Envy and Regret

Envy and Regret
Fiona

Marcus disappears into the crowd with his dog, Felix, trotting obediently at his side, and I feel a flutter in my chest that I try, and fail, to ignore. Flavia elbows me lightly in the ribs. “Well?” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “That rich man seems quite taken with you, doesn’t he?”

I flush, looking down at my hands. “I—he’s just being polite.” 

Sabina laughs, shaking her head. “Polite? He practically tripped over himself to talk to you!”

Tullia grins, linking her arm with mine. “You’re blushing, Fiona. This is new.”

“I am not!” I protest, though the warmth in my cheeks says otherwise. “He’s just… he’s very nice, that’s all.”

The three of them exchange knowing looks, clearly unconvinced, but they let the topic drop, and we wander deeper into the festival. The sun is disappearing, throwing amber light across the square. Jugglers flip and toss objects, musicians play happy tunes, and the scent of several varieties of foods—everything from lamb to mulsum—wafts through the air. I let myself relax for a moment, savoring the joy all around me.

“This is incredible,” Flavia says, pointing to the dancers. “I could watch this all night.”

“I know,” I say quietly, taking in the performance. My thoughts drift back to Marcus, though, and his gorgeous smile. I think of the way he spoke to me like I was more than just a passing stranger, and shake my head, wondering why he chose me out of all the beautiful women here. It’s probably just the color of my hair, but whatever caught his attention, I’ll take it. 

Sabina buys a basket of candied fruit. “Come on, Fiona! You can’t let us eat these without you.”

I take a bite of a sugary-sweet fig. ‘Thank you,’ I murmur, savoring the taste.

We stroll among the stalls, and Tullia barters for a small trinket shaped like a wolf while Flavia persuades a vendor to let her sample a pastry before she buys it. I follow along, smiling. I’ve read every account and studied every map of this city—but walking the streets and seeing the festival alive around me is unlike anything I ever could’ve imagined.

After we’ve sampled many different types of food, listened to the band, and watched three groups of dancers, Flavia looks at me. “Fiona,” she says, “we hate to leave you, but we’re heading to work. The festival brings more men—more customers. You could make a few coins yourself if you go with us, you know.”

I stiffen, my stomach flipping over at the mention of selling my body. “I… I’m so sorry, but I can’t.” 

Tullia rests a hand on my shoulder. “It’s all right, Fiona. We understand.”

I nod, fighting back tears. My heart aches with the guilt of depending on them, the fear of having to do what they have to do to survive, and the memory of everything I’ve lost. “I’ll try to find work elsewhere,” I promise.

“We know you will. Don’t worry. We’ll see you soon, Fiona,” Flavia says. 

“Goodbye,” I manage, my throat tight as they slip into the deepening twilight, swallowed by the festival lights and the shadows beyond.

I stand there long after they vanish, the warmth leaving my cheeks and cold settling in my bones. I cover my eyes with my hands, trying not to cry, trying not to let the fear and sorrow overwhelm me. The laughter, the music, the festival all feel distant now, and I feel completely alone.

Taking a deep breath, I force myself to think clearly. There has to be a way for me to earn some money. Even though there aren’t many jobs for women in this time, there must be something I can do without selling myself. Maybe the man I met earlier, Marcus, would be willing to help me find work. He seems kind, and he’s clearly a high-ranking and wealthy man. If I could find a task to do for him, I might be able to repay Flavia, Sabina, and Tullia for their hospitality and everything they’ve shared with me. 

I move through the crowd, scanning the square for Marcus. I look around the forum at each person moving through the square—a living echo of the past I’ve studied. I’m so thankful I chose to learn their ancient language so I can understand the lyrics of each song and the playful chatter of the children running past me. A pang of helplessness strikes me. So many of these people will die if no one warns them before the mountain erupts. 

I wander over to a large crowd watching a religious ceremony. The priestesses are honoring Venus and Jupiter, their voices rising in a haunting chant: “Prosperitas et abundantia, dona nobis, dii!” For prosperity and abundance, they pray. It’s frustrating and upsetting to know how little time they have left.

Marcus. He’s attending to the priestesses in a way that clearly matters, and I pause to watch him for a moment. He’s serious, engaged, and I can tell he notices everything. Even from a distance, it’s clear how focused he is and how much he cares about his work. As he bends to lift an altar off the ground, moving it to the other side of the platform, he radiates confident masculine energy, and his dark hair and eyes are just… dreamy.

Embarrassment overwhelms me when he looks my way and catches me watching him. My face heats up, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He smiles warmly, and a thrill runs through me. He waves and motions for me to stay where I am, and that he’ll be over in a moment. I wait until he steps aside from the ceremonial duties and makes his way toward me. 

As Marcus walks over, I try to remind myself not to say anything too forward or flirtatious. This man is from two thousand years in my past, and yet, I’m so attracted to him that when he smiles, I almost forget everything I was just telling myself.

“Fiona, thank you for waiting,” he says.

“Of course,” I reply. “I know you’re working, and I know you’re busy, but… I was wondering if I could speak with you somewhere more private?”

He glances toward the ceremonial crowd and then back at me. “I’m almost done with my work for the night. Once I finish here, would you like to join me for a late dinner at the tavern?”

“Yes,” I manage to say. I can feel the tension draining, replaced by anticipation. “I’d like that very much. Thank you.” 

He nods. “Wait here. I’ll return as soon as I finish.”

I smile and nod, and he walks back toward the ceremony, Felix at his heels. I sit down on the nearby temple steps, trying to figure out what I will say to this incredibly sexy man from ancient Pompeii over dinner. 

A little while later, Marcus and Felix return. “We’ll drop my dog off at my house before heading to the tavern,” he says. 

“Perfect,” I reply, and the three of us start walking through the dark streets. The festival fades behind us, and I can’t stop sneaking glances at Marcus.

When we arrive at his house, I’m awestruck by its beauty. From the courtyard, I can see the elegant, structured lines I’ve only ever known as ruins and debris beneath layers of ash. It’s a strange place to stand, balanced between envy and regret. He is clearly a very wealthy man, living in a luxurious home, and I find myself envying the mosaic tiles beneath my feet, the fountain, the fruit trees and bushes, and the flower gardens. Yet, the feeling is quickly swallowed by grief, knowing that soon, all of it will be buried.

Marcus opens the door, pauses at the threshold, and calls into the house, “Aurelia?”

A moment later, a servant girl appears in the doorway, an oil lamp in her hand. 

“Please take Felix inside,” Marcus says. “And make sure he’s fed.”

“Yes, Dominus,” she replies, bending to usher the dog inside before disappearing back through the doorway.

Marcus turns back to me once the door closes. “Are you ready?” he asks.

“I am,” I reply.

He smiles. “Are you hungry?”

“I am very hungry,” I say, and this time I don’t bother to try to hide my grin.

“Good,” he says, gesturing toward the street. “Come. The tavern isn’t far.”

We head back into the street together, the distant sounds of the festival still echoing through the night. When we reach the tavern and step inside, the shift is immediate—cool night air is replaced by smoke from the hearth and the noise of the crowded room. Tables are packed close together, people leaning in to talk to one another while servers move quickly between them, balancing trays of food and wine as they go. 

Marcus guides me through the room with an ease that tells me he’s a regular here. Finally, we find an open table near the back. He gestures for me to sit, and I lower myself onto the chair across from him. 

A barmaid approaches, wiping her hands on her apron. “What can I bring you, Dominus?”

Marcus orders for both of us. “Please bring us lamb, bread, cheese, and your finest wine.“

She nods. “I’ll bring it shortly.”

As she disappears into the crowd, he turns his attention back to me, studying me in a way that makes my heartbeat speed up. “Earlier today you said you were from the north,” he says. “What part?”

I hesitate, choosing my words carefully. I can’t tell him too much, but I don’t want to lie to him, either. “Farther than most people from here have ever traveled,” I say at last. “Beyond Rome. It’s much colder there.” 

His brow lifts, intrigued. “And what brings you all the way to Italia?”

“Curiosity,” I say, smiling. “I wanted to see more of the world.”

“That is not something many women can afford to do alone,” he says, though there’s no judgment in his tone—only interest.

“I wasn’t alone at first, but I’ve learned to manage,” I reply.

“I believe that.” He gives me an encouraging nod. 

The barmaid returns, setting down cups of honeyed wine and a platter of food between us. 

Marcus thanks her and gestures to the food. “Let’s eat.”

I don’t need to be told twice. I tear off a piece of bread, trying to keep my manners in check as I take a bite. 

“You travel far, manage on your own, and yet you say very little about yourself,” he says, watching me over the rim of his cup. I swallow, meeting his gaze. “Should I be worried?”

“Only if you think I look dangerous.”

He smiles at that, unmistakably amused. “Not dangerous,” he says. “But definitely very interesting.”

Another blush creeps into my cheeks, and I look down into my wineglass. For a moment, the noise of the tavern wraps around us while I muster the courage, trying to find the words I came here for.

“Marcus,” I begin, “I was actually hoping to ask you something rather important.”

He looks up immediately. “Of course.”

“I was wondering if you might know of any work I could do… just for a few days. Enough to earn a little money.”

He leans back in his chair, considering my request. “Are you traveling through and have simply run out of coin?”

“Yes,” I say, grateful for the simplicity of the inquiry. “That’s exactly it.”

Marcus stares into my eyes for a moment before he asks, “I don’t mean to pry, and I ask only out of concern, but do you have somewhere to stay tonight, Fiona?”

I realize I don’t actually know where my friends are right now or how I’d even find my way back to their room from here without them. The thought stings, and I have no choice but to admit the truth. I shake my head. “No… I don’t have anywhere to stay tonight.”

The admission leaves me exposed in a way I can’t take back, and I brace myself for his reaction. 

“Don’t worry,” he says, a soft kindness in his voice. “We’ll figure something out.”

I look at him with gratitude in my heart. The people of this city are different. They’re warm, caring, accepting of strangers, and most of all, they deserve a chance to live long, happy, and peaceful lives. I’ve got to find a way to save them—especially him.