What He's Missing

What He's Missing
Fiona

I run out of the amphitheater entrance and stop to catch my breath. Tears come faster than I expect, running hot down my cheeks, and I try to swallow the lump in my throat before Marcus sees just how upset I truly am. I don’t want to seem too soft or like I come from a more progressive era because I don’t want to blow my cover, but the gladiator games upset me more than I realized they would.

My eyes keep burning as I try to wipe the tears off my face before he catches up to me. The arena still feels too close. I look around, frantic, and all I see are soldiers and civilians, but I can’t shake the feeling that the massive Barbary lion has followed me out here.

I didn’t realize attending the games would affect me so strongly. I’ve read textbooks and firsthand accounts, and I’ve seen all the movies about gladiators—everything from Spartacus to Gladiator II with Paul Mescal—but seeing it up close in real life is completely different. I just got so caught up spending time with Marcus and didn’t even think about it before I agreed to go in there. Feeling the dread of loss, seeing the fear of death in people’s eyes… I couldn’t handle it.

Footsteps slow behind me, and I know Marcus is there before he even speaks. “Fiona, are you all right?” he asks. 

I turn to face him, trying to answer normally, but my voice comes out shaky, anyway. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect to feel this way.”

He steps closer. I can tell from the way his eyes are searching my face that he’s trying to read me, and to figure out what he’s missing. “Was it the violence? The fighting?” he asks. 

“It isn’t just the fighting,” I say. “Marcus, do you realize that if they keep doing this with those animals, some of the species won’t be around much longer?”

Marcus frowns slightly. “What do you mean?”

I hesitate because I can hear how silly it sounds in my head, but I say it anyway. “I mean, they’re destroying them. Hunting them for these games, using them in ways they can’t recover from. The elephants from North Africa, the Barbary lions, the Atlas bears, and the Caspian tigers are all at risk of disappearing.”

For a moment, he doesn’t respond, his handsome sun-bronzed face turning a shade or three paler and his lips pressing into a thin line. And I haven’t even mentioned the horrors and atrocities they do to the human men in those rings. I don’t need to wonder what kind of empathy I would stir in Marcus’s heart if I pointed that out through a modern lens, and I don’t think I have to. I believe he understands.

“I never thought of it that way,” he admits quietly. “Please forgive me for bringing you here, Fiona.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I reply.

“How can I make it up to you?” he asks, taking both my hands in his. “We can go anywhere you want. Just name the place.”

“I’m not familiar enough with your city to know where to go,” I admit. 

In reality, there really isn’t anywhere that sounds enjoyable to me in this era. The bathhouses don’t appeal to me—they seem like a breeding ground for infection. I’ve already been to the tavern with Marcus, and it was a bit too noisy for my liking. Right now, the forum is incredibly busy because of the festival, and I got assaulted in the temple and kicked out of there, so I never want to go back.

We both look around for a moment, the streets still bustling and growing even more crowded as the sun starts to set, light sliding over the carved stone buildings around us. Even now, I’m thinking about the amphitheater and the way I didn’t really understand how massive it is until I was standing right outside. I look up at its walls, carved into the city in that perfect oval, rows stacked into the structure like it was grown out of the ground instead of built on it. And the buildings here still have those upper edges and squared cutouts along the tops. I stare in awe at the details that I’ve only ever seen in ruins and paintings before now.

“Why don’t I take you home and have a proper meal prepared for you before we return to the festival this evening?” Marcus asks. 

It feels like it should be getting close to dinnertime, and I’d really like to see more of Marcus’s beautiful home. “I’d appreciate that,” I reply. “Thank you.”

We walk away from the amphitheater toward his house. In this part of the city, the houses are still well-built but smaller and less ornate than the ones in Marcus’s district. The farther we go, the shabbier they become, and then I start to recognize the neighborhood. When I see the fountain where Flavia and I drew water, I know exactly where we are.

I slow down. “Marcus… would you mind if I stopped here for a moment? I just want to check on some friends. I haven’t seen them since yesterday, and I want to make sure they’re all right.”

He doesn’t question it. “Of course. I’ll come with you.”

We turn down the street I remember. The house is there, and we approach. I hesitate only a second before stepping forward and knocking.

After a moment, the door opens, and Tullia is standing there. Her eyes light up with relief and joy. She steps forward and pulls me into a hug. “Fiona, we were wondering if you would ever come back!” she nearly shouts at me. 

Tullia lets go of me just as I hear a voice from inside. “Is that Fiona?”

A second later, Flavia and Sabina appear in the doorway and rush over, pulling me into a group hug. “Are you all right?” Flavia asks.

“I’m fine,” I tell them, laughing as they finally let go of me. “Let me introduce you to my new friend—this is Marcus. Marcus, these are Tullia, Flavia, and Sabina.”

He inclines his head. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Marcus Valerius.”

Tullia’s face brightens with recognition. “We’ve seen you before—you’re the man with the beautiful dog.”

“The massive, beautiful dog,” Flavia adds.

Sabina steps a little closer, studying him. “Have you been taking good care of our Fiona?” she asks.

Marcus hesitates, clearly unsure how to answer, and Sabina laughs.

“I’m not serious. We can see that you have.”

“Yes,” Tullia adds with a teasing smile. “It’s quite obvious.”

“All right,” I cut in, trying to save him from any more of their taunting. “Leave Marcus alone. We only stopped by to let you know I’m safe—and that I’m in good hands.”

Flavia nods. “We appreciate you bringing her by. Would you mind if we spoke with her alone for a moment?”

“Of course,” Marcus says.

I give him a smile and a wave before letting them pull me inside, the door closing behind us.

Inside the room, Flavia speaks first. “Fiona, we didn’t know where you were—we were terrified! You can’t tell us Vesuvius is going to erupt and then give us nothing else. We didn’t know if we’d ever see you again. Tell us the exact day—when does it happen?” she asks, the words tumbling out in a rush.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to get back here, and I had no idea where you were. August twenty-fourth,” I say. “That’s when it happens.”

“What should we do, Fiona?” Sabina asks. 

“Leave,” I say. “As soon as you can. Just go. Go to Neapolis, Roma, Capua, or Puteoli. Anywhere but here. Take what you can carry—money, valuables, anything sentimental—and get out before the twenty-fourth. If you can leave tonight, even better.”

Flavia looks me in the eye. “You’re certain?”

“Yes,” I say. “I’m certain.”

“We leave tonight,” Tullia says, looking from Flavia to Sabina. Both women nod and begin packing.

“Are you coming with us?” Sabina asks me. 

I glance toward the doorway, my thoughts immediately going to Marcus. “No. I’m staying. I can’t leave yet, but I will get out. I promise.” 

Tullia nods, grabs a satchel, and moves over to her wardrobe. “Fiona, before you leave, let me give you a fresh tunic.”

I take it from her. “Thank you, Tullia,” I say. “I don’t know how I could ever repay all of you.” Holding the fresh, clean tunic in my hands, I think about how I haven’t bathed or changed clothes in far too long. A tear wells up in my eye, and I feel silly for getting emotional over something so small.

“You’ve paid us plenty. You’re saving our lives,” Tullia says, pulling me into another hug.

Flavia and Sabina join us, and the four of us stand there, holding each other—brought together by one secret we share, while the rest of the city remains in the dark.

“I should go,” I say, wiping the tear away. “I’m going to try to get everyone out of the city.”

Flavia squeezes my hand, and I throw the tunic over my shoulder, walking back out the door and closing it behind me. 

I step back outside and see Marcus standing nearby. As I approach, he meets my eyes with a small, questioning look. “Is everything all right?” he asks. 

I nod, smiling. “Yes, everything’s fine.”

“Shall we?” He tilts his head toward the road, grinning.

“Lead the way,” I reply. 

We walk through the rough part of town, past the crumbling buildings and narrow alleys where the air is thick with dust and noise. 

Marcus glances at me. “What shall we have for dinner?”

“You should allow your cook to decide,” I reply. 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Of course you’d say that.”

I give him a teasing look. “I don’t mind as long as I don’t have to choose.” 

Soon, the chaos starts to fade, the noise lessens, the buildings become sturdier, and the air is much cleaner. We’re reaching the nicer part of the city now, where the streets are wider and the houses taller, their gardens neatly kept. 

As we walk, I think about how good it would feel to wash my hair and finally get the last few days of grime off my skin. Then I think about how awkward and embarrassing it would be to ask someone as attractive as Marcus if I could use his bathtub. I need to muster the courage before we get to his house.

“Marcus,” I finally say. “I have a strange question for you.”

“You can ask me anything, Fiona,” he replies. 

“When we arrive… could I bathe?”

He looks over at me at once.

“Of course,” he says easily. “I’ll have Aurelia draw you a bath.”

“Thank you,” I reply, smiling at him. “I genuinely appreciate your hospitality and companionship,” I add, trying not to blush.

“I appreciate your company as well, Fiona. I’ve never met anyone like you,” he replies. 

As his garden comes into view, I can’t help but admire the well-kept bushes, colorful flowers, and the neat rows of plants.

Marcus opens the door, and as we step inside, Felix comes running toward us. I bend down to greet him, scratching behind his ears. Then a woman comes into the room and stops when she sees us. “Welcome home, Dominus,” she says to Marcus.

“Good evening, Aurelia,” Marcus says. “Would you mind drawing a bath for Fiona, please?”

“Of course,” she replies, bowing and motioning for me to follow. 

As I follow Aurelia past the kitchen, I hear Marcus step inside and say, “Callista, please prepare whatever you decide for our dinner tonight. I have a guest, and she has asked that you choose the menu.”

I laugh quietly as Aurelia leads me into the bathing room, where the large tub takes up most of the space. She gestures toward it and back at me. “I’ll be back shortly. I need to fetch water from the well.”

I nod, but as she turns to leave, I feel a sudden impulse to help. I step toward the door, and Aurelia looks at me, a little surprised. 

“I can help carry the water,” I offer.

She pauses and then gives me a smile. “That’s very kind of you. I’d appreciate the help.”

I set Tullia’s clean tunic on the stool near the tub and follow Aurelia outside to the well. We fill two large buckets with water, carrying them back to the bathing room. Then, we repeat our steps until the tub is full. 

When we’re done, Aurelia moves back, looking at me. “Thank you for your help,” she says, her tone warm. 

“No, thank you,” I say. 

“Here are some oils and perfumed salts,” she says, handing me a small clay jar and a cloth. “I’ll leave you to your bath.”

I nod, grateful for her help, and she heads for the door, leaving me alone to bathe. The water is warm, thanks to the hypocaust system Marcus is rich enough to have in his home, and I sigh as I lower myself into the tub. It's nothing like the hot showers I’m used to back home, but it's still a relief. I sink deeper, feeling the culture shock of the last few days begin to lift as I let the water soothe my tired body.

I scrub away the dirt and sweat of Pompeii’s streets. With each movement, the water grows clouded with grime. 

I close my eyes for a moment, the sound of the water lapping against the sides of the tub calming my racing thoughts. I can’t believe I’m still here. I’m still stuck in a world that isn’t mine—a city that’s destined for tragedy. 

I step out, dry off with the towel Aurelia left for me, and slip into the tunic. Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the bronze mirror on the wall to braid my hair.

Now, I have to face Marcus over dinner, and I dread what I have to tell him. I need to convince him that Vesuvius is going to erupt, and he has the power and connections to help save lives. Together, we could make a difference, but how do I bring it up without the risk of sounding insane?