Chapter 27

Micah POV

All I ever wanted was right in front of me but I couldn't do anything other than let it go. Am I cursed to never have my own happy ending?

No I cannot start thinking like that yet. I hope Alyssa will forgive me when I am through with chemo, she can't forget all our years of friendship like that. "The same friendship you just spat on and walked all over," My mind brought up.

Oh God, I started chanting in my head, "It is for her own good," because that is the only thing that is preventing me from picking up the phone to call her, apologize and set things straight. Or better yet, go to her house and confess my undying love for her, face to face then kiss her.

I wish it was possible but it is not. At least not yet.

“Micah, what is wrong. “My mother asks as she came into my room and dropped the laundry basket down then started fussing about me. “Is it your migraine? Are you having one now? Where did you keep your meds? Have you taken your dosage for today? "

“Mom, stop hovering around me, it gets suffocating.” I said as I sat up in my bed.

“What is wrong?”

“Certainly not my migraines.” I replied unwilling to tell my mother what happened in school today.

“Then what is it.” she asked softly and when I didn't reply, she continued "Please, stop shutting us out, we are your family. I know that you don't like to share your problems, you like to protect everyone and you don't want to trouble us but you cannot do everything on your own. You cannot solve everything, you need help then come to us, and we are your family. "

“What makes you think that I didn't go to dad?” I asked her with my eyebrows raised.

“Honey, this is me you are talking to. I have been married to that man for almost twenty years, I know your father strong traits and weak ones. Solving problems not relating to business is not anywhere near his traits. If you had brought it up to him, he would have had me on the phone to ask what he should do. “My mother said with snort.

“True.” I said as I shrugged. That is my dad for you. He is a great guy when it comes to business but anything with emotions and the rest, he will be worse than a robot unless my mother was there and even then, he still freeze up and stumbles over his words.

“So what's up?” My mother asks me.

“I hate myself.” I groaned as I covered my eyes with my hands.

“What happened. " she asks as she came closer to me and sat on my bed.

“I insulted Alyssa, she likes me mom.” I said as a look of torture cross my face.

“How does she liking you have to do with you insulting her. “My mother asked baffled. Then I remembered. She is not aware about the little crush I had on her.

“I love Alyssa, mom.” I said plainly.

“So, honey, you love Alyssa like a friend what is wrong with that, if you had to set her straight there is no reason why you feel bad. You always do it to other girls, is it because you are close to her? “My mother asks completely missing the point.

“I love Alyssa. More than a friend. “I explained but she still looks at me weirdly.

“What is wrong with loving her like a sister, God knows that she is more like a sister to you than your own real sister.”

" I love Alyssa like, I want to grow old with her, I want to marry her and I want her to have my children, I see red when she dates other guys because I feel like that is my position and she is just going to give it to those people who would not be permanent in her life. Alyssa is the one for me mom. No other will do. “I ranted in an impassioned speech as my mother stared at me then us sat side by side in quietness.

“So since when have you been in love with Alyssa. “She quietly asks.

“Since I was thirteen.” I replied with a wry smile.

“That was about five years ago. That is why you did not date girls often. “My mother connected as I nodded then she asked me a question that I never expected. “Are you a virgin? "

I stared at her in shock but she acted like it was normal to ask your eighteen year old son if he was still a virgin.

“Well are you?”

“Mother.” I yelled at her as my cheeks felt heated, I didn't need a mirror to know that I was blushing like mad.

“What. It is just a question. “She defended.

“Yes, one I chose not to answer.” I replied. So I am not a virgin, I am just a little inexperienced, I just decided to wait before I gained more knowledge in that particular field since I am too selective when it comes to things or people in my life.

“Okay " my mother conceded.

“Then why did you ask.” I said curiously, I wanted to know why she would ask such a question, so what, sue me. I know that since I refuse to answer the topic should die down but I want to know what her mind is thinking.

“You said that you insulted her and you loved her for a very long time. I am just thinking that you might have been afraid or you didn't know how to express yourself. “She said with shrug.

“I know how to express myself and I am never afraid of girls.” I said with an angry expression on my face.

“Okay, okay, calm down. “My mother soothed “I don't understand why you didn't just hug her and ride off into the sunset together.”

“Because of my surgery. I cannot tell her I love her only for her to lose both the person she loves and her best friend at once, So it is better if I make her hate me as a friend so that then she won't be feel too much when she discovered that I am gone. “I said to my mother then she hits me across the head. “Ow, what is that for. "

“You, not believing in your survival. “She said angrily. “Micah Vegas, you will survive and then you will feel sorry for pushing away those who are loyal to you. “Then she storm out of the room angrily. I guess that I should not have said that.

But I really wish I share their faith.