Chapter 94 The Truth At Last
To all my readers, I re-uploaded the rightful chapter 93 and it's currently waiting for approval.
Kristen's POV
"Speak up, Ben. You can't remain mute like this all day." I give him a stern look.
But Ben looks away from me and scratches the back of his head again.
"You should leave then. I don't think you have to stay when you've chosen to keep things away from me for as long as possible, claiming I'm suffering from amnesia. When you have to tell me things of the past." Anger is evident in my voice, but I don't even care at this point.
I bite the insides of my cheeks hard until I can feel the taste of blood in my mouth which gives out I've injured the silk-wet flesh because I am impatiently waiting for Ben to speak up from where he's seated or leave.
His head and shoulders sag down, and I can sense that he wants to talk, but there's something on his inside restraining him, holding his lips shut so he doesn't say a word.
I blow out an exasperated breath because it seems like I want to go insane at this moment. My body is currently on fire from the pain and anger, making me feel way worse than I am used to. This is why they don't let most people into a patient's ward at the hospital because if they upset the patient, the condition of that patient will worsen.
And I would've gotten off this bed myself and left if I could. But I am paralyzed. I can't move on my own. My limbs are paralyzed. There's this huge cast on my neck that restrains me from turning my bed the way I want, making my neck feel even stiff inside.
Ben suddenly stands up from my bed and moves away from me. He blows out a big puff of breath and avoids my eyes, with his hands curled into fists. And I can feel my heart squeezing itself in my chest because it seems like he has chosen to leave, rather than to give me the answers that I need.
"The rogue psycho confessed to obsessing over you right from the very day you slept with Calhoun in the backseat of Calhoun's car," Ben says, and the frown on my face deepens. To think someone saw me and Calhoun getting intimate.
"So there was no beef between Calhoun and this rogue before me?" I blurt out.
"No. We only heard about him, no one ever saw him. But his name was on everyone's lips because females kept disappearing from this pack and other neighboring packs." Ben puts his hands on his waist.
"I see, and Alpha Calhoun, did he ever force me into sleeping with him?" I ask.
And Ben stares at me incredulously.
"Why would he do that? As much as I hate to admit it, I can't deny he's crazy over you." He tightens his fist to the extent it gives out a cracking sound.
I don't say anything but look at Ben who is pacing to and fro.
"When your mom tried to humiliate you at my mother's funeral, Calhoun came out and defended you." Ben continues.
"My mom tried to humiliate me?" I find this very disbelieving, it could be he's talking about someone else and not the woman I met a few hours earlier, "My mom doesn't hate me."
"Yes, she hates you," Ben pushes his hands in his pocket.
"How can you even say that?" I am slightly offended at this point.
"Your mom hates you, everyone knows."
"Oh my.." Is this why Bruce stopped me from apologizing? Did Mom and I ever get into a fight because of Calhoun? Why did she act all nice and caring around me?
"Is that all?" I ask Ben, after a short pause.
"Why did Calhoun refuse to look at me when I went with Bruce to his office?" I ask.
"You went to his office?" Ben's eyes widen in their sockets.
"It doesn't matter. He told me he could not face me because he's the reason why I am in this state." I say.
"Because he feels guilty you suffered way too long until he found you. Had he arrived earlier, you wouldn't be in this state." Ben pauses then comes back to sit at my side on the bed. "He cannot even face you because he feels ten times worse than normal," He says, looking at me with his eyes growing soft.
He rubs his palm over his face and then returns his eyes to me. He looks handsome this way. But I need him to keep talking because things are starting to make sense now.
"An old friend of Calhoun, Alpha Ezra, invited Calhoun over to his place and poisoned him. And Calhoun in his dying state, shifted and ran all the way to school to meet you."
"What did I do?" I ask, then chew on my bottom lip because this is getting more serious than I thought.
"You acted like it was you who took the poison. We rushed him to the pack hospital because you were crying throughout."
"I did that?" Blinking out of confusion, I try to comprehend if I have ever shifted into a wolf like everyone.
"Yes, you cared deeply for him." Ben stops and gives out an awkward laugh. "We all thought it was lust, but then I came to actualize the fact that you truly loved Calhoun. You turned me down when I sought your hand in marriage, because you were so in love with your mother's husband."
I blow out a breath and say nothing else. Hearing Ben talk like this is so touching, and there's this sudden urge to comfort him because he's obviously hurt, but I cannot. My limbs are paralyzed.
And Ben looks at me.
Slowly, he takes my hand into his and covers it.
I don't tell him to free my hand this time, instead, I let him hold it.
"You're the first girl I ever fell in love with, and I couldn't back away because I thought I'd have a chance with you. Although you made it clear that you were with Calhoun, even showed me the ring on your finger that he engaged you," Ben pauses from talking and thins his lips as he stares at me.
"When I heard you went missing, I wanted to join Calhoun to find you, but his Beta stopped me."
"Even though you are mated to Calhoun, I still feel you're meant to be mine," Ben concludes, then takes his head away from mine so he can look at me.
"I can't believe I am mated to Calhoun, We're in love and you're still
nursing feelings for me," I blurt out, trying to create mental images of everything, but I cannot. "This is just hard to believe. Everything you just told me. But the excruciating pains and paralysis of limbs give out that it's true."
"Yeah. So that explains Calhoun's behavior towards you. He feels guilty that you suffered so much because he arrived late to rescue
you from Jack." Ben says.
"And my mother?" I ask, giving him a curious look.
"You two were always distant from each other. She hates you so much that if she sees you, her demeanor changes like a switch being turned on...I've seen her glaring at you a couple of times, mostly when you aren't looking."
And I can feel my eyes widening in their sockets. As much as I want this to be false, it sounds way too honest to be a lie. "Calhoun loved you more than he loved your mom, he chose you
over her. Ben looks at me with his blue eyes, and I wonder if I am
seeing things or if he's staring at me like I am the most precious thing in the world.
"I am being honest here because you asked for the truth. It wasn't
just sex between you and Alpha Calhoun, it was true love, aside from the fact that the moon goddess made you mates."
"Calhoun truly loved me more than my mother?" I ask, narrowing my eyes as I try to answer my question myself with a thought that fits it.
"Yes, I've seen him ignoring her all the time just to meet with you. There's been rumors that he hasn't gotten intimate with her since he met you. And it just worsens things for me," Ben's voice is calm, but the green vessels bulging out along his arm indicate that he's angry.
I know Ben likes me, maybe even he's truly in love with me as he confessed because whenever we talk about Calhoun he seems to get angry and overly jealous.
He just told me that Calhoun and I were in love, which I still find
hard to believe, but I feel it must have pained him to let all those
words out.
"I don't know what to do at this point. Doctor Seth said there's a way
to suck the venom out of your system, then you can regain your memory, and then shift into your wolf to stop paralysis. When I asked him what way, he chose not to tell me. Guess he doesn't want
me getting involved. I feel it's Calhoun who wants to do it because he's under Calhoun. I am not from this pack, I am from the Green-
Valley pack after all " Ben's voice rings out, slipping me out of my thoughts.
"Oh." That's all I can say.
"He's your mate after all, so they want him to suck out the venom
instead of me. Even though I will gladly do it." There is pain evident in his voice.
"I think you should drop this, Ben." My words are followed by a long awkward pause. With Ben's chest rising and falling like a balloon that got poked with a tiny needle.
I am beginning to get fed up with Ben saying all these. I'm still finding it hard to believe that Calhoun is truly in love with
me because it's the same Calhoun who refused to look at me when Bruce wheeled me into his office.
"I know when you regain your memory and things go back to
normal, I wouldn't even have a chance in your life. You will still choose Calhoun over me." He says quietly
The screeching sounds of cars indicate that Calhoun has arrived, and
my breath suddenly seized itself because all I can think of at this moment is him.
Calhoun is around. My mate.
"I wish you could see my heart right now, to know how much I care
for you," Ben tells me this, but my mind isn't here with him
anymore.
My mind keeps drifting over to Calhoun even when I don't want to.
And I look away from Ben because I can't manage to look at him any
further.
"I know you're thinking about him right now. He's back." "Ben, I think you should stop talking right now and leave," I say.
"Yeah, so he can come in and meet you."
"Just go." I groan through gritted teeth. If I can walk out myself, I
could've, because Ben is beginning to get annoying. He's letting his emotions control him right now, and it's worsening everything for me, making me feel even more pain.
Ben stands up with his head hanging low, along with his shoulders.
And I manage to look away from him despite the cast on my neck.
"On your way out, please call in Janette," I tell Ben, but he makes no response and starts heading towards the door.
When he gets to the door, he grabs hold of the doorknob and then throws me a glance through his shoulder.
I can see the hurt, longing, and wanting cloud eyes. And I suck
harshly in my breath, wondering how all these emotions are together in his eyes at once.
He finally looks away from me and closes the door behind him with a
soft thud.
And I don't know if I should feel guilty or not, because all I can think
about at this moment is no other person than Calhoun.
I have to go meet him.