Chapter 104 The Mask
Mia's POV
Guilt crawled through me slowly, like something alive.
"She tried to act strong," Josh said quietly, staring at his cup instead of me. "But she cried."
Something inside my chest cracked at those words.
I pressed my fingers against my temple, forcing myself to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Act normal.
All this time, I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing. I convinced myself that stepping back was protecting her. That being seen with Stacy, creating distance between Mia and me, would somehow make things easier for her.
I thought if people saw me move on, they would leave her alone.
I thought if I looked like the villain, she would be spared.
But she was fighting battles I didn't even know about.
Alone.
"I should have been there," I whispered, the words barely making it past my throat.
Josh didn't argue.
Because we both knew it was true.
I stared at my untouched coffee. The steam had already disappeared. Just like the confidence I walked in with.
"Does she hate me?" I asked quietly.
Josh studied me for a long moment. "She doesn't hate you."
That should have made me feel better.
It didn't.
"She's hurt, Liam," he continued. "And you're part of that hurt."
The words landed heavily between us. I felt them settle in my chest, suffocating me.
I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling for a second, trying to stop the tightness in my throat.
I loved her.
God, I loved her.
And somehow, every decision I made in the name of loving her only wounded her more.
I thought I was sacrificing myself.
But maybe I was just being a coward.
"I don't know what to do," I admitted. For the first time in a long while, I truly didn't.
Josh gave me a small, tired smile. "Then figure it out. Either fight for her properly or let her go properly. Stop standing in the middle."
Fight.
Or let go.
Not this half love. Not this distance that still keeps her close enough to hurt.
I left the café feeling worse than when I arrived.
The sky was starting to darken, the air cooler against my skin. I walked past the salon without looking inside, afraid I might see her through the glass.
Afraid I wouldn't be able to stop myself from running to her.
For the first time, I realized staying away from Mia wasn't protecting her.
It was slowly destroying both of us.
And the worst part?
I didn't know if I still had the right to fix it.
I don't remember deciding to go to her apartment.
My feet just carried me there.
By the time I realized where I was, I was already standing outside her building, hands shoved into my pockets, heart pounding harder than it ever did before a game.
The streetlights flickered on one by one. Cars passed. People walked by.
I waited.
I didn't even know where Josh was. Maybe he dropped her off somewhere else. Maybe she took the bus. Maybe she didn't want to come home yet.
Then I saw her.
She was walking slowly toward the building, her shoulders slightly slumped, her bag hanging loosely from her arm. Even from a distance, I could see how tired she looked.
Not just physically, but emotionally.
She looked fragile. And I hated myself for noticing that I was part of the reason.
When she lifted her head and saw me standing there, she froze.
Mia didn't smile. She didn't frown. She just stared at me. Like she didn't know what to feel anymore. That hurt more than anger would have.
I swallowed and started walking toward her, closing the distance between us step by step. My heart felt like it was trying to break out of my chest.
When I stopped in front of her, we were so close I could see the faint redness around her eyes.
She had been crying.
Because of me.
"Hi," I said softly, but the word felt too small for everything I wanted to say.
She didn't answer right away. She just looked at me, guarded. Careful.
Like I was someone who could hurt her again.
And the worst part was she wasn't wrong.
I wanted to reach for her. To hold her and apologize properly. To tell her I was wrong. That I was stupid. That I loved her more than my pride, more than my fear, more than anything.
But I hesitated. Because loving her had already cost her so much.
"I just wanted to see you and ask how you're doing," I finally said, my voice lower than usual.
Her jaw tightened slightly. "I'm fine."
She wasn't.
And I didn't deserve that lie.
"Mia," I said, and just saying her name felt like stepping onto fragile ground. "I thought staying away would make things easier for you."
Her eyes flickered with disbelief and anger.
"It didn't," I continued, forcing myself to keep going. "I thought if I made it look like I moved on... if I took the pressure, the attention... you would be free."
My voice cracked slightly. I didn't bother hiding it.
"But all I did was leave you alone."
The silence between us felt heavy.
I took a small step closer, careful, like she might disappear if I moved too fast.
"I don't know if I still have the right to ask for anything from you," I admitted. "But I needed to see you. I needed to know if there's still something left for me to fight for."
The night air felt cold against my skin. For the first time, I wasn't trying to be strong. I was just a guy standing in front of the girl he loved, hoping he hadn't already lost her for good.
“Liam, you can’t just show up here and ask me that question.” Her voice trembled, but she kept her chin lifted. “I’m tired. I’m so tired… and I don’t want to see you anymore.”
She looked straight into my eyes when she said it. And that hurt more than if she had shouted.
I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. I didn’t expect a warm welcome, but hearing her say she didn’t want to see me felt like someone pressing a knife slowly into my heart.
“I’m sorry, Mia,” I said quietly, taking a small step closer even though I knew I had no right. “I know I don’t deserve to just appear in front of you like this. I know I’ve made everything harder for you.”
She didn’t answer. She just stood there, arms wrapped around herself like she needed protection from me.
“I was trying to protect you,” I continued, my voice shaking despite my effort to stay calm. “That’s all I’ve been trying to do. I thought if I stepped back… if I acted like I didn’t care… it would make things easier for you. I thought you wouldn’t get dragged into my mess anymore.”
Her brows furrowed slightly, but she didn’t speak.
“But I was wrong,” I admitted. “Because walking away from you didn’t protect you. It just broke both of us.”
The words spilled out before I could stop them.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Mia. Every single day, every single night. I see you in school and I have to pretend you don’t matter. I hear your name and I act like it doesn’t affect me. I have to stand there and look cold when all I want to do is hold you.”
My hands curled into fists at my sides.
“I’m going crazy,” I confessed, my voice lower now. “Do you know what it feels like to love someone so much and not be allowed to show it? To act like she’s nothing to you when she’s actually the most important girl in your life?”
Her expression changed. For a second, I saw the softness and the pain. The part of her that still cared.
Her eyes glistened, and her lips parted like she was about to say something.
But then I saw it happen as she straightened her shoulders and blinked.
And just like that, the wall came back up.
The softness disappeared, replaced by the same guarded look she’s been wearing ever since I started pushing her away.
The mask.
“You don’t get to say that now,” she said quietly, but her voice was steady again. “You don’t get to act like you’re the only one hurting.”
And I realized Mia wasn’t just tired. She was exhausted from loving me.