Chapter 15

She glared at him. “If you continue to bed me as you have, that is an inevitable consequence. Do you not have one of those devices that prevents it?”

His eyes widened, and he looked shocked. “What do you know of such things?”

“My friend Bella told me about them. I believe she called them a French letter.”

He seemed aghast for a moment, and then he shook his head. “It would be improper to discuss this with you.”

Maddy laughed at him. “What was improper was the way I was riding your face not thirty minutes ago, Lord Kressley. I believe the time for propriety has passed, so do you have one of those devices?”

“I do have a condom in London, but I did not think to bring it with me, and I find I would not wish use it with you anyway. You are the first woman I have been inside without it, and it would only compromise the integrity of our pleasure.”

“While preventing a bastard neither of us wants.”

He glared at her. “It is true I do not want a bastard, but I would not mind if you bore my child. I have already chosen you to be Lady Kressley. I simply await your acceptance of the plan.”

She glared at him again. “You are supposed to be quenching your obsession, Lord Kressley. Are you even making any attempt to do so?”

He shrugged a lazy shoulder. “I do not know. I am simply enjoying the moment with you. I do not plan to think ahead. If I tire of you, that will not bother me, but if I don’t, that shall not upset me either.”

She huffed at him as she rolled away, getting out of the bed. “It shall upset me greatly, I assure you. I have been accommodating, but I demand to return to my life.”

He didn’t even stir himself to get out of bed or do anything besides cup his hands behind his head. “No.”

She had to resist the urge to stomp her foot in a childish display of anger. “You are an infuriating beast, Kressley.”

“I prefer it when you call me Colin, particularly when you are coming around my cock, and you are calling out my name with such vigor. One could almost mistake it for love.” His eyes gleamed as he teased her.

She glared at him, turning away. “I want a bath.”

“Of course, my lady.” He sounded mocking as he said that, but he stood up and pulled on the rope. While they waited for a servant to arrive, she moved behind the dressing screen, seeing no point in putting on her clothes just to take them off again to get in the bath.

Instead, she wrapped a morning dress around herself and sat demurely on a wingback while she waited for the tub and hot water to appear. Unfortunately, that gave her time to think, and she had to grudgingly admit he might be not entirely off the mark.

Of course, she wasn’t in love with him. That would be insanity, but her emotions toward him had definitely relented to an extent. It was a dangerous place to be, and she had to navigate carefully. She didn’t mind both of them receiving pleasure from the other, but she certainly didn’t want to fall in love with Lord Kressley, particularly if he might eventually set her aside.

That was her goal, and she wanted to cling to it rather than be morose if he didn’t marry her. She had been the one to refuse, and she was still as resistant to the idea as ever, so she hastily assured herself she was in no danger of developing more tender feelings for the man who had kidnapped her and brought her here, trying to force her to marry him. Only a masochistic fool would allow themselves to fall in love under those circumstances.

***

When she had stopped resisting his physical overtures, Colin had started to give her more freedom. Since they were in the middle of nowhere, and it would take at least a day of determined walking if one knew the right direction to find any sort of civilization, he allowed her to take walks on the grounds, and she mostly had free run of the house.

While living in London, she hadn’t been much for walking. The city was dirty, polluted, and often either too hot or too cold for such activities, particularly with the schedule she had kept while working at the theater, but she had taken to the habit in the countryside and discovered a joy for it.

This morning, she powered along on her own, wondering if Colin would allow her to send a letter to Bella to at least assure her friend she was all right, when she heard the crunch of feet moving through the leaves. She looked up in surprise to see an older woman approaching her.

She slowed her pace, quickly calculating from the woman’s cloak that she must be a lady rather than a servant. This could be Colin’s mother, the dowager marchioness, and she braced herself for disapproval, assuming the woman must dislike her and her lineage, since she had not yet met her, despite being at the country home for so long.

“Hello. You must be Miss Carew?” asked the woman with a lovely smile. It brightened her face, which the lady sorely needed. There was a defeated, broken-down air about her, and it suggested she had lived a life of great sadness.

Maddy nodded as she stopped walking, turning fully to face the older woman. “Are you Colin’s mother?” she asked gently. She had braced herself for the woman to dislike her, preparing to respond with icy anger and the truth of why she was there, but there was nothing about the other woman’s demeanor to suggest disapproval or anything besides melancholy.

“I am, though I was hardly credited with that role in his life.” She closed her eyes for a moment, looking pained again. “I am sorry you have found yourself in a similar situation. I had hoped Colin would be nothing like his father, but I was given little influence in raising him, and I have no doubt Colin III raised the poor child in his image.” She seemed on the verge of tears.

Maddy couldn’t still the compulsion. She reached out and took the other woman’s hand. “Are you all right?”

Mrs. Nash sniffed for a moment before regaining control. “I suppose it is what it is, and I have accepted it, but I am dreadfully disappointed that my son is just as cruel and driven by his own desires as his father.”

Maddy had the peculiar urge to defend Colin. He could be willful and demanding, but she wouldn’t have considered him cruel. Yet she was afraid speaking up might interrupt the narrative from his mother, and she was dreadfully curious to find out everything she could about the family and its dynamic. “How do you mean?”

“There are whispers among the staff that he is obsessed with you, and I guess others have heard him say he shall never let you go.” She looked mournful. “At least his father had the semi-decency to marry me before putting me through a similar hell. Not that I wanted to marry Colin III, but my father forced the match because my family was on the edge of bankruptcy.

“Believe it or not, I tried to make him happy, but he had many unnatural desires that frightened me. More than that, he wanted me to be as equally consumed with him as he was with me, but I could never manage anything more than a tepid affection that quickly died in the face of his treatment.” The woman squeezed her hand through their gloves. “You must know what I mean.”

Uncertain how to respond, she just nodded. She couldn’t reconcile the account of Colin’s mother with the man she knew. Colin was selfish and determined to have his own way, but he didn’t seem to be the same kind of villain as his father. “What happened?”

“When it became obvious to him that he could never force me to love him, and I would certainly never embrace the mutual obsession he wanted between us, he started to tell everyone I was mad. I do not know what he gave me, but there were times when he would drug me, and I would start to convulse. I couldn’t always control my words or actions either, and it allowed him the perfect justification to lock me up in the country and declare me insane.”

She gasped. “That is horrible.”

The woman nodded. “It was, but the worst was yet to come. He took Colin from me, though he shipped him off to Eton as soon as he was old enough, and he was raised by governesses before that. That hurt far worse than him besmirching my reputation, calling me a madwoman, or any of the perversions he made me endure.”

“Did his obsession eventually fade?” asked Maddy, wanting to know for the woman’s sake and her own, as she contemplated if Colin was like his father.

“No. He still visited multiple times per year to force himself upon me, and to make me do whatever he wanted. Of course, he became colder and crueler with each year, enjoying torturing me with all the information about Colin, though he refused to allow us to see each other. He took particular delight in telling me about his mistresses, as though he thought that might hurt me.

“I couldn’t have cared less about that. It was only when he died that I found some measure of relief, and when Mrs. Harris came here, she quickly realized there was nothing wrong with me. She was the one who forced the rest of the staff to allow me some freedom, insisting that whatever malady I had was cured.

“Of course it was, for he had only maintained the pretense until he could lock me here and convince everyone in London I was crazy. He turned my tragedy into his triumph, likely gaining support and sympathy among those in the Ton. Destroying my life had no appreciable negative effect on his. I do hate for you to end up in the same situation, my dear.” She closed her eyes, looking regretful. “When I discovered I was pregnant, I almost killed myself. I wish now I had.”

Maddy gasped at the words, but hers wasn’t the only voice. There was a low sound from nearby, and they both looked over to see Colin standing there. He was pale, and Maddy wondered how much he had heard. Clearly, he’d heard the last statement.

He walked toward them with a sense of purpose as he pulled Maddy away from his mother. “Stay away from her. You might have fooled the servants, but I do not trust you. I know you are mad, and you could endanger Maddy. If I see you near her again, I will order the servants to return you to your bedchamber and not allow you any freedom. Do you understand, madam?” His words were cold and harsh.

His poor mother quelled underneath them, bursting into tears as she turned and ran away. Maddy was full of sympathy for the woman, and she started to go after her, but Colin maintained a rigid hold on her wrist. “You are to stay away from her. She is dangerous.”

“She’s not dangerous. She has been tortured by your father and a lifetime of indignities.” She tore her wrist from his hand, glaring up at him. “She was simply expressing sympathy that you are like your father and wishing she could help me.”

“By having killed herself and me along with her. I heard that part. Do you not see it could be a threat? She could try to kill me in my sleep if she believes she is rescuing you.”

The thought sent a pang through her, but she thought it was pure paranoia. “She is not a violent woman, and you do not have to worry about that, I am certain.”

“Because you know her so well,” he openly mocked.

She put her hands on her hips. “And you know her at all? She said she barely saw you growing up, and you have clearly taken your father’s word for everything in the matter. I thought you were a man who thought for himself, strong and confident, and capable of seeing past the surface, but I have clearly underestimated you.”

Without another word to him, she turned and ran back toward the house. She was careful not to take the same route Mrs. Nash had taken, because she didn’t want to draw his wrath upon his mother by interacting with the woman, especially so soon after his command not to. She had believed Mrs. Nash overstated the similarities between father and son, but now she wasn’t so sure.