and sweet. Sighing with contentment, I caress his shoulder and kiss his chin. Lucifer buries his head in my shoulder and holds me tightly.

“I never asked you if you want to be my mate?” he asks.

I lift his head and meet his gaze, gauging his expression. He looks unsure and uncomfortable. “It would nice,” I mutter. “But what would that mean for…her...Apolliana?”

He frowns. “We’re still trying to figure it out, luv. I know Apolliana’s angry, but she’s still a part of you. We just need to find a way to save you both and finally merge you together.”

“Are you sure this is what you want? We don’t even know if…” I stop and swallow hard. “What if she takes over and I stop existing?”

He shakes his head adamantly and rests back on the bed, pulling me into the comfort of his arms. “It will not bloody happen. We’ll find a way.”

I caress his chest distractedly and mutter, “What have you discovered?”

He settles his head over his forearm and hums, “We have found some tomes that make mention of the destroyer. They were vague, but we’re hoping to find something soon.”

I nod, “I want to help. Do you have any books that I can look at?”

He nods. “I’ll send them to your house in the morning.”

“Hopefully, something will give soon. My sister and Zoe have been calling me every day,” I mutter grumpily.

I love my sister and Zoe, but sometimes they can be a little overbearing. When they call me, our conversations will end with us arguing. They cannot understand my refusal to upend my life just because I’m scared of what might happen.

Lucifer caresses my spine, his chest rising and falling steadily. I rest my head on his shoulder. “They’re concerned for you, luv.”

I look ahead distractedly. There’s so much we still need to talk about. Things that I’ve been keeping from him that I have to eventually tell him. Unfortunately, when we’re together, I hesitate. It’s hard to admit that something’s wrong when everything else seems to be going so well. It also scares me to think that if I say it out loud, it will become real.

Lucifer pushing me back onto the bed and leans over me. “Is something wrong?” he asks. My head thrums wildly in my chest, and I swallow down my fear with a shake of my head. His expression is curious, but he doesn’t comment. Instead, he lowers his head back to mine and kisses me.

Come morning, I greet my guards and join my team. This time, Jill, Kyle, Tony and I head deep into one of the caverns near the south rim. There are caverns that tourists can hike in, but we were given special permission to investigate uninhabited caverns. We spend a year training to traverse the rugged terrains, and we’re all ready to put in practice everything that we’ve learned.

Each of us repels deep into one of the caverns’ bowels until we reach a myriad of openings. We marked our entrances with chalk and cataloged whatever interesting things we could find. For hours we work together and collect specimens until we become hungry and head back to one of the cavern’s opening.

It’s only when Kyle begins joking around and mistakenly drops our specimen collection box down one of the caverns that things begin to go wrong. While Jill berates him, Tony tries to recover the remaining specimens. As they continue to argue, I can feel my angel coming to the fore. My anger heightens, and my hands curl into tight fists. Turning away, I head to the other side of the cavern and close my eyes, but I can still feel my eyes begin to glow.

Jaw clenched, I grit my teeth and repel down the cavern. Jill calls out to me, but I ignore her. Chest heaving, I pace inside of the cavern and claw at the walls.

“Are you okay, Lana?” Jill calls out.

“I’m…okay,” I manage to reply. “I just checking to see what specimens I can… s-save,” my voice falters.

My teammates’ voices continue to echo around me, but I’m too close to losing control to care. As soon as the cavern’s interior lights up, I know that I’ve lost my tenuous tether on Apolliana. From the back of my mind, I watch helplessly as Apolliana looks up to where my team is and grins wickedly. Within moments, the ground begins to quake, and water begins to fill the cavern. Rumbles and hisses resound above me, followed by my teammate’s screams.

Apolliana grips the cave’s wall as the water rises below us and climbs it until we’re standing where my teammates are trying to swat away several large snakes. Tony and Jill stand on top of a boulder, fighting the creatures, while Kyle clings precariously to one of the walls.

“Lana, look out!” Kyle calls out as more snakes fill the room, nearly covering the whole floor.

Jill and Tony scream, “Run, Lana!”

Apolliana ignores their warnings as she steps around the rattlers, common king snakes and gopher snakes.

The snakes slither around me but do not touch me. My teammates watch with alarm as I stride purposely toward them. I try to stop myself from walking because I can feel that her intent is malicious. I can sense that Apolliana wants to tear my teammates from the safety of the stones and toss them toward the snakes. A part of me is relishing the thought of bloodshed, while the other part is horrified by my dreadful thoughts. Tears glide down my face at my impotence as Apolliana continues her path. However, I can also feel anticipation at what is about to happen.

She’s about to reach for Jill when everything stops. It’s like someone froze time. Jill, Tony and Kyle freeze where they are, and the snakes hover in place.

Lucifer appears before me at that moment, his brow arched as he gazes around the room. “What a naughty girl you are, luv.” He mutters before he snaps his fingers and makes the snakes, the water and my teammates disappear.

Apolliana grinds her teeth and glares. “You need to stop ruining my fun, Lucifer.”

Lucifer narrows his eyes, “Do you think this is a bloody game, Apolliana? You can’t keep doing this. Lana would not be happy if you hurt her friends.”

In the deep recess of my mind, I cheer Lucifer for saving my teammates. However, Apolliana is too far gone to care about my feelings or anyone else’s. “You have no say in what I do, Lucifer. You gave up all right when you left me to slowly rot from the inside.”

My mind begins to grow foggy again, making me feel a bit disoriented. Like before, Apolliana’s madness is poisoning me from the inside.

Lucifer carefully moves closer, his gaze steadily kept on mine. Apolliana angles her head and gives him a daring glare.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Apolliana. But you need to let Lana back in,” he mutters steadily.

Apolliana circles around Lucifer then stops and leans close to his ear and whispers. “I know what you’ve done. But it won’t change anything. I am growing stronger, and your lovely lover is growing weaker. It won’t be long…” Apolliana hisses, and that’s when I feel her mind losing control. As if we’re connected, our voices join, and we begin to manically recite a poem that I haven’t heard since I was in high school. If her sing-song tone wasn’t so terrifying, I’d be amazed by the fact that Apolliana quotes Sylvia Plath. “I shut my eyes, and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids, and all is born again. (I think I made you up inside my head.) The stars go waltzing out in blue and red, and arbitrary blackness gallops in.

I shut my eyes, and all the world drops dead. I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed. And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane. (I think I made you up inside my head.)

Her laughter reverberates across the room as she throws her head back and screams, “Lana’s going to drop dead, and all the world will drop dead…”

Chest heaving Lucifer wraps his hand around her throat and lifts her to her toes. “Shut your sodding mouth!” he growls. His eyes glow like crimson flames as he leads us to a nearby wall until our back is against the wall. “Bring back Lana, Apolliana. Let her come back now!” he seems so distraught as he commands and pleads for her to let me go.

Apolliana grins slyly as she raises her clawed hands and clutches his wrist. “God topples from the sky; hell’s fires fade. Exit seraphim and Satan’s men. I shut my eyes, and all the world drops dead. I fancied you’d return the way you said. But I grow old, and I forget your name. (I think I made you up inside my head.)”

Her nails dig into his skin, drawing blood, but Lucifer does not release his hold. “Lana is not going to die, Apolliana. You need to sort yourself out, but I won’t let you hurt her.”

Apolliana growls as she cuts into his skin, “I should have loved a thunderbird instead; At least when spring comes, they roar back again. I shut my eyes, and all the world drops dead. (I think I made you up inside my head.)”

Lucifer’s lips tighten with fury, but he manages to restrain himself as he gazes into our eyes and mutters. “Lana, I know you’re in there, luv. Please come out…please,” his voice grows husky, “…please come back to me, luv.”

I try to push through the walls Apolliana has erected, but it feels like I’m wading through quicksand.

“I need you, Lana. Don’t leave me.” Lucifer continues beseechingly. After a moment, I feel Apolliana’s control wavering, which allows me to finally break through her walls. “Lucifer,” I mutter dazedly.

“That’s it, luv. Come back to me.” Lucifer murmurs.

As soon as Apolliana’s walls fall apart, my rage drains from my body, and the darkness falls from me like a cloak.