Chapter 15

Focus. Fast. Finish.

Not exactly what Ry had told Brynn last night after they’d kissed goodnight, but that had become her mantra. She touched her lips, a reminder of his kiss, of him. Her crush had exploded into something more. Each time she repeated or thought the words, Ry occupied a bigger piece of her heart. That wasn’t a distraction; it was a comfort.

The mantra kept her going through her first run of the day. Brynn finished, which was a huge accomplishment given her injuries. Her time wasn’t good enough. She needed to go faster and complete the course. Imagining Ry’s smile calmed her nerves. She could do this.

Focus. Fast. Finish.

Riding the ski lift for her second run of the giant slalom, Brynn repeated the three words. The wind hit her. Snowflakes pricked her cheeks like tiny pins. She covered her face with a scarf and mouthed the mantra.

In the warming hut, Brynn muttered the three words again. Standing outside waiting to race, she repeated them again. She kept on her jacket and pants to stay warm.

Focus. Fast. Finish.

Wes rubbed Lila’s arms and shoulders, and Coach Tolliver offered last-minute advice. Lila skied first.

You’ve got this.

Tingles erupted, followed by a rush of satisfaction. Confidence filled Brynn. Thanks to Ry. The old Ry-Guy might be gone, but the new Ry had brought back the old Brynn.

Confident.

Driven.

Fearless.

She wouldn’t let secrets and setbacks stop her. No settling. Her brothers would freak when they learned about their parents’ split. Part of her wanted to warn Jax and Ace—to tell them about her real father—but they needed to hear the story from their mother. Even though her problems weren’t resolved, and wouldn’t be for a while, she no longer would allow family secrets to haunt her on the slopes.

With Ry’s help, she’d overcome what was holding her back. They worked well together. Brynn wished she could help him accomplish his goal of winning the gold in 2022. Maybe if she went to Portland she could, but that wasn’t something to think about now.

She focused on her breathing and what she would be doing shortly.

“Ready?” Wes asked.

“Yes.” Her voice was strong, matching the way she felt. “Lila, Regina, and Ella have the three fastest times. I’ll catch them.”

“You can do it.”

Brynn nodded.

I’ve got this.

She did.

And she knew the reason—Ryland Guyer.

He’d rallied around Brynn and supported her as if she’d been a longtime friend, not just a teammate who had ignored and avoided him. For that, she’d be forever grateful.

Grateful for him not giving up on her. Grateful for him making her open up and trust him. Grateful for him treating her so special, like she was the only woman in the world.

Keeping the secret was no longer an issue. The weight was no longer hers to bear. Her mother and her father were watching this race. That had never happened before.

Brynn swung her arms and stomped her feet. The movement sent a slash of pain through her but kept the blood flowing so she stayed warm.

Focus. Fast. Finish.

She didn’t want to let Ry down.

Or herself.

She reviewed the line she would take down the course, skiing the race in her mind.

“You’re coming up, Windham,” Coach Tolliver said.

Brynn removed her jacket and pants. Her bruises hurt, but this wouldn’t take long.

“The course is in better shape this afternoon. The wind’s died down. Mother Nature’s on your side for this run.”

She gave a nod and wiggled her shoulders, eager to race.

“Number twenty-eight,” an official called.

Brynn stepped up to the starting gate. She breathed through her nose and exhaled through her mouth.

Beeps sounded.

Once. Twice.

And she was off.

♥ ♥ ♥

Ry stood at the bottom of the giant slalom course with Chas, Taylor, and Sam. Deanna Windham watched with the other team parents. His heart pounded as if he were on the course himself.

Brynn appeared on the big screen.

He grinned. “That’s my girl.”

Chas stood next to him. “Still not into her, huh?”

“Just being supportive.”

He shook his head. “Taylor’s right. Ry-Guy’s found himself a girlfriend.”

Ry enjoyed spending time with Brynn. Liked kissing her. He’d worried when she’d been hurt. Last night with her had been amazing. That didn’t mean she was the one for him or vice versa. After what she’d been through with her family, she needed to be put first. He wasn’t sure he could make her the priority she needed to be. Not with trying to make a comeback and compete at the highest level. “Dude—”

“Shhh.” Taylor stood in front of them. “Watch the race.”

“Great turn,” Chas cheered. “Her skis are dialed in.”

“She’s having a fast run.” Ry studied the windsock. Flat. No wind. “The conditions are perfect.”

Taylor squealed. “Brynn’s split is better than this morning’s.”

This season, Brynn had nailed the tops of courses but ran into trouble on the bottom. He hoped not today.

“Looking good.” Ry glanced at the clock. “She’s got a shot at beating Ella’s time.”

“Regina’s, too,” Chas said.

Brynn skied into view, flying down the course with precision and control. Her perseverance and tenacity left him in awe.

“Wow.” Taylor’s one word summed up the run. “Brynn is back.”

No kidding. Seeing her succeed filled him with satisfaction. He balled his hands as if that could make her go faster. “Go, baby.”

As Brynn raced toward the finish line, the atmosphere electrified with cowbells and cheers. Flags waved.

Just a few more gates.

Ry couldn’t breathe. He wanted Brynn to win more than he’d ever wanted to win himself. He’d never felt this way watching another skier. Was this because he wasn’t competing? Or would he feel this way if he were?

Brynn crossed the finish line and threw her hands, poles still attached, in the air.

“Second place.” Taylor jumped up and down. “Brynn’s in second place behind Lila!”

“Brynn nailed it,” Chas said.

Happiness flowed through Ry. He’d gotten Brynn back on track. But suddenly that wasn’t enough. This felt…unfinished. Yet he wasn’t in a position for more, was he?

Lila, who was in first place, hugged Brynn. The two roommates laughed. Coach gave Brynn a high five. A gold-medal smile formed on her face. She searched the crowd.

“She must be trying to find her mom,” Ry said, unsure where Deanna was in the crowd.

“Brynn’s looking for you,” Taylor and Chas said at the same time.

Why? Brynn didn’t need to share her moment with him. She should enjoy the attention and make the most of her placing on the podium.

“Don’t appear so shocked.” Chas laughed. “You stayed with her at the hospital, flew her mom in from the East Coast, and surprised her with a private dinner last night. Of course, she wants to celebrate with you. You also earned a ton of bonus points with the coaches for helping her.”

Ry’s throat constricted. He may have started out helping Brynn for the team and to redeem himself, but that wasn’t why he’d stayed with her or asked her mom to come or invited Brynn to dinner. He’d done those things because seeing her happy pleased him. He wanted to do whatever he could to make sure her smile didn’t disappear again.

He hadn’t done that for another woman since Pippa.

Had Henry been correct? Ry gulped.

Doubts assailed him. He’d kept his heart off-limits for a reason. It was one way to control something when everything else in his life seemed so random and up to chance. He’d succeeded until arriving in Sun Valley and meeting Brynn again. He hadn’t been able to stop her from getting close. He hadn’t wanted to.

Impenetrable?

With a smile, Brynn had demolished the carefully constructed wall around his heart.

The sparkle had returned in her eyes, and he’d played a part in that. A big part.

His heart pounded like a drum. Their days together replayed in his mind from handing her a coffee on Monday in the cafeteria to kissing in the hallway last night.

Good times. Okay, great ones with the possibility of more.

Except he wasn’t ready for a future with her. Not the kind with him comprising one half of a couple. That was waiting for him after Beijing along with a job at Guyer Gear. A conversation that had played in his mind.

How about after the giant slalom on Sunday we can share some cookie dough and a few kisses?

Best invitation I’ve had in a long time.

Since you swore off women?

Women.

A weight pressed against his chest as if the entire team had piled on top of him. He’d told her that, yet he’d sent mixed messages. Ones he hadn’t fully comprehended.

Doubts filled his mind about what he wanted from her.

Oh, man. He’d asked her to come to Portland. His blood ran cold.

Chas gave him a nudge. “Brynn’s waiting for you.”

Ignoring his uncertainty, Ry flashed her a thumbs-up sign.

Emotions swirled inside him like a tornado. His confusion, however, made zero sense.

Because…

Nothing had changed. Not really.

He knew what he wanted.

Since being injured, his goals had been driving him. He had three more years to go. He couldn’t give up now.

Ry’s chest tightened.

What was he doing thinking about Brynn as anything more than a friend? His plans didn’t leave room for dating, let alone a serious girlfriend. He’d spent too much time putting himself back together after his injury and subsequent self-destruction. He couldn’t afford the distraction of a relationship. If he got involved with Brynn, he was taking a chance of falling apart again if something went wrong, if she got hurt again, or left him the way Pippa had.

The thought of either of those things happening paralyzed him.

And that was a problem. A big one.

Nothing could stand in his way of winning a gold medal in Beijing.

Nothing.

Including…love.