Chapter 44

H A R R Y

“Honey?”

I pulled my head up and found mum standing along the doorway of the kitchen.

“Hey mum.” I greeted with a smile.

She begins to walk towards me, “You look exhausted.”

“I am. A little bit. Things are just crazy lately.”

“Is it about Lindy?” She questions while sitting down next to me.

“Sort of.”

“Why? Did you fight?”

“No.” I shake my head. “We’re fine. It’s just things that’s been going on with her life right now and I can’t help but blame myself for what she’s going through. Then there’s her mother who’s in a critical condition.”

“Oh Lord.” Mom commented while gasping. “What happened?”

“Before I came back here, her mom had to undergo surgery.”

“Well how is she? How is Lindy?”

“Lindy said her mom’s surgery was successful and she’s stable now. I’m more worried for Lindy. She’s going through so much. When her mom was admitted, her twin had to deliver her baby before her due date.”

“She’s one tough girl.”

I nod, “I know mom. I really admire her and I don’t want to feel like I am being a hindrance to her.”

Mom cups my face, “I want you to support her. Be there for her when she needs you. Do everything you can to show her that you are not something you think you are.”

“But…”

“Does she make you feel that way?”

I shake my head, “No. She never made me feel like that. She’s always been so understanding and loving. She never demands anything and I hate how she tries to worry about things on her own when she has me to support her.”

“Women are like that Harry.” She releases me and takes the glass of wine from my hand as mom continues, “There are some women who don’t want their partner to see them weak and vulnerable. There are also some women who don’t want to demand from their partner because they don’t want to feel too indebted.”

“But I’m suppose to be her partner and I want her to depend on me. What if she becomes to dependent that she realizes she no longer needs me, mom?” There was worry in my voice.

“You’re thinking too much Harry.”

I sigh heavily, “Maybe I am.”

“If she doesn’t demand from you that doesn’t mean she doesn’t needs you and that doesn’t mean you wont do anything for her. She doesn’t demand because she knows you’re Harry Styles and she knows that people would make something out of it if it goes out.” She smiles. “Lindy is a still a young girl who needs love, care, support and affection and you have to keep her fragility in tact.”

“Thank you mum.” I hug her.

The following days passed, Lindy’s mom was finally awake after her surgery and had been discharged two days after. Avery was discharged on the same day too but her child needed to stay in the hospital for a hundred more days for further treatments and intensive care since the baby was only born at eight months and a week.

Lindy flew back to New Haven Connecticut and had a lot of supplementary lessons for the classes she missed. I can’t be more proud of Lindy because the strength she has in going through all these is so admirable. I wish I had that kind of strength.

“How’s Lindy doing?” Louis as he joins me with Niall.

“She’s good.” I answer.

“I feel bad for her to be honest. She’s going through a lot in her pregnancy.” Niall says something that has been bothering me.

“Niall, instead of feeling that way, you have to appreciate her strength and not just feel bad. You have to motivate her you know?” Louis scolds.

“I’m just saying, Lou.” Niall responds.

“We all know she’s going through something pretty crucial and as her friends, we have to show her that we are there and that we have to motivate her.” Louis adds before he looks back at me, “Did she find out about the surgery fee?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Smart gal.” Louis commented.

“Boys we have to start.” A staff calls out to us and smiles.

“Time to roll.” Niall chimes.

I spent the day working on photo shoots, never-ending photo shoots, before I finally called it a day. I headed home straight after my busy schedule to spend time with Lindy through video call. She wanted to watch a movie together and I wouldn’t want to say no. After Canada, she has been awfully…. distant? Even though I kind of felt that she had been a little bit cold towards me, I didn’t want her to feel that I am cold too.

As soon as I got home, I stepped out of my car and entered the front door. I led myself to my bedroom to take a quick shower but right before I was to head upstairs, my eyes caught a glimpse of something unusual in the dining table. I went back to see it and there was a freaking red box with gold ribbon on top of the dining table.

“Gemma?” I hollered, thinking that she was home but then I realized that she was out of town for a vacation with her friends and mum had went back to Cheshire.

I walked to the red box where I was welcomed by a foul smell of rotten cheese and dried blood together. “Bloody hell what the fuck is that smell?” I cursed.

The smell was so bad that I had to cover my nose with my hand using the collar of my round neck t-shirt because it reeked. The unpleasant scent scattered all over the dining area and I already had a bad feeling about this.

Moreover, how did it get inside the house?

Gemma was left last night and mum had went to Cheshire in the morning. This won’t make sense because no one was home aside from me.

Who the hell placed it here?

I finally approached the box and there was a small rectangular card attached next to the ribbon. It smelled so bad that I just wanted to see what is inside and throw it away right after. Actually, I was hesitant in opening it but then curiosity killed the cat and I eventually decided to open this damned box.

I didn’t feel good already about this.

As soon as I took off the lid, I wasn’t able to hold myself and ran to the sink to vomit. I threw the lid to the floor and continued vomiting the contents of my stomach out. I let the water run while I continue feeling utterly disgusted seeing a dead baby fetus covered in dry blood all over without half of its skull.

“What a sick fucker!” I exclaimed angrily.”Who the fuck sent this?!”

I wiped my lips with the sleeve of my shirt and noticed that the lid was already lying on the floor. I picked it up still agonizing with the awful smell and pulled out the small note from the small rectangular envelope.

It says: “Let me remind you of something that you first had with me. -Jolene”

Out of anger, I crumpled the small note. I got instantly angry with the thought that someone is using Jolene’s name and copy her exact handwriting to threaten me by using my past and to scare Lindy.

Shit, Lindy!

If I received the first box and she did too then that means she will receive this as well.

“Holy crap what the actual fuck is that smell!”

I quickly pulled my head up and found Gemma stepping inside the kitchen.

My brows creasing, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Weren’t you supposed to be on a vacation or something?”

“I got stomach flu and it was really bad so I decided not to go.” She says.

“You’re lying.”

She rolled her eyes at me before she eyes the opened gift. “What is that--”

“Nothing.” I cut her off and rushed towards the red box to cover it. “I’ll dispose it.”

“Let me see it.”

“No.” I fought back.

“Let me see so I could know why it smells like shit.”

“It smells bad that’s why it needs to be disposed!”

I froze the moment her eyes landed on the small note which is now on the floor. It freaking slipped from my hand and now she is about to read it. Gemma was quick t o grab it before me and flipped it over. Her eyes widened as soon as she read what was written on it before she looks back at me.

“Let me remind you of something that you first had with me.” Gemma reads before she pulled her head up to me. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” I lied.

“Jolene?” She asks.

I didn’t answer. I just can’t answer.

“That came from Jolene?” She asks and eyes it again. “Isn’t it the same box from the last time?”

I couldn’t answer and I don’t want to because she is going to get so mad at me.

“Isn’t she dead? How come she is sending you gifts?” She asks again, questions that I have been meaning to know myself.

I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

“But she’s dead right?” She repeats.

I nod slowly.

There was silence and as smart as Gemma, I know her curious mind is already working. She is already thinking and having guesses about what could be inside this thing.

“Let me see what’s inside Harry.” Her voice stern.

I sigh and shake my head sideways, “You don’t have to see it.”

“I want to! What is inside that damned box!?”

“It’s just rubbish!”

“Let me fucking see!” She demanded.

I had no choice but to show it to her after she forced me to. As soon as her eyes stared on the content of the box, she was belching her stomach and rushes to the sink like I did. She looked totally disgusted while her eyes looked at me angrily.

“Was that a freaking fetus?” She gapes.

I nod.

“Get that shit out of here! That’s bloody disgusting!” She exclaims.

I quickly disposed the box to the bigger bin which was a distant from the house before I went back inside. I find Gemma spraying aerosol all over the kitchen and the dining table while she was still recovering from the horrible smell.

When we settled and the smell had subsided, Gemma finally speaks, “Why was a fetus in there?” Her voice sends a tremble over my spine.

“I don’t know.”

“You do know but you are hiding it from me!”

“Gemma I cannot tell you! And I wont tell you!” I began to leave her, “I’m going to bed because I am tired and--”

“Did you have an affair with her you asshole?” She cuts me off.

I halted and couldn’t face her. I was too embarrassed and too scared to actually face her because I know how close she was with Jolene.

“Did you or did you not?!” Her voice echoes throughout the house.

I sigh, “I did.”

She scoffs and laughs humorlessly, “You little bastard!!”

I face her, “I’m sorry okay?! I’m sorry if I had an affair with her! Gemma I have been fucking guilty the past years for what I have done to her and what happened to her that night! All these years, I always blame myself that even if I try to pray for her eternal peace, there’s still that fucking voice in my head!!”

She breathes heavily, “Did you have a child with her? Was that what that fetus mean inside the box?!”

I nod.

“Oh my God Harry!” She exclaims and walks towards me. “She died that night because Leo found out about the child.”

I nod.

“And he knew about your affair with her.”

I nod again.

“He killed them both.”

I answer a nod. “If... If only I didn’t push her away when she told me that she was pregnant with my child then they would still be alive now. If I didn’t tell her to…. to…” I trailed off. “To have abortion then she wouldn’t feel so bad.”

Gemma smacks my arm so strongly, “Is that what mum taught you?!”

I pulled my head up, “I had to save myself and my career from embarrassment!”

“Did mum ever taught you to disrespect a girl like that?! Did she teach you to be less of a man by being an irresponsible father?!”

“Gemma I was torn between so many things and I was so young back then!”

Then you should have thought beforehand about getting in that kind of fucking mess!”

“I know it’s all my fault! It’s all my fault and I let her down!” I gestured with my hands. “You don’t have to make me feel even worst because I have been living with regret and guilt for the past years! Can you at least try to understand me?!”

She didn’t answer and just shook her head, “Well three years of living in regret and guilt is still not enough for the lives that ended that night because of your own irresponsible and reckless actions.” She spat and walked away from me.