Chapter 16

At the award ceremony, Brynn stood on the podium with a second-place medal around her neck. She tingled from head to toe with happiness. The joy lessened the pain of her bruises. A silly grin had to be plastered on her face. She didn’t care.

As a crowd gathered around, she searched for Ry. She wanted to thank him for his help. Just knowing he was here made this experience a thousand times better.

“I can’t believe we came in first and second.” Lila glowed from atop the podium. She shimmied her shoulders as if ready to break out in a dance.

Brynn didn’t blame her. She would join in if she wasn’t worried it would hurt too much. But bouncing at the knees felt okay. “Believe it.”

Photographers snapped pictures. The three top finishers struck poses. People cheered.

Her mom stood in the crowd with her cell phone out in front of her as if taking videos or pictures. Coach was to Brynn’s left with the rest of the staff, including Dr. Wu, who took a picture. Her teammates photobombed each other’s selfies. Typical award ceremony.

Seeing everyone so happy left Brynn breathless. She didn’t want this to end. As she relished the moment, laughter bubbled over. One thing was missing—Ry.

She scanned the crowd again. He had to be here, but where?

The ceremony ended with more hugs before she climbed down from the platform to be surrounded by media.

“Brynn.” A female reporter from a skiing website stepped forward. “How does it feel to make such a strong comeback?”

“I’m thrilled to have placed in the giant slalom with my teammate Lila Raines.” Brynn hadn’t had much press coverage since December, other than negative reports, but she didn’t miss a beat in answering. “I’m grateful to Dr. Daniel Wu and the entire team staff for taking such great care of me after my fall in the super G so I could race today.”

You’ve got this.

And she did.

Because of Ry.

Her heart filled with love for him.

Love.

Oh, my. She’d fallen in love with him, fallen hard and fast in only a few days.

Love, not gratitude. Though she was grateful to him. This was so much more.

I love him.

The realization should scare her.

But it didn’t.

She trusted him. He’d helped her focus, heal, and find her smile again.

How could she not fall in love with him?

But he doesn’t want a relationship.

Yes, but they’d never expected to meet and connect the way they had. People changed their minds.

He had goals.

Brynn would never stand in the way of his dreams. She wanted to support him the way he had her. Together they were better, stronger, faster. She had no doubt about that.

Hope battled logic.

Point, counterpoint.

Brynn knew which she wanted to win. Ry leaving Sun Valley didn’t mean things had to end. He’d found her a place to live in Portland. That had to mean he wanted to spend more time with her.

Anticipation surged. She wanted to see where things could go with Ry away from the competition and the team.

Just the two of them.

In Portland.

After pulling out a second place today with all she’d been through since December, anything was possible. She believed that wholeheartedly.

Brynn answered more questions for reporters and posed for pictures with fans. As the crowd thinned, she saw Ry standing off to the side and hurried over to him.

“I’ve been wondering where you were.” She wrapped her arms around him. Every part of her body was covered except her neck and face. Him, too, but his warmth still blanketed her. She brushed her lips across his. “I can’t thank you enough for everything. But tonight, I’ll try.”

“About that…”

His tone was harsher than Brynn would have expected given the circumstances. She realized his arms weren’t around her. He stood ramrod straight.

A shiver ran along her spine.

What was going on?

Confused, her muscles tensed, making her bruises hurt more. She stepped away from him. “About what?”

“I’m flying home in a couple of hours.”

“Oh.” The word burst out. “I thought you weren’t leaving until Monday.”

“Something came up.” His gaze met hers before he stared off in the distance. “This will give you more time with your mom.”

No apology for canceling tonight. No rain check. Nothing, but mentioning her mom. That didn’t make sense. Had Brynn imagined the connection between them? Their kisses? His asking her to come to Portland?

No, she didn’t think she had. Unless she was unconscious in the hospital, and the last three days had been a dream. Brynn blinked.

Ry was still standing there. Only this time, he wouldn’t look at her.

Brynn took a breath, hoping to calm herself and not hunch like a hundred pounds had been added to each of her shoulders. That wouldn’t be fair to Ry. He’d been behind her one hundred percent. She needed to be as supportive of his leaving, even if she didn’t understand why.

“I’m sorry you have to leave early.” Brynn waited for him to say me, too, but he didn’t.

After holding her feelings in and ruining her season, she wasn’t about to do that again. She couldn’t let Ry leave without telling him how she felt. Even if he might not want to hear what she had to say.

I’ve sworn off women, remember?

Brynn doubted she would ever forget that, but nothing would stop her. After taking a breath to muster her courage, she exhaled slowly.

“You’ve come to mean a lot to me this week.” She kept her tone steady, but her insides trembled. “Without you, I wouldn’t be wearing this medal.”

“That was all you up there.”

“Thanks to your help.” With a gloved hand, she touched the medal, a talisman of strength she hoped to draw from. “I know your focus is on recovering and training, but I’m looking forward to seeing you in Portland.”

“You can stay at Henry’s for however long you need, but I might not be around.”

Wait, what? She clutched the medal. “Are you going to be traveling?”

“Maybe.” His tone was evasive. “Who knows what will happen?”

She stared at him in disbelief, not recognizing the man in front of her.

He angled his shoulders away from her. “Well, I guess this is it.”

It? Did he mean goodbye? “I don’t understand what’s happening. Last night…”

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” He spoke fast as if he couldn’t hold back any longer. “Nothing personal.”

“You told me that.”

“Yes, but I may have led you to believe I wanted more with you when I don’t.”

Her heart banged so loudly she was sure everyone on the mountain could hear it. She forced herself to breathe before she passed out. “Does that mean you no longer want me in Portland?”

“You need a place to go.”

Her heart sank to her feet. Splat. He didn’t want her there. He was offering charity out of pity or maybe guilt over what happened five years ago even though she’d forgiven him.

Brynn wanted no part of that. She raised her chin. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry, but this is for the best.”

“What?” she asked, her tone confused. “How is you doing a one-eighty from last night for the best?”

He shifted his weight from one boot to the other. “You deserve better than a guy like me who is only focused on himself. You need someone who can put you first. Make you his priority.”

“No.” She shook her head as if to emphasize the point. “You aren’t allowed to make this about me when this decision is all about what you want. That’s what my mom did. I’m not letting you do the same.”

“You’re right,” he agreed finally. “I’m sorry.”

She released the breath she’d been holding. “In case you didn’t realize it, all those things you say I deserve, you did this week.”

“Only because Coach Frederick asked me.” Ry stared past her as if she was invisible. “If it were up to me…”

What he said sliced into her like a knife, cutting deep.

“You’re an amazing skier. A great kisser. Fun to hang out with, but I need to get back to my life,” he continued. “I told you what I’ve been doing, what I want and don’t want.”

He had. “2022.”

Ry repeated the year.

Still, Brynn didn’t want to give up. She hadn’t let herself imagine a wedding or children, but she could picture a future together. A wonderful future full of possibilities. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have more.”

“Skiing is all I need.”

He didn’t need her. No one did.

She wanted to cry, but she tried to remain calm.

“I would never get in the way of your skiing. The way you wouldn’t with mine.” She forced herself to continue. “You can deny it all you want, but there’s something between us.”

“A vacation romance, that’s all.”

No, I love you.

A mitten-sized lump burned in her throat. She swallowed around it. “We aren’t on a vacation.”

He blew out a breath. “I’m not trying to hurt you. Just being honest before I leave. Since I’ve been here, I forgot what I need to be doing for myself.”

She didn’t want to believe him. Ry had acted like he was into her. Cared for her. Wanted her. Everyone else had thought so, too.

“Okay, but are you being honest with yourself?” Her voice cracked, but she kept going. “This past week has been special. I felt it. So did you.”

“We were caught up in the moment. Both of us for different reasons. It wasn’t anything special.”

Fighting the heartache threatening to overwhelm her, she stared down her nose. “You’re lying.”

He flinched. “Just being selfish. A character trait of mine. Some call it a flaw.”

“You’ve done so much for me, but something happened between last night and today. You changed.” She waited for him to disagree, but he didn’t so she continued on. “The Ry I fell for is gone. The old Ry-Guy has returned in his place.”

Ry stiffened. “He may have been here all along.”

Brynn hated what that implied, but she couldn’t pretend he hadn’t said it. Her mom had been right to warn her about Ryland Guyer. “Then you’re correct. I do deserve better. Good luck with your skiing.”

Turning away, she let go of the medal.

Whatever they’d had was over before it began.

Her heart splintered. As sharp shards poked at her chest, she made her feet trudge forward.

One step. Two steps.

Up ahead, she made eye contact with Coach and forced a smile. At least the skill she’d perfected the past three months would come in handy today.

He waved. “They want to take a quick video for the team’s Facebook page.”

Brynn kept a smile on her face when all she wanted to do was cry, even if Ry didn’t deserve her tears. “Sure.”

“You skied a near-perfect run today. Very proud of you, Brynn.” Affection filled his gaze. “And that’s not just your coach talking.”

“Thanks. That means everything to me.” Tears, a mix of happy and sad ones, stung her eyes. “Given my performance this season, I don’t want to put you or the other coaches in an awkward position because we’re, um, related, when I don’t deserve a discretion spot. I didn’t earn one. I understand you have to do what’s best for the team, and it’s okay. No hard feelings.”

The regret on his face confirmed the truth—she wouldn’t be on the team when the nominations announcement was made. “I appreciate that, and I’m sorry.”

Brynn kept her chin up. “Other skiers have made it back on the team. I’ll keep training. I’m not giving up.”

“You better not.” His gaze locked on hers. “I can help you in the off-season.”

Not trusting her voice, she nodded. If only things could have worked out like that with Ry…

Coach peered over her shoulder. “Where’s Guyer going?”

She cleared her throat. “Home to Portland.”

Deep lines formed a V between Coach’s eyebrows. “I thought you and he were—”

“Ry did what you asked.” Brynn didn’t want to talk about this, or she might lose it. “He helped me regain my focus. Got me through the races. That’s all he was here for.”

Unless she counted filling her with hope, making her fall in love with him, and then breaking Brynn’s heart by not wanting to see her again.

“Are you sure about that?” Coach sounded surprised.

She nodded. “Skiing is all he needs. Wants.”

Not me.

His loss.

Thinking that, however true, didn’t make her feel better. If anything, her heart hurt more.

“What do you want?” Coach asked.

“Someone who wants me.”

“You’ve got that.” Coach shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “Your mom and I… We have things to work through, but we will. We’re here for you. Never doubt that.”

The words were a soothing balm, but only a momentary respite from her pain. She’d lost so much, but that was no one’s fault but her own. Both with her spot on the team and Ry. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

“Team dinner,” he reminded her.

Another nod, even though a big, boisterous dinner was the last place she wanted to be tonight. All the people she knew and loved would no longer be her teammates. And Ry…

Brynn blinked to keep the tears at bay. Forget going to the dinner. She could beg off because of her injuries. Besides, there was only one thing she wanted to eat tonight—cookie dough. Lots of it.

Eating her favorite treat wouldn’t put the pieces of her heart together again. Unfortunately, Brynn wasn’t sure what would. But she figured it couldn’t hurt.