Chapter 3: Past

Sevinc POV

There's a time in your life when there's no other way to go so you just walk and keep walking until you reach the edge of the pier and you stop for a second close your eyes and feel the warm breeze on your cold cheeks where your tears are completely dried now. You count in your heart five.............. then you see the beautiful memory of you eating sweets with your father four.......... giving your mother her daily medicines three....... laughing so hard with your sister that it's hard to breathe two.......... sharing late night meals with your brother one........... you take a step forward and splash!! You're now in the water you let go of your body completely because that's something you can control eyes closed and you can feel the heaviness slowly going away form you, the emptiness, peace and the thought of leaving all the burdens behind.

You're going deeper and deeper your mind finally feels at peace and your soul is ready to leave the hell that is your body. Everything is dark and then........ someone is touching my lips pushing air in my mouth i cough and some water comes out of ny mouth....... I try to open my eyes but it's so bright i wait a couple seconds, took a deep breath and open my eyes.... it's pretty clear today with a few clouds here and there the sun is shining so brightly.

I look at him.... his blue eyes matches with the color of the sky, his dark brownish hair are soaking wet. Well he just dove in the water to try and save the complete stranger. I lied there without any moment he was looking in my eyes by i am thinking about why this day came in my life and what did i do to deserve this one freakin day...

I can never forget his words that killed me, his hands that were so rough i had scratches all over me, his mouth that smelled like rotten fish. He made me sit on his laps forcefully and he was kissing me and touching me all over my body. He made me lie down on his bed where he'll sleep tonight with his wife, he kept forcing his lips on mine and no matter how much i tried to stopped him he kept touching me on my chest and then my stomach he removed my shirt and then my pants and my shorts..... he pushed and pushed i was crying because of the pain i got with every single push.. i was scratching his back and slapping him and struggling so hard to get out of his grip but he didn't stop and he kept going until he finished.

He left me in the room i got up put my clothes on and started running. So many thoughts were going through my mind but my mind was blank and i kept running i jumped into the water because i know what happened to me was gonna make my life hell and was always gonna stick with me until the day i die so i decided to die just now. I didn't know someone would actually save me. Did i deserve to be saved after what just happened to me?

"Uhhmm.. are you okay??" His question snaps me out of my thoughts and pulls me into the reality, my reality, the reality from which i was running from. I just nod he offers me a hand that i accept, he pulls me up.

"Are you sure you gonna be okay?" Another question.... no I'm not gonna be okay, my heart is shattered, I'm ashamed, i hate myself, i hate this day and i hate this world. "Mmhmm" i replied and left the pier with all the pieces of myself in the water forever.

It's been 1 week since that incident I've been trying to cope with it and trying really hard to hide it from everybody... well everybody means my roommate. My parents died when i was really young and i didn't had any siblings so after spending years at my uncle's house i finally moved out from there when i was 15 because they weren't really good people. I still remember my first night there uncle Pat and aunt Mary were fighting in their room as to why they should take a 7 year old after my parents died. It was one storey house, with 3 bedrooms. In master uncle and aunt were fighting, in another room cousin Lacey was locked and the last room was their guest room which they didn't want me to use because it was a nice room set for their special guests.

"Lacey!! Come here" aunt Mary shouted on top of her voice. Lacey unlocked her room and stomped her way towards their room.

"Nooo! I won't share my room with some orphan" I heard Lacey saying this and i was crying because i felt so lonely in that moment i really missed my parents.

They came out of their room "Sleep on the sofa today, there's extra sheets in that drawer" aunt Mary pointed towards a chest of drawers and went back in.. uncle Pat he came to me and sat beside me.. "How are you doing kid?" He asked holding my hand.. "ok" i replied. I didn't remember much of that night but i know i slept in uncle Pat's lap when i woke up i was sleeping on the sofa and i had the sheet wrapped around me.

I was sitting in the edge of the pier looking into the water and was lost in my thoughts when i got startled by the voice "Gonna jump again?" It was the voice of same person who saved me that day. "No" i replied without looking at him. He sat beside me both our legs were hanging almost touching the water we sat like that for 10 minutes in silence. "Thankyou for that day" i finally breaks the silence. "Oh so you do speak" he said with a smile on his face i looked at him and return him a smile. I was actually smiling after a week it felt good. "You wanna grab a bite" he said looking into the water because i think he listened my stomach growling. I haven't eaten in 2 days actually. "Sure" he stood up and offered me his hand which i accepted. We walked to the nearest food cart and nobody spoke a word until he asks "Does a meatball sub sounds good?" "Yeah it sounds great" i replied and he waves his hand to the bench nearest to us overlooking the water. I sat on the bench and he went to order our lunch.

He came back holding two meatball subs and two soft drinks tucked in his arms.. i took the drinks from him and he settle the subs between us and sits with me on the bench. "So what'd you do?" I ask him to start the conversation because it was just too creepy eating with a stranger in silence..

"You see the convenience store across the road, my father owns it" he points towards the store and I'm looking at the store now.. "I study in the community college" he takes a bite from his sub and slurps his drink. "I work here some days when i don't have any classes " he takes another bite then another sip. I was just sitting quietly eating and then drinking and then listening to him talk about himself. "You should look on the road when you're running and avoid bumping into people" i gasp because i have no memory of bumping into him... "huh.. when.. uhmm when did i bump into you?" I said clearing my throat..

"Last week"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"It's okay, but can i ask you something if you don't mind?"

"Mm.. hmm"

"Are you feeling better than last week??"

I was shocked not because he asked me this question but the way he carefully used the words while keeping in mind that he won't come as too judgmental.

"I guess 2% better" i shrugged on my own reply because suddenly everythin came infront of my eyes again. I started feeling suffocating, i couldn't breathe my eyes were filled with tears.. but i was trying so hard not to cry infront of him...

"You want me to leave you alone?" He asks me without even looking at me..

"Yess please" my voice was barely a whisper. He picks up both of our trash and left without saying anything else.

I sat there for another hour, cried my eyes out and when there were no more tears left i rub my eyes got up and head towards the store to use the restroom.