74

74

Haylee's POV

My heart breaks into a million pieces as I behold the grotesque version of my father staring back at me. Though they are sickly transfigured by the shadows, though those unnatural things are writhing through his silver hair, I can look him in the eye and see the man who taught me how to howl at the first full moon. The man who hoisted me onto his shoulders and carried me when we hiked in the forest because I was too small to tramp along with the rest of the pack runs.
“Papa,” I whisper, and the word rips itself from my throat the way I imagine flesh would.

“My sweet little moon,” he says once more, taking a step toward our circle. It is in that same gentle voice that he spoke to me when I scraped my knees as a child, wrote me letters when I slept whipped by nightmares, held me that time I cried over my first broken heart. "You look tired, sweetheart. You look like you have the weight of the world on those lovely shoulders.”

A ripple passing through my concentration at the rapidly collapsing circle. I feel Kael and Lior’s small hands gripping mine, their young faces frowning as they feel my emotions through the link.

“Mama,” Kael whispers in an urgent tone, “don’t listen to him. Something's wrong."

But my father’s eyes — even as they blaze with that terrible, artificial glow — still retain glimpses of the unconditional love I knew from my early years. “Just look what has become of you, my tender daughter. See what they’ve made you do, fighting fights that were never yours to fight.”

This is what I chose," I say, except even to myself, I sound feeble. "I chose to leave. I chose to be independent."

"Did you?" His head swivels with that familiar attitude I remember so well. “Or did you get moved by things that were outside of your control? By some ignoble spouse who betrayed your confidence? By a manipulative Alpha who took advantage of you when you were in a weak spot?”

Xavier is behind him, with that grinning self-satisfied expression that makes my skin crawl. "Your father knows what you have been suffering from, my dear. He’s seen what abandonment has done to you.’

“That’s not…” I begin.” And my father cuts me off.

I looked for you every day little moon. Each lead, each whisper, any trail to follow. I mobilized entire packs. I pulled strings with Alphas over three states. I never stopped believing that I would find you.”

The guilt washes over me in huge waves. The relief that I felt when months went by and nobody came for me after I became part of Xavier's pack was something I can never forget. I was assuming that my father had come to terms with my decision – that he’d made some kind of peace with it. I never thought he was out there somewhere, struggling in a search while blaming himself for my absence.

“I thought you were going to let me go,” I say, with tears running down my face. “You were supposed to realize that I had to do things my way.”

There is no boundary to how much a daddy can love, baby girl. It doesn’t care about distance, doesn’t care about time, doesn’t even care about death itself.” He takes a further step and I can see the creature-spirits dividing neatly in front of him. Spoilifier He's still one Alpha not to mess with. I used to blame myself daily for being way too authoritarian, for not noticing how much you were dying for freedom. But I can make it right now."

I feel Aiden's pain, my own pain, muddled through our bond. He knows this terrible knot of life better than anyone else knows it — the guilt of making choices that end up injuring the people we love the most.

“The circle!” cries Elder Patricia urgently. "Haylee, concentrate on the ritual."

But how could I concentrate while my father — my adored, overprotective, impossible father — is just there? A man whose every word yanks at heartstrings I thought I’d finally severed all those years ago?

“I know how his real plans are,” my father says suddenly then in a tone perfectly pitched to carry across a battlefield in a conspiratorial whisper. ‘Xavier hasn’t been completely honest with you, little moon. He doesn't just want to have one of your boys in order to tap into the power of the prophecy. He's going to kill them both."

My blood turns to ice. "What?"

Xavier’s face changes only for a fraction of a second— his irritation briefly flashing across his face before he smooths it into fake concern. "Marcus, you're mixing her up with shadow-spun memories. The corruption is getting to your judgment.

“No,” my father says, and for a moment, he sounds just like the Alpha I knew when I was a child—strong, inflexible, protective. "I've been in his world long enough to know the truth. He’s been getting ready to do this for years, Haylee. This ritual is not supposed to close the rift. It is designed to bestow on him enough power to rise higher than we’ve ever known. And your children — both your children — are the heart of his redemption.”

The news strikes me like a punch. I remember all the times when Xavier urged me to train the boys' powers, all of his innocent sounding questions about their various superhuman talents, all of the ways he'd quietly insisted they pursue their otherworldly potential.

"He saved me," I say, my voice soft, but before I can even finish speaking, I remember things differently. His timely discovery in the woods. The fact that he was so eager to marry and protect her. How he always seemed to have the perfect words to keep me hooked on him.

Was it he that saved you, little moon? Or is it rather that he engineered you to be saving in the first place?”

The question hangs there like poison and I see Xavier's facade finally begin to crack. His face hardens, and the fake warmth runs right off of it.

"Enough," he snarls. "Haylee, don't let him pull on your heartstrings with all this fantasy. Your father has been possessed by the dark power of the shadow. He's not thinking clearly."

“Then demonstrate it,” I taunt, suddenly stronger in my voice. Tell me what exactly occurs when the ritual is finished. Give me what you mean to do with my sons’ power.”

The fact that Xavier says nothing is answer enough.

“My little moon, follow me,” my father urges, his shadowed hand extended towards me. “Join me in the shadow realm where he can’t spin his lies. Where we can be a family again just like when you were little. I can protect you there. I can protect you from ever getting hurt again.”

And there it is — the same smothering protectiveness that pushed me away in the first place. Even under the influence of dark magic, even made into a monster, my father still can’t seem to leave my life up to me. Still trying to protect me from the world instead of simply letting me deal with it by my own lights.

"No," I whimper, and the word seems to reverberate over the battlefield.

"Haylee—"

“No,’’ I say again, more loudly. "Papa, I love you. “And I've loved you so much—and it wasn't worth this.And I have always loved you—and I'm so sorry for the pain this will cause you. But I am not going to swap one cage for another. You will not dictate what my decisions are, and there is no way in hell I will allow Xavier to use my children to fulfill his fucked up whims."

Power courses through me — not just the ritual magic, but something profound. Something that emanates from at last really embracing who I’m supposed to be. I'm not the scared girl who left home from her father's bike pack. I’m not that broken girl who had no choice but to accept Xavier’s help. You can call me Haylee Wolf, Luna, mother and I am alpha in my own right.

"The boys and I will deal with this!" I announce, my voice booming across the battlefield, speaking with a leadership that stops even the shadow things in their tracks. “We’re going to close that divide, and we’re going to counter Xavier’s plan. But we'll do it our way."

The circle crackles with revived prepotency as I infuse it with all of my determination. I can sense Kael and Lior react, their own youthful powers like harmonics to mine, now in full song. Together, we start to make something new—not to close the breach, but a net to catch the shadow magic itself.

"It's working!" "Oh my God!" exclaims Elder Patricia. "The dimensional barrier is fighting back!

But, rather than closing the tear, our collective strength starts tugging the shadow creatures towards us. They’re being tugged back into their zone, their corporeal forms dissolving as the dimensional barrier snaps shut.

A look of pride and regret crosses my father’s face and he sizes me up. “My small moon,” he says quietly, “you’re everything that I knew you would be.”

The shadow legion is starting to fall back when Xavier shouts in anger. “You have no idea what you’re doing!” he shouts. “You’re ruining everything!”

"Good," I say grimly as I add more fuel to the rite.

But then my father struggles for control under Xavier's direct command for a second, his pure paternal instinct battling the shadow magic and just for a second I can see the man he used to be. His eyes remain clear, for those few moments they are more recognizably his as he tries to speak.

“Tiny moon,” he breathes into it in desperation, “the rite is a snare! He requires your power to accomplish his transformation. All of the energy you’re transmitting through is coffee for him.” Stop before it's too late!"

I stare in horror as I understand what this means. The pull I had believed was calling the shadow things away, is in fact pulling the power of the shadow creatures towards Xavier. He’s starting to reshape, getting bigger and scarier as he feeds off the magic we’re making.

“Too bad,” laughs Xavier, his voice changing as he starts to transform. "Too little, too late, dear Haylee. Thank you for giving me what I needed."