Part Ninety-Nine

I unpacked the groceries and hid the condoms in the drawer next to my bed and then shook my head slightly. I should try and keep it professional, even if she unknowingly teased me no matter what she did. The condoms were an impulsive buy and now I felt stupid.

A while later, I drove over to Madison’s house but I didn’t ask Katiya to come. Being in a car alone with her didn’t seem like a good idea, not with my dick doing its own thing. I’d never had a problem like this before and the realization that I wanted to have sex with Katiya startled me.

It didn’t make my heart beat faster in that crazy, fearful way. My breath didn’t feel like lead in my lungs and the thought of her hands on me, had me aroused, rather than sweating and feeling disgusted. I had no idea what she was doing to me.

I could hear Kalen crying before I even knocked on the door and it opened when I turned the knob. Kalen’s stuff was everywhere and she was lying on the floor on her blanket and I could hear Madison cursing under her breath in the kitchen.

“Madison?” I called out and picked Kalen up.

“Oh, thank God you’re here,” she said, looking like she’d slept in her clothes.

“Bad night?” I asked her as Kalen stopped crying.

“You could say that again,” she said as she handed me the bottle.

I sat down on the couch and shifted Kalen in my arms as she started to drink from her bottle. Madison started to get her things together and packed both of her bags. She was staring pointedly at me when she sat down on the other couch.

“What?” I asked her. The look on her face wasn’t one I was used to and I just knew that whatever happened next, we weren’t going to have a nice heartfelt conversation.

“She’s the nanny, Madison,” she said sarcastically.

“I don’t …” She cut me off by raising her hand and her gaze damn near burned me with hate.

“It’s all over social media, you two kissing on the Ferris Wheel,” she said.

“She is the nanny,” I said.

“Yeah right,” she said.

“What’s it to you anyway?” I asked her, feeling defensive.

“I love you, Kage, we were married, and we have a daughter,” she said.

“Yes, were, we’re not married anymore,” I said.

“I still love you,” she said.

“Don’t,” I said.

“Do you really want us to be over?” she asked me.

“We’ve been over since the day Jared sent that picture to me,” I told her.

“And just like that you’re sleeping with the help,” she said.

“You don’t have any say in who I sleep with or who I spend my time with,” I said.

“So you are sleeping with her.” I didn’t like Madison’s tone and I didn’t appreciate her making Katiya sound cheap by calling her the help.

“No, I’m not. That kiss just happened,” I said not really knowing why I was explaining anything to her because I really didn’t love her anymore.

“I don’t feel comfortable having that woman watch my child,” she said.

“Get over it, Katiya stays and you don’t have any say in Kalen’s life, not where she goes to school, not who I have look after her and you certainly don’t have any say over my life,” I said as Kalen finished her bottle.

“Why are you so defensive?” she asked me.

“Because I’m trying to do the right thing here, Madison, be a mother to Kalen, because you and me, that’s never going to happen again,” I said as I stood up with Kalen.

“We have history, Kage, a special connection, we love each other,” she said.

“We have history, yes, and we share Kalen, that’s all we’ll ever share,” I said.

“Fine, go have fun with that whore,” she said, her voice full of venom. I was on the verge of completely losing my temper and if I did, things were going to get ugly between me and Madison.

“Madison! Stop! This isn’t you,” I said.

“You promised that you’d always love me, you promised to look after me,” she said close to tears now.

“I am looking after you but you broke my love for you. I did love you, Madison, I loved you more than I knew I could love somebody,” I said.

“Things will be different, we have no more secrets, we can be a family again, raise our daughter together,” she said.

“We’ll always be a family, Madison, because you are Kalen’s mother but I can’t go back,” I said.

“Kage … please,” she said.

“Madison, don’t do this yourself. Take care of yourself, focus on you, your dreams, you can go back to school, you can make your dreams a reality, go out on dates because you are special and a clean start with someone else will do you good,” I said.

“You are my dream,” she said.

“Madison …”

She was in front of me in an instant, her mouth on mine, her hands in my hair as she pushed me back against the couch and I had Kalen in my arms. I turned my face away from hers as she lowered her head and she started to cry.

“I’ll ask Endri and Luke to drop Kalen off in future,” I said as I pushed away from her and stood up with Kalen.

“Kage …” I ignored the begging sound in her voice and grabbed Kalen’s bags.

“Please look after yourself, we have a beautiful daughter that needs both of us,” I said and walked to the front door.

I left her apartment and I felt pity for Madison as I strapped Kalen into her seat. I had realized in that moment that I didn’t love her anymore and that made me feel free, free to be me again. Though I knew that I would always care about Madison in some way, I could never love her again.