Chapter 220
Chapter 220
Sadie's POV
That night, I broke my own rule again.
I pulled out the SIM card.
Scrolled through old messages.
Found the voicemails I'd never listened to.
My finger hovered over the first one.
Don't, I told myself. You'll only make it worse.
But I pressed play anyway.
Jake's voice filled the room, and I closed my eyes.
"Sadie, it's me. I know you're getting these messages. My mom said you're okay, but I need to hear it from you. Please. Just call me back. I don't understand what's happening. Did I do something wrong? Just... please talk to me."
The message ended.
I played the next one.
"It's been two days. I've called the airline, but they won't tell me which flight you took. I know your mom's with you. But I don't know why. What happened, baby? What did I do?"
Another.
"I miss you. God, I miss you so much. The apartment feels empty. Everything feels empty. Please come home. Or let me come to you. I don't care where we are, as long as we're together."
And another.
"I'm sorry. For whatever I did, I'm sorry. I'll fix it. I'll be better. Just please, please don't leave me like this."
I was crying openly now, shoulders shaking.
The last voicemail was different. His voice was flat. Defeated.
"I got your message. About the other guy. And I... I don't know what to say. I thought what we had was real. I thought you loved me. But I guess I was wrong. I hope he makes you happy, Sadie. I really do. Because all I want is for you to be happy. Even if it's not with me."
The message ended.
I pulled the SIM card out with shaking hands and threw it across the room.
Then I grabbed my laptop, opened a blank document, and started typing.
Dear Jake,
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was never about you. It was about me. About my father. About things I can't tell you because if I did, you'd hate me. And I can't bear that. I can't bear you knowing the truth.
So I lied. I told you I loved someone else. I let you think I never cared. And I've been living with that lie for three years, and it's killing me.
But the truth would kill you.
So I'll keep lying.
I'll keep running.
And I'll keep loving you from across the ocean, even though I have no right to.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
I stared at the words for a long time.
Then I deleted them.
All of them.
And I closed the laptop and went to bed.
---
The next morning, I woke to my alarm and got ready for class like always.
Showered. Dressed. Made tea.
Routine. Safe. Predictable.
I was halfway out the door when my phone rang.
Liam.
I almost didn't answer.
But something made me pick up.
"Hey."
"Sadie." His voice was strange. Tight. "I need to tell you something."
My stomach dropped. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. It's just... Jake. He's been seeing a therapist. For the memory loss."
I gripped the phone tighter. "Okay?"
"She's a specialist. In trauma-induced amnesia. And she thinks she can help him recover those three months he lost."
The world tilted.
"Sadie? You still there?"
"Yeah." My voice sounded far away. "I'm here."
"I thought you should know. In case... I don't know. In case it matters."
It mattered.
God, it mattered.
If Jake remembered that summer, he'd remember me. Remember us.
Remember that I was the girl he'd loved before the accident.
And then he'd start asking questions.
Questions I couldn't answer.
"Thanks for telling me," I managed.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Sadie—"
"I have to go. Class."
I hung up before he could say anything else.
Then I sank down on the floor, back against the door, and tried to breathe.
If Jake remembered...
If he put it together...
If he found out the truth...
No.
I couldn't think about that.
Wouldn't.
I got up, grabbed my bag, and walked out into the rain.
Another day.
Another class.
Another step forward in this life I'd built.
This careful, controlled, lonely life.
And I told myself, like I did every morning:
This is enough.
This has to be enough.
Because going back would destroy us both.