Chapter 169 Lilian Baker

Chapter 169 Lilian Baker
It couldn't end like this.

Not after everything he'd just admitted.

Not after he had looked me in the eyes and confessed that he liked me.

Not after days of wondering whether I'd imagined everything that had happened between us.

He couldn't simply tell me he had feelings for me... and then walk away as though they meant nothing.

I sat up straighter on the bed.

"What if I don't like Lewis?"

His shoulders stiffened.

"What?"

"What if I don't want to be with Lewis? What if this fake relationship never becomes real?"

He remained quiet.

I took that as permission to continue.

"What if you're wrong?"

His eyes searched mine, but I didn't look away.

"What if you're the one I want?"

The words hung heavily between us.

I expected him to interrupt.

To tell me I was confused.

Instead, he simply stood there, saying nothing.

That silence gave me courage.

"What if there are ways to make this work?" I asked softly. "We don't even know because you've already decided it can't."

He sighed.

"Lily..."

"No."

I shook my head.

"You keep talking about what everyone else will think."

"What about us? What about what we want?"

He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again.

"To what gain?"

"What?"

"Let's say we ignore everything,” his voice remained calm. "Let's say we decide to be together. Then what?"

"We'll figure it out."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly! You don't know."

"People figure things out all the time,” I countered.

"And people also ruin their lives all the time."

His tone wasn't harsh. If anything, it sounded tired.

"I've seen it happen." He looked away for a moment before continuing. "You remember Dave and Anna?"

My stomach tightened.

Why did he bring up Dave and Anna?

Andrew looked back at me before asking, "Do you want that?"

"We're not them."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"No, Lily." He shook his head gently. "It doesn't. The moment people see a teacher and a student together, they stop seeing individuals, they see a scandal."

I hated how true his words sounded.

He continued, "I could lose my job. I could lose my reputation and every other thing I've spent years building could disappear."

His expression softened. "And you?" He looked at me sadly. "You become the girl everyone talks about. The whispers won't stop. The rumours won't stop. They'll say you manipulated me. They'll say I manipulated you. They'll question every conversation we've ever had. They'll question every time they ever saw us together."

His voice grew quieter. "You'll be bullied. You'll be judged. You'll carry that label long after people forget my name."

I felt tears sting my eyes.

"I don't care."

"I do,” he answered immediately. "I care enough for both of us."

I looked away.

"There has to be another way."

He smiled sadly. "There isn't."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"How?"

"Because some things are forbidden for a reason,” his words came out deliberately slow. "We don't make rules like these because love isn't real. We make them because power, timing, and responsibility matter."

He took another breath. "Trying to ignore that would be stupid."

The word hurt because his mind was already made up before he even confessed.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to take back the tears.

"So that's it?"

He didn't answer.

"You're just giving up?"

"I'm choosing the option that hurts less in the long run."

"It doesn't hurt less."

A faint smile crossed his face but he didn't say anything. The silence stretched until he finally broke it.

"Lewis is a good person."

I laughed bitterly.

"We're talking about us."

"I know."

"Then why are you talking about Lewis?"

"Because he matters."

"He matters to you."

"He should matter to you too."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

"He'll make you happy," he continued.

"You don't know that."

"I know him,” he smiled faintly. "He has a better heart than I do."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"He laughs more. He's kinder. He doesn't overthink everything. He'll choose you without spending an hour listing reasons why he shouldn't."

His attempt at humour only made my chest ache.

"You deserve someone like that. You deserve Lewis."

"No,” I said firmly. "I deserve to choose for myself."

"Lily…"

"You don't get to decide who deserves me."

"I know."

"No, you don't."

I stood from the bed.

"You keep acting like you're sacrificing yourself for me."

"I'm trying to protect you."

"Maybe I don't want that kind of protection."

He looked at me for a long moment. Then he said the words that hurt more than anything else.

"Try looking at Lewis the way you've been looking at me."

I froze, completely dumbfounded.

He continued quietly. "If you give him a real chance, I think you'll eventually fall for him."

Something inside me cracked because he was willing to hand me over to someone else.

"You really think that's how feelings work?"

He didn't answer.

"You think I can just... transfer them?"

A humourless laugh escaped me.

"Wow." I shook my head slowly. "I've been giving you too much credit."

"Lily…"

"No." I held up my hand. "You know what your problem is?"

He remained silent.

"You're a coward."

The word landed between us.

He didn't flinch, he didn't argue. He simply looked at me with tired eyes.

"A complete coward,” I continued. "You hide behind rules. You hide behind responsibility. You hide behind what everyone else might think."

"Maybe all those reasons are valid."

I nodded.

"Maybe they are, but they're still hiding."

He lowered his gaze.

"You admitted you like me,” I whispered. "And somehow..." I laughed softly through the tears threatening to fall. "You've managed to turn that into a goodbye."

He closed his eyes briefly.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apology."

"I know."

"I wanted honesty."

"You got it."

"No." I shook my head. "I got your fear.”

He didn't defend himself. He just stood there, accepting every accusation and that made me even angrier.

I took a deep breath.

"Fine."

If this was how he wanted it, then so be it.

I forced the strongest smile I could manage.

"You know what? I'll do exactly what you asked."

His eyes lifted to mine.

"I'll enjoy this fake relationship. I'll spend time with Lewis. I'll laugh. I'll smile. I'll hold his hand. And since that's what you want, let's pretend this conversation never happened."

The room became unbearably quiet.

I looked away before he could see the tears gathering in my eyes.

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Goodnight, Lily."

I didn't answer.

A second later, I heard the door open, then close.

I stood in the middle of the room, staring at the closed door.

Part of me wanted to run after him, another part wanted to scream. Instead, I climbed back into bed and pulled the blanket over myself.

If Andrew wanted me to pretend none of this had happened, then I would. But as I closed my eyes, one thought refused to leave me.

The cruelest thing Andrew had done wasn't admitting that he loved me. It was convincing himself that loving me meant letting me go.