Chapter 84 CHAPTER 088
Amelia POV:
"Linc." I say, our foreheads touching, we are breathing harshly, I can't catch my breath, even as I go through the motions, I feel dazed.
The kiss is like a direct jolt to the brain. I feel it acutely, and it leaves me hungry for more. I have missed him so much. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone this ardently. To yearn for him this acutely even though I have him right here with me. I can't get enough.
I thought I longed for him badly that summer we first met and he was my mother's brand new husband. I thought that was the worse of it. Because it was taboo that could never be breached then. But now that we have crossed that line and I know what it felt like, how magical it could be between us. The yearning I feel for him now, it unravels me. It is intense. My body trembles with the power of it.
"I missed you. So much." I whisper into the quiet. The closest admission I can voice without crossing all the lines.
I shut my eyes tight, feel his hold on me, savour the moment. My chest feels light and I could cry.
"I missed you terribly. I thought I would go mad." He says and my heart misses a beat.
I open my eyes to see him watching me with his usual intensity. My heart starts beating crazily, like it could tear right out of my chest.
I lean down and take his mouth. There is nothing else to do in this moment. I kiss him gently. He allows me. He follows my lead, I kiss him like a confession, I pour my heart into the tenderness of it. When I slip my tongue inside his mouth, I moan quietly with the ecstasy of being this intimate with him.
Our tongues lap at eachother lazily, still reeling from the intensity of the first time. We silently agree to savour the kiss this time. I can't help myself, I move my hips against his crotch, his bulge pushes against me and I move even more boldly. His hold on my waist tightens, his tongue stills for a second, I persist, taking control of the kiss again, enjoying the taste of him in my mouth. It is exquisite. It is like a dream. My entire body thrums with my need for this man. I want to be closer, impossibly close to him, so we are never separated. I know it is my fierce attraction to him clouding my senses, but I feel it so clearly that it couldn't possibly be wrong.
I bring my hand down between us, reaching for him, taking my time slowly, enjoying the tension in his hard body pushed up against me, when I wrap my hand around him, Linc stiffens and pulls away from me. Halting the kiss. I open my eyes, dazed with raw lust.
His hand takes mine and moves it away from his erection. His eyes refuse to meet mine through the haze of my lust.
"I am sorry, Amelia." He says, moving his hand off my waist, they hang limply on either side of him and I am perched on his thighs awkwardly.
"Why?" I whisper, my voice is hoarse. I still can't bring myself to think clearly. I am still drowning in the heightened emotions he stirs in me with just a kiss. It is blissful but I realise I must get out now. It can't last forever.
"I can't." He says bitterly.
I do a double take at him, hearing what he is saying but not understanding. I am so confused. I am getting off my high too slowly to catch up.
"What?" I ask, I can't seem to speak more than a word at a time. I am bewildered. His hands come around my waist and for a second I think he is going to pull me in close, but instead he lifts me and gets out from under me, leaving me sitting on the cold marble.
I am throbbing and aching at the same time. I don't know what is happening. I can't think of a reason for the switch.
"I.. I don't know. I just can't. I am sorry. Not right now." He pulls a hand through his hair, he holds my eyes for a second and looks away, jaw clenched.
I stand up on weak knees. Confused. My chest is tight. I don't know if I feel more embarrassed than confused. Or just pained.
"Why? What is this about?" I ask. Feeling my pulse loudly in my ears.
"I can't touch you without feeling awful about letting Tyler get his hands on you. I feel responsible and I can't bring myself to just go ahead with you like that didn't happen." He says, he looks into my eyes as he speaks.
My heart melts at his words but my body reacts in the opposite. I want him, I came onto him hard with the whole shaving fiasco and he is refusing me. His reason is adorable, but it doesn't help me.
"Linc. I am not blaming you." I say cautiously. He looks tortured. I can see him wrestling with his conviction.
"I am responsible and that is fact." He says, more like snaps, it is probably the first time he has ever used that tone on me, I am momentarily shocked. I try not to show it but he must see it on my face. Regret washes over his features and he walks up to me. I didn't even notice the distance was growing between us in the spacious bathroom. We would look awkward under a different context.
He stops at a few feet from me. Unwilling to get too close.