Chapter 99 I Wanted To Be With Her
Liam's POV
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?" Stacy asked, her fingers tightening slightly around the steering wheel.
She had been driving me to school every day lately. At first, I told myself it was practical. Convenient. Easier. But the truth was, I agreed because it helped me avoid temptation.
If I drove myself, I knew exactly where I would end up at Mia's apartment.
My heart had been pulling me there every single night.
Seeing her today near the library almost ruined everything.
I was not prepared for it. I was not prepared to see her standing there with her books pressed against her chest, looking smaller than I remembered. And when her books fell and that photo slipped out...
God.
For a second, I forgot how to breathe.
That photo.
The one of us smiling like nothing in the world could touch us.
When Stacy mocked her, I wanted to snap. I wanted to tell her to stop. I wanted to tell Mia not to feel embarrassed, that seeing that photo made me happier than I had been in weeks.
Because it meant she was not over me. It meant I was not the only one suffering.
But instead, I stayed quiet.
I handed her the books like I was just some random guy helping a classmate. My voice sounded unfamiliar to my own ears when I said, "Here."
That single word felt like betrayal.
Pretending I did not care felt worse than any insult Stacy could throw at her. Every step I took away from Mia felt like I was walking away from my own heart.
Stacy glanced at me now, waiting for my answer.
"Yes," I finally said. "I want to hang out with Daniel later."
"And talk about Mia?" she asked, her lips tightening.
Her tone changed instantly. She was jealous.
"If I wanted to talk to Mia, I would have done it today," I replied, forcing my voice to stay calm. "You saw how I ignored her, Stacy. I already told you. It's over between us."
The words tasted bitter. If it was truly over, why did my chest ache every time she looked at me?
Stacy studied my face as if she were searching for cracks.
"I believe you, Liam," she said slowly. "Just don't ruin my trust. Or else... she will suffer in my hands."
Her words were soft, but the threat was clear. My jaw tightened, but I said nothing. Because that was the whole reason I was doing this.
I could handle Stacy. I could handle her conditions, her manipulations, her constant reminders of what she could do. But Mia could not. Mia had already lost enough. Her scholarship was everything to her. Her future depended on it.
And I had already put her in danger once.
I walked away from Stacy's car and headed toward Daniel's classroom, my hands shoved deep into my pockets to stop them from shaking.
I hated how powerless I felt.
After I broke up with Mia, I went straight to our coach and told him I was quitting football. I did not have the energy anymore. I did not have the heart for it. Everything felt pointless without her cheering in the stands or waiting for me after practice.
Coach did not accept it.
He told me to stay until graduation. He said I could skip practice if I needed to, show up whenever I wanted. He practically bent the rules for me.
It felt unfair to my teammates. Unfair to the guy who would eventually replace me as quarterback. So I told him to find someone else. I insisted.
He just looked at me and said, "Think about it, Liam."
But how could I think clearly when my whole world felt upside down?
Everywhere I looked, I saw reminders of her.
The cafeteria table where she used to sit.
The hallway where she used to wait for me.
The field where she once ran toward me after a win.
And today, the way her hands trembled when she picked up that photo.
She still loved me. I could see it in her eyes. The pain. The hope she tried to hide.
And knowing that she was hurting because of me made me feel hollow inside.
I wanted to run back to the library. I wanted to grab her hand and to tell her I never stopped loving her.
But loving her was not enough. Not when my family could destroy her future with a single phone call.
Not when Stacy was watching every move I made.
So I kept walking.
The truth was something I could not escape. I forced myself to look indifferent. I told Stacy it was done. I whispered the same words to myself every night. But every lie fell apart the moment I was alone. Because deep down, all I wanted was to see Mia.
Even if it meant breaking all over again.
“You don’t need to drag me with you, and you know that,” Daniel said as I opened the passenger door and slid into his car.
He didn’t even look at me right away. He just started the engine like he already knew this was a bad idea.
“You’re friends with Josh,” he added. “You can visit his salon anytime. You don’t need me for that.”
I stayed quiet.
What was I supposed to say? That I wasn’t going there for Josh? That I wasn’t going there for a haircut either?
“I didn’t want to see Josh,” I finally said after letting out a heavy sigh.
Daniel glanced at me briefly before focusing back on the road. “Of course,” he said. “I knew you wanted to see her. Why don’t you just talk to her, Liam?”
I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes.
“And say what?” I muttered. “That I wanted to be with her? That I think about her every damn second? That every time I pretend she doesn’t exist, it feels like I’m tearing my own chest open?”
Daniel didn’t interrupt.
“I wanted to be with her, Dan,” I continued, my voice lower now. “More than anything. But I don’t want to hurt Mia. I can’t make promises I’m not sure I can keep. I want her to be safe. I want her to be happy. Even if that happiness doesn’t include me.”
“Happy?” Daniel repeated, almost laughing. “Do you really think she’s happy right now? After you treated her like she was a stranger? After she gave you her whole heart?”
I let out a dry laugh, but there was nothing funny about it.
“Do you think she’s the only one who’s suffering?” I asked quietly.
The car felt suffocating.
“I’ve never felt this kind of emptiness before, Dan,” I admitted. “It’s like there’s a hole inside me that won’t close. I feel helpless. Powerless. And the worst part is… I know I’m the reason she’s hurting. As much as I want to be with her, I can’t. Not like this.”
Daniel was silent for a few seconds.
“Then why are we going to the salon?” he asked.
I straightened in my seat and forced a casual tone. “I need a haircut.”
He looked at me like I had just insulted his intelligence. “I think they cater mostly to girls and women.”
“Josh is my friend,” I replied. “And salons don’t only cater to women. Men go to salons too. I’ll pay. I’ll give a generous tip if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Daniel shook his head slowly. “You’re not going there for a haircut.”
I didn’t answer.
The truth was obvious.
The moment we pulled up in front of the salon, my heart started pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. I told myself to stay calm. To act normal. To pretend I was just another customer.
But the second I stepped inside, everything around me faded.
She was there.
Mia was standing near one of the chairs, helping one of the staff. She looked focused and serious, her brows slightly furrowed as she listened carefully to a customer. Her hair was tied back neatly, and she moved with quiet confidence.
She looked stronger than the last time I saw her. And somehow… farther away from me than ever.
I hated that I couldn’t just walk up to her. I hated that I couldn’t even say her name out loud without feeling like my voice would break. I hated that I had to stand there like a complete stranger while she worked only a few steps away from me.
She hadn’t noticed me yet.
And for a moment, I didn’t know which hurt more. The fact that she hadn’t seen me… or the fear that when she finally did, she would look at me with nothing in her eyes.