Chapter 16

Chapter 16
The next morning we are in our son’s room explaining to him why he was wrong for what he did at the store. Jay and I each sit on the side of him with him in the middle and talk to him about what happened. Jay does most of the talking and he seems to understand that what he did was wrong.
“Now your punishment is that you will not be allowed to watch television for the next two weeks and no playing outside. Do you understand?” He looks at us with such sadness in his eyes and it is almost enough to make me lift his punishment. Then he turns more towards me and just looks at me and I can’t help but gasp. Jay looks at me asking with her eyes what is wrong. Immediately she starts looking around as if she will be able to find the source of my distress. Once I recover from my shock, I tell my son that I love him and kiss his forehead before leaving the room. Jay follows me out and then grabs my arm to get me to stop walking.
“What’s wrong? You seemed fine and then you gasped.” I don’t want to talk about this so close to his bedroom so I motion for her to follow me further down the hall. She follows without question and looks at me in anticipation of what I’m about to say to her.
“Well, when he turned and looked at me, for a split second, I saw Terrence’s face in his features. He has never looked like that man before and for that split second he looked exactly like him. It just took me by surprise. I mean I knew eventually that there would be some resemblance to the man, but secretly I guess I hoped that he would just look like me.”
The look that she gave me told me that she had no idea what to say to make me feel better and the more I thought about it, I realized that I wasn’t angry or sad about seeing his face in my son, in fact, I didn’t feel anything. Well I guess that means something but right now I have no idea what that is so I’ll let it go. I’ll find out if it’s safe to talk to my therapist and if so then I can call her and talk to her about this situation. Neither of us is saying anything so I guess I’ll be the one to break the silence.
“Well that’s one punishment down and one to go. I hate whipping her cause she looks so hurt afterwards but it’s for her own good. She has got to learn that it is not right to hit, especially her own sibling.” We walk to her door and knock once before entering. She is already sitting on her bed looking nervous as we enter. I let out a sigh as I look her in the eyes while Jay takes a seat next to her on the bed.
“Alexa, you know better than to hit people and we’ve talked about this before but obviously you have not learned your lesson. Do you think that we like having to punish you or your brother? Well we don’t like punishing either of you, but it is the only way that you will learn to never make those mistakes again, only it seems that you haven’t learned from the last time that hitting is wrong. Your punishment is a whipping followed by no television, playing outside, or with your toys for two weeks. Do I make myself clear young lady?” She sits there with her eyes watering and then all of a sudden anger seems to cross her features and she hops off the bed.
“I don’t see why you’re making a big deal out of me hitting him. He isn’t my real brother anyway.” Jay and I look at each other in shock and disbelief. She has never gotten out of control like this before so it took us both by surprise. Jay gets off the bed and grabs Alexa by the arm spinning her around.
“Don’t you ever talk to your mother like that again do you understand me! Nicholas is your brother and you are his sister and you will not say anything like that ever again. If I ever hear you talk to any adult the way you just did to me and your mother I swear you won’t be able to sit without a cushion for a week.” I’ve never seen Jay this mad at the kids before and I think I should get involved before this escalates any further.
“Jay I’ll handle it from here, can you go and see about lunch please?” She nods at me and walks towards the door. Once she reaches the door she looks back at the both of us one time before shaking her head and walking out of the room. I turn back towards my daughter and tell her to sit down on the bed so that we can talk. Honestly I don’t think that she is old enough to handle this but since she is acting out I think I should tell her the truth about things.
“Okay sweetie, I think we need to have a little talk. Now why don’t you tell me why you believe Nicholas isn’t your real brother?” We both take a seat on the bed and I wait for her to start talking.
“Well, I know he isn’t my real brother because my friend at school said that her mother told her father that you were raped and that’s how we ended up with Nicholas.” Wow, I was not expecting her to tell me that, and once she tells me who this friend is, her mother and I are going to have words. Grown up conversations should not be talked about in front of children. I sit there in shock waiting for her to keep talking.
“Mama, what is rape?” Oh great, the shock just keeps on coming. I guess I have to tell her something, but what? “Well sweet pea first of all Nicholas is your brother no matter what anyone says do you understand? We are all a family and nothing will change that, but your friend was right about me being raped. I’ll explain it better for you when you’re older, but just know that rape is something that is horrible for a woman to go through and is a crime. The person that committed this crime is locked up for a very long time, but he is Nicholas’ biological father. Do you know what biological means?” These kids know so much more than we did at their ages so I have to ask in order to know whether or not I need to explain. She shakes her head yes.
“Okay, now I guess I should tell you about your past since you’re asking questions. I am not your biological mother.” She gasps and looks as shocked as I did when she asked me about rape.
“Your mother and I were best friends, but she died a few months after you were born in a car accident. Jay and I went to court to get custody of you because your grandparents felt that they were too old to raise you by themselves and your biological father wasn’t able to take care of you. I didn’t plan on telling you any of this until you were older, but now I have no choice. You are my daughter and I love you and your brother Nicholas more than anything in this world. Your other mommy, you, Nicholas, and I are a family and we will always be a family no matter what happens. Do you understand?” Her lip is trembling and I know that she is ready to cry. She has always been a smart girl and sometimes I forget that she is only six because of how well she handles things, but I know that hearing some of this is a lot for her to handle. I pull her into my arms and hold her as her little body begins to shake from crying.
“My real mom died?” I begin to cry with her before answering.
“Yes baby, your real mom died. I miss her every day. When you were a baby I showed you pictures of her all the time so that you wouldn’t forget her and I kept the pictures for when you get older.” She starts sniffling and I raise her face up to me and wipe away her tears with my thumb.
“Are you okay?” She just shakes her head yes. I wipe away my own tears and straighten up, getting back into mommy mode.
“Okay, now just this once, I am going to punish you without a spanking, but if you ever hit your brother again the belt will be coming out. Do you understand me little girl?” She sniffles some more before quickly nodding her head yes.
“Okay. Now go get your brother and head downstairs for lunch.” She walks to the door then stops and turns to look at me.
“I love you mama”, she says smiling at me.
“I love you too baby”, I say right back with a smile on my face. She skips out of the room and down the hall screaming her brothers’ name. I turn and head to my room because I’ve decided to skip lunch. This has been one hell of a morning. Flopping down on my bed, I reach for the remote control and turn the television on the news station for Louisiana. There is a special report saying that Terrence was mysteriously killed in his jail cell this morning. The report continues on saying that the police are investigating the crime and that they have ruled out suicide from the autopsy report. I can’t believe what I am hearing. Someone killed him inside the jail and apparently without anyone knowing. I wonder if it is the same person behind the messages I was getting. Turning off the television I jump off the bed and walk quickly downstairs in search of my wife.