Side Story 2-6

Side Story 2-6
Linda

When I met Levi at my co-worker Liam's house, I wasn't really sure what to expect from the relationship. We hit it off on the first night, then he ended up rocking my world again, not too long after.
Then we met up weekly to hook up. I mean, we went out occasionally, but what we did the most when we got together was fuck.

I wasn't adverse to the arrangement at first because I liked the way he made me feel. He could make my body hum with only a few strokes of his fingers.
I've never been with anyone who prioritized my pleasure over their own.

Yeah, so I was definitely okay with only meeting Levi to fuck. The issue came when I developed feelings for him.
I didn't want him to leave when we were finished. I wanted the kisses to linger a little longer. I wanted more.

It didn't seem like that's what he wanted, though. The harder I pushed to get closer, the harder he pushed me away.
I was okay just seeing him occasionally, but the ache only grew with the more distance he put between us.

After a couple of months of this arrangement, I thought things were beginning to look up. But then he told me he had to go out of town.
When I hadn't heard from him in over a week after he left, I tried calling and texting. No response.

He simply ghosted me. It made me wonder if he even had to go out of town, or if that was just a lie he told me to get away from me.
In an effort to get me to forget about Levi, my friends invited me out for a night on the town.

I walk into the bar with my group of friends a month or so after Levi ghosted me, and we stand near the bar as we scout the room for a table.
My eyes are drawn to the bar when I notice a familiar figure. My eyes meet the smoky grey eyes of Levi over the shoulder of the woman whose neck he's currently kissing on.

I can't stop the hurt and pain from showing on my face before I fix my face and turn away like I haven't seen anything.
If this is how he wants to do it, so be it. That's how things will go then.

I follow my friends to a table, laughing and smiling when I'm supposed to, and responding to questions on autopilot.
I watch Levi from across the room, no matter how many times I try to drag my eyes away, they are always drawn back to his broad frame.

I watch as he stands up from the bar and makes his way to the exit. I look at him when he glances in my direction, shooting a guilty smile my way.
I didn't want to return the smile, cause then I felt like I would be acknowledging that he has something to feel guilty about. But he doesn't.

We never specified what we were, so there shouldn't have been any questions unless I was asking him to clarify our relationship. I never asked him, though, so maybe the fault is mine.
I smile sadly back at him. I'm sure if he's really paying attention to my face, he should be able to tell how much his actions hurt me.

But I don't want him feeling guilty. I never told him how I felt, and I never asked him what the label on our relationship was, so he shouldn't feel like this is his fault.
My hurt and pain are my own fault; I let myself catch feelings. Levi told me early on that he wasn't the settling-down type. He told me that he was a Casanova.

I guess I just hoped I could change him. I hoped he would feel enough of the love I have for him pouring off of me.
But maybe my love spilled in the wrong direction. It seems like it went right past Levi.

I shake my head, getting back in the moment with my friends. I laugh as someone cracks a joke about stiff alphas.
I will leave it for now. I'd see how Levi acts going forward. Maybe he'll still wanna hook up, even though I don't think I can just hook up with him anymore.

I make it through the rest of my night by pinning a smile on my face and drinking when someone passes me a drink.
For the next couple of weeks, I ignore all of Levi's calls and texts. I believe he's only calling me because he feels guilty.

It's a Friday, and I have nothing to do. I want to get out there and meet new people, but I'm not yet ready to form another connection so quickly.
I don't know how people did that, moved from person to person so fast. I couldn't, especially since I form bonds with everyone I deal with.
Everyone except Levi, it would seem.

I walk to my kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine. I take a sip just as I hear a knock on my front door.
I walk to the door and pull it open to see Levi standing on my doorstep. I never expected him to show up here. He seemed too shallow to seek someone out.

But here he is, standing at my door looking contrite. I let him in when he says he wants to talk.
We take a seat on the couches in the living room, and Levi immediately starts apologizing.

"What are you apologizing for, Levi?" I ask because I really want to know why he feels the need to apologize.
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't realize until I did just how important you are to me. I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner," he says sincerely.

"I hope you know that my being in pain and hurt isn't your fault?" he looks at me quizzically, "I fell in love with you on my own, you told me up front what you were looking for, it was my bad that I thought I could change that," I say, looking down at my folded hands on my lap.

He shakes his head, "It is my fault. I knew you had feelings for me, and I never clarified what our relationship is. That became my responsibility once I gained knowledge of your feelings. I fumbled the ball on that one, and that's what I'm really sorry about."
"You did change me. I was too slow on the uptake to notice just how much."

I stand up from my seat and stand in front of him. "I'll give you another chance, because I care about you too much not to see where things can go between us."
He smiles widely and then begins thanking me profusely. I sit next to him on the couch, and we catch up on everything that's been going on for us over the past.

I cry when Levi tells me about what happened with Liam. I can't tell him enough how sorry I am that that happened.
We catch up some more until Levi asks me, "Have you had dinner yet?"

I smile at him and shake my head. He tells me he'll take me to a movie theater that serves food while you watch the movie.
I tell him excitedly that I'd love to do that, I've always wanted to go to a theater like that.

We head to the movie theater and I have the time of my life. We eat the food, watch the movie, and laugh at all of the funny parts. We have so much fun.

So much has changed so quickly.
I managed to snag a certified Playboy and turn him into a one-woman man.