Chapter 14
Show me the money.
Micah
I sit at the kitchen table looking at my gun, the one that I stole off Rogers before I left. It’s been a hell of a day and I’m exhausted. At least Rogers is still on my side, although he was quite pissed about that gun. He has done well to keep Clarke off my back, to keep me in the loop in the past week. Rudolf’s people are in trouble. There is something going on, some new evidence about Suranne Wallace’s murder case that came to light recently.
Now I don’t really care what is going to happen. I have lost Tahlia, maybe this time forever.
It’s been three days, three fucking long days. Yesterday, I told Kiki to shut up. I couldn’t stand listening to her annoying voice anymore. Then Tequila started shouting at me, and we ended up arguing over nothing.
After that fire I drove around looking for Tahlia all night. I didn’t find her. Someone must have known that we decided to head to London. I don’t believe that Rogers could have betrayed me, but then how did they know about my flat, about this location?
Three days ago I sent a text message to Rogers. He knows that I don’t like wasting time. He informed me last night that everything is ready and I should proceed if I want to find her.
“Okay, listen to me. I’ve had enough of us sitting around. Are we going to do anything? Anything at all that can help us with finding Tahlia?” Tequila shouts, walking up to me. I almost forgot that she is still in the flat. I lift my head up and exhale sharply. She needs to chill out and stop telling me what to do. That one mistake cost me pretty much everything that I ever worked for; on top of that I lost the only girl that I connected with, the girl that I love.
“Stop being so hostile,” I bark at her, thinking hard about this crazy and dangerous idea that keeps floating in my head. She frowns and places her hands on her hips.
“Hostile?” she repeats. “Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you have any idea what that psychopath could be doing to her right now? Well, if she isn’t dead already.”
I rub my eyes knowing exactly what Tahlia might be going through. I saw the videos, and the scars. Nausea rolls through my stomach. I hate that I feel so fucking hopeless.
“There is something that I can do, but this plan is dangerous and I have to do this on my own,” I say, still hearing how one of my guys in the city is cursing me off. It took some work and patience, but Tom managed to locate people that would be more than willing to help me out. I met him through an old contact of mine. In order to find Tahlia I would have to make a deal with people that should be rotting behind bars.
“Whatever, hot shot, just start talking, but before that let’s get something straight. You do not exclude me. We are in this together. Tahlia is like family to me and I want to find her as much as you do.”
“My ex-partner managed to get me info on a few of Rudolf’s gang rivals. We reach out to them and offer something in exchange for Tahlia or her location,” I explain, leaning over the kitchen counter.
Earlier, when we came back to the flat and I started losing it, Tequila calmed me down and took care of my bleeding knuckles. Then I went to the bedroom and I could still smell Tahlia on the blankets. I wanted to trash everything—the room, my stuff, the windows. It was the same uncontrollable anger from the past that made me lose it again. The tears didn’t come then, but the rage had its hands around my neck and I felt her applying pressure around my heart. I was back to square one, to being numb.
Tequila opens her mouth, but she doesn’t say anything.
“So you’re planning to bargain with criminals over Tahlia’s life? I don’t think this is a good idea,” she says. A moment later Kiki shows up in the kitchen looking curious. I need to keep her out of this. This is nothing to do with her. She is just some girl that stabbed her rapist boyfriend.
“I don’t have any other option. I have no idea where she might be. I need to act fast, make a contact, see if any of these people would be willing to trade information with me,” I say.
“Whatever it is, I want to be involved,” Kiki says, looking determined. “I’m fed up just sitting here with you two treating me like a child.”
“No. You two are going to stay here and wait for me. There is no way I’m letting you go anywhere near these criminals.”
“If you think that I’ll stay here waiting for you while I babysit, then you’re wrong. That monster has Tahlia and she needs our help,” Tequila states, not caring that she is only encouraging Kiki to rebel. I have already risked too much.
“I don’t need a babysitter and I’m not a child. I’m coming along,” Kiki argues.
A voice from the TV interrupts our discussion. “Police are pursuing the suspect. Our source stated that the suspect is a young female–”
“Turn it up. I need to listen to this for a second,” I cut both of them off, snatching the remote from Tequila’s hand and increasing the volume. The news channel is on constantly, just in case we hear anything about Tahlia.
“Witnesses are reporting that a girl dressed in a grey hoodie walked into a betting shop in East London holding a gun. She demanded cash threatening to shoot the cashier and customers that were inside at the time. Luckily no one has been hurt, and police are urging residents not to approach the girl as she might still be armed.”
I turn the volume down and tangle my hair, thinking that I might be getting paranoid. Tahlia is locked up somewhere, and she wouldn’t be capable of robbing the shop for cash. She is not that girl.
“Micah, I know that you’re trying to distract me,” Tequila says. “This isn’t going to work. I’m going with you.”
I want to fucking slap myself. I didn’t have to say anything to her about my plan; lies would have solved the problem.
“It’s too dangerous. Besides, we can’t leave Kiki alone. Be smart, Tequila, and think about the consequences,” I insist, wondering if I’m ever going to see her again, wondering if being a cop actually made me happy.
Then Tequila does something unpredictable. She reaches for my gun and grabs it before I have chance to snatch it off her. She smirks and aims it at me, unlocking it. I’ve been foolish enough, thinking that it was safe to keep it in front of me, pretending that I didn’t have to use it, that I was done with that life. Fuck, she’s going to hurt herself and it’s going to be my fucking fault.
“Listen to me, sucker. I’m going to shoot you if you keep being a stubborn fuck, because I’m tired of your whining. You’re taking me to speak to these scumbags. Kiki is old enough to decide for herself,” she states, still not lowering my gun. I knew she was crazy.
Kiki walks up to her, placing her hands on her hips and smiling.
“Yeah, listen to the witch. I want to help. Besides, I was with a murderer and a rapist. I might even be useful.”
Tahlia
I’m running, not even knowing where to, while my heart is pounding a hundred miles an hour. There is probably a couple grand in my backpack that I stole from that betting shop. I ordered one of the lads that was lying on the floor to hand me his oversized rucksack. The streets are almost deserted, as rain pours from the sky, and I keep running, aware that police are patrolling this area. Every time I see blue and red lights I hide between the buildings with my heart in my throat, waiting patiently until it’s safe to keep going.
Adrenaline pumps through me fast, until half an hour later I vanish inside the busy shopping centre. I stop then and just walk, looking behind me. This is what it came to, I have stabbed someone and now I have burgled someone’s business. I’m a thief and a potential murderer. Is this really all about surviving? I don’t know anymore. There were no cameras inside that shop and I have no idea if that poor cashier managed to give them an accurate description, but at the moment I need to become invisible. I walk into a chemist, keeping my hoodie on when I find a hair dye. Black should cover all my pink hair. I also get a pair of glasses with thick frames. I finally have cash, money that can help me hide in plain sight. I put lots of necessary stuff into my basket, some food and toiletries, everything that I need for now.
My mind starts to work backwards, and when I approach the counter, the images from earlier on keep rolling through my mind.
Me standing in the middle of the shop and pointing a gun at that petrified woman.
Me aiming the gun at everyone else and barking at her to hurry up.
Me running away and hearing the sirens around the neighbourhood as beads of sweat roll down my back. I’m hiding between the trash bins while my lungs are burning.
I shake myself back to reality when the cashier in the chemist smiles. My gun is at my back pocket, just in case. I never planned to hurt people, and I’m hoping that Tahir is still alive. Maybe someone has found him and called an ambulance.
“Did you find everything you were looking for today?” the cashier asks, looking at the stuff that I purchased.
I nod not saying anything. My pulse is still pounding when she starts packing my stuff into the plastic bag.
“Have a nice day,” she adds. We exchange the cash and she hands me the change. I grab my bags and leave, walking as quickly as I can. It’s so strange being back in London, walking through the same streets I did when I was barley sixteen.
A moment later, I walk into another store and buy some clothes and a basic mobile phone. I pay everything in cash and head outside. I’m back on the streets, walking towards Havering. An hour later I enter the first hotel that I see that looks poor enough not to attract anyone’s attention.
The receptionist is some foreign woman with a Russian accent. I pay for the room up front and then another staff member shows me to the room.
Several minutes later I’m inside a clean room, completely alone. My heart just keeps racing, blood thumps in my ears. There is a possibility that someone could have followed me here. I put my stuff on the floor and go to the window after locking the door and wedging a chair under the handle. The streets are empty, except for a few black teenagers standing near the off licence shop. It’s not the ideal location for someone like me, but I don’t want to stay on the streets, now when I finally have money.
After I shade all the curtains, I sit on the bed and start taking out all the stuff that I bought. I don’t count the cash. Maybe it’s the most money I ever had, but I’m not planning to spend it all. Once this whole thing is over, I’m going to give it all back and hand myself in. No one said that being hunted by everyone was going to be easy.
The bathroom is nice, clean. I pick up the hair dye, mix the liquids and start applying it onto my faint pink hair. Back in Braxton I used to dye my hair pink every six weeks, and before that I used green and blue hair dye. If I wasn’t seeing myself in the mirror, it was easier to forget about the past.
By the time I’m finished my legs are aching. The muscles are tired and I have no energy to do anything. I still choose to have a shower and wash away the dirty memory of Tahir touching me.
I run a shower, strip and walk in. The water feels nice, and for a moment I let it wash over me. Then the reality sinks in that I had been that close to seeing him again. Rat was most probably on his way to the apartment. All this time Lee was on his side.
I start sobbing, as I realise that I’m alone again. Tequila, Micah and Kiki are probably looking for me or they are already locked up somewhere, waiting to be charged. This no longer matters. It’s better that we separated. Now, at least they aren’t in any danger.
My heart is shredded to pieces; Micah’s sacrifices won’t change anything. After all I’m still wanted by the police, now also for robbing the betting shop. It is just a matter of time before they link me to the person that’s on the run, to Tahlia.
I step out of the shower, dry myself and stand in front of the mirror for a moment looking at my new self. My hair had never been this dark. The colour doesn’t really suit me, but it masks everything, exposing my green eyes.
I keep staring at myself and don’t know what to do next. The tiny voice in my head tells me that I have to go after him first. I have to find rat and kill him—before he finds me. I have to forget about being Rose Waltham or even Tahlia Sanderson. Now I have to be the new me, the person determined not to be the victim in this situation, and kill that motherfucker by my own hand.