04 Maybe we're this school’s first gay couple.

Rohan and I didn't talk as we sat on our shared bench. The whole class was making a noise under the pretext of "talking" in hushed voices. But we were just silent. Not talking to each other and not to anyone else. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable, yet it felt like there was vacuum engulfing me. Us. Rohan had his head down and resting on his arms. The same position in which I first saw him.

Without my permission, my eyes drifted to him. But I was shocked to death when I saw that Rohan's head was tilted in my direction and that his eyes were on me, a slight tint of curiosity colouring his shiny black eyes. Wait. Did I just say shiny? Oh my god! His eyes weren't blank! They were shining! Glinting even. Shut up woman. Of course he’s human and entitled to show emotions. Don't start a victory dance just for that.

I wasn't dancing!

Pffft, I'm you. I know what's happening inside this circus brain of yours.

Would you shut up and leave me alone?

I will, once you stop behaving like an utter moron.

And by calling me a moron, you called yourself a moron.

This is the best comeback you could come up with?

Well... no. No! I can come up with mega, super duper comebacks.

Uh huh.

I used all of my strength to push that annoying voice to the very dark, colourless, lonely part of my mind. I mean, who the hell had conversations with themselves? That was insane! I seriously need a doctor's help. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and focused on the matter at hand. Which was Rohan, of course. Reflexively (yeah, I paid attention in biology), my eyes glanced at him, only to find him still staring at me, the same curiosity filled his black eyes.

Why was he staring at me, a supposed boy, like that? Why? Maybe he was gay?

No, you judging idiot.

Not knowing what else to say to distract myself from my awkward, overreacting state, I settled for an apology.

"Rohan?" I said, but my voice sounded like a frog's croak, so I cleared my throat awkwardly.

Wow, Uthra. How do you even manage to do that? No one even had to insult you. Your own stupid self was enough to make you look ridiculous.

"Mhmm?" he asked lightly, and though it might very well have been my imagination, he sounded warm.

Nah, of course I’d imagined it. Yep.

I felt Rohan's gaze on me which felt like something was stroking me. Awkward. With another throat clearing, I decided to talk. "I'm sorry, Rohan, you know, for waking you like... that," I said, my head lowered till it was almost touching my chest. Even though I felt like apologising to clear the silence and start a conversation, I felt really apologetic. Because I knew how shrill and loud my whistle was, and no one should be startled like that, especially not the weak of heart. And Rohan seemed to be on the weak of heart side. So much for his “delinquent” reputation.

My eyes drifted towards him to find him looking at me, clear surprise evident in his face. No mask. There was... an emotion.

"Why would you apologize?" he asked as he slowly straightened into a sitting position.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "Maybe it was rude? I mean, it's not like I'm your best friend or anything. Just extra baggage sharing a room with you." And I felt Rohan's black eyes soften.

"It's okay. If you hadn't pulled that stunt on me, I would've been late for class. Like always."

There was a half-stretched shy smile playing on his lips and that spontaneously brought a huge smile to my face. Aw, talk about cute. Rohan's eyes carried some emotion as he looked at my answering smile. But I didn't bother hiding it. Because... I don't know, it felt like some kind of victory that I made this guy give a shy smile while everyone portrayed him as if he never did anything or reacted to anything, like he was a living robot.

Just then, the teacher came in and and started the roll call. With a very contented heart and a sense of accomplishment, I settled in for the rest of the day.

*

*

*

"Well... this is a lot of notebooks to carry..." I whined as I took in the amount of notebooks stacked in front of me. Ryan laughed that hearty laugh of his which made me smile. Really, I was a goner when it came to warm laughs.

"First time hearing a guy say that," he said in between chuckles and my smile slowly vanished.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Uthra!

"Ha ha..." I dragged, glancing at Ryan, "ha."

Ryan burst out laughing.

"Was that a laugh?" He asked, his voice high and a little strained from the laugh.

"Uh... I think ha, ha and ha is described as a laugh so... I guess I just laughed now," I said as I scratched my neck, with only one thought in my mind: escape.

Ryan laughed again as he ruffled my hair. Well, “ruffle” would be putting it lightly. It felt more like a dog pawing at my hair.

"Bruv, you are freaking funny!"

"Oh really?" I muttered as I began filling my bag with the notes that the school had provided me via my class president. I was embarrassing the hell out of myself and these guys thought I was funny. Whatever.

"Hey Ryan?" Some boy called from the entrance of our empty class. "Vice wants to see you."

"And what does he want now?" Ryan muttered, sighing.

"Dunno. Go see for yourself!" the boy yelled before hurrying down the corridor.

"Well mate, see ya later," he said, once again pawing at my head, "busy man here."

"Man?" I asked mockingly and Ryan winked.

"Aye. Man." With that, Ryan was out of sight in a jiffy.

I packed everything and exited the class after checking whether all the fans and lights were off. As I walked near the gates of the school, I saw Rohan hunched on the ground, a whole lot of papers around him. The school was empty by now and no one was there to help him pick up the papers scattered on the ground around him. Throwing my school bag down, I started picking up the papers, which were moving in all directions because of the wind.

Rohan looked at me and gave me a nod of acknowledgement as we continued picking up the papers. After about two minutes of running around the school's courtyard to catch the papers, we had them all safely in our hands. "Thank you very much," Rohan said, his trademark low voice on display. And yet he sounded genuinely thankful. I laughed as we walked out of the school together.

"Nah, it's alright, mate," I said, thumping his shoulders. It felt very strange to thump the shoulders of a guy who was so much taller than me, and yet it felt surprisingly nice. Rohan didn't say anything and just gave a nod. Not much of a conversation, but he was responding, right?

We reached our dormitory with me carrying my school bag which weighed tons and Rohan with his light-looking school bag and some slightly dirty papers tucked under his arm. Upon entering the main door, we saw some of the boys standing there, looking surprised. One guy even straightened his leaning position and dramatically took a lollipop from his mouth. And man, it felt like a cliche scene from a crappy chick flick. As we proceeded to walk to our room, all the guys looked as if a mammoth had just entered the dorm. They were nudging each other, whispering or simply staring at us. And let me tell you, as amusing as it looked, it still felt uncomfortable. Like, very uncomfortable.

"Um... why are they looking at us like that?" I whispered as I tiptoed, trying to come even a little closer to his ear. Rohan's face looked as hard as a statue with his locked jaws and a vein popping out along his temple.

"Ask them," he replied carelessly and I rolled my eyes. Reaching our room and disappearing from their eyes felt like a great relief. If this was the look Rohan got every day, then I pitied him. Very much.

*

*

*

"Rohan..." I called at the boy whose eyes were almost closed, our biology book spread in front of him.

I got a grunt as a reply. It was time for dinner. Rohan and I weren't really chatty-chatty in our room, nor in our class. The little warmth that Rohan had shown me vanished after the staring event on our way back to our room three days back. And now I was kind of worried about talking to him, even to wake him to take him to the dining hall. What if he yelled at me?

Gathering my courage, I called him again. But this time not even a grunt answered me. I got annoyed. How can he sleep all the freaking time? Huffing, I pushed my sleeves to my elbows and went near him. If he wouldn’t wake up, I’d drag him to dinner. I put his left hand around my shoulder and even though it still felt strange to have guys' arms around me, I kicked the uneasiness into a corner and pulled him up to his feet.

I'm a boy here. So I may as well psychologically start behaving like one.

"What the hell are you doing?!" a startled voice pulled me from my resolution speech.

"Trying to take you to the dining hall," I said cheerfully as I kept pulling him towards the door, even though he was completely awake now.

Rohan pushed me away and corrected his shirt. His face was a screen of annoyance, and I was overjoyed upon seeing that. Five days here and I had seen his face depict surprise, fury, annoyance, and a teeny weeny bit of warmth which, as you all know, he didn't show to others ever. How cool is that?

An annoyed voice suggested, Of course he shows emotions. He is, after all human, genius, and as you know, humans tend to show what they feel in their heart on their face. So right now, Rohan is annoyed at you which, as any sane person would know, is NOT cool.

Just shut the heck up.

I seriously need to do something about this voice.

"And why would you do that?" Rohan asked, pulling me from my internal conflict with myself.

"Because we are roomies, moron," I said, flashing the best smile I could muster up at Rohan.

Either Rohan was really good at masking his emotions or nothing could ever affect him. Because that guy started walking away without saying anything, his face a blank canvas. It sort of stung when he ignored me when I went out of my way to make him talk. But something in me had a taken a liking to this boy and the high-spirited part of me which didn't like to give up on things wasn't deterred by his indifference.

So I followed him with high spirits, humming a tune. Once we reached the dining hall, nearly the whole student body inside there turned their heads to see us. Even the guys standing in the queue. Rohan did not glance anywhere as he made his way to the line and took a plate. And he did something very surprising.

He handed me a plate.

Yep. You heard it right.

Me.

Wow.

To say I was surprised would be the understatement of the month.

"Th—thanks," I stuttered as I took the plate from his long fingers, my hands shaking embarrassingly. Rohan gave me a curt nod before turning to proceed down the line. I looked around to see all the guys watching this with disbelief slapped across their faces.

They say girls are the people who bother with staring at something this intensely and gossip amongst themselves. But this dormitory proved the accepted norm wrong. These guys freaking gossip. And let me tell you, that's weird. Like, super weird.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Hrithik-anna and Karan-anna enter. "Sup," Hrithik-anna said, loudly clapping his hands. All the eyes on Rohan turned towards Hrithik. "Did I miss anything?" he asked with that same loudness. "Did Rohan perform an act or something that’s got you all looking at him without batting an eyelash?" No one answered as Hrithik-anna looked from one face to another. It was funny to see how all these tall, well-built guys squirmed under Hrithik-anna's authoritative, strong gaze.

Finally some guy in the crowd shouted a “no.”

"I see..." Hrithik-anna drawled as he looked around the room once again, his gaze as stern as Hitler's. "So why are you all looking at him as if he just kissed a fish?" No one answered and Hrithik-anna's face hardened. "Stop being gossiping queens and do what you came here for, you maggots. Eat," he spat and made his way to the line and took a plate, standing behind me. Karan-anna looked utterly bored as he, too, joined the queue.

Hrithik-anna didn't glance at me or greet me. His eyes were fixated on the back of Rohan's head and his face was emotionless. I sighed internally. Maybe all the guys here had gotten a master's degree in Poker Faces. "Yo, shortie," someone called, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked at the owner of the voice to find Karan-anna looking at me, a crooked grin on his face.

"Hi," I replied as I gave him my watery smile. A smile reserved only for this guy. "And I've said already that the name's Uthra and not Shortie."

Karan-anna's grin widened. This guy and his expressions reminded me of something... I just couodn't put a finger on it.

"And I've said that I like calling you Shortie," he said with a mocking drawl. In the three days after my initial two days, he had been calling me Shortie, and even though I'd asked him to stop it, he wouldn't. Moron.

"Grow up, anna" I said, exasperated. "Go find another person to toy with."

"But no one's as short as you."

"That's not my problem," I muttered.

By now, Rohan was almost at the head of the queue and Hrithik-anna's casual look had returned. He was looking at me and Karan-anna with amusement.

"You know a famous saying, eh, shortie?" Karan-anna asked.

"Nope," I said, glaring. Shortie, shortie--yeah I was short but I wasn’t that short. I extended my plate to be filled and followed Rohan, who was looking for a totally free table.

Hrithik and Karan-anna followed us with their own plates and I turned to hear what Karan-anna had to say. "They say that guys like to make fun of girls they like very much," he said with his crooked grin, emphasizing his words meaningfully.

My blood went cold and everything around me seemed to freeze. My legs went very weak and before I could balance myself, my knees buckled under me. I waited for a thump and clatter but Rohan held me by my arm in an iron grip and Hrithik-anna caught my plate before its contents could decorate the floor.

"Whoa, shortie, you okay?" Karan-anna asked and there was only concern written all over his face. Not any hint of what his words meant.

"Yeah," I said, and my voice sounded breathy. I cleared my throat. "I'm alright. Just... hunger. Yes. I'm very hungry."

Rohan let my hand go but his eyes were on my face, still emotionless. Hrithik-anna gave me a smile and Karan-anna... well, he was busy laughing at my face.

"Well, I thought you fainted hearing me referring you as a girl," he said and I heard his seizure-like laughter.

Well, you'll faint when you come to know that in fact I am a girl.

"First you call me short and now a girl," I said through gritted teeth. "This isn't funny, anna."

"See?" Karan-anna said, his crooked grin growing even wider. I wonder how his lips haven't torn apart by now.

"See what?" I barked as I glanced at Rohan who was walking towards an empty table at the other end of the hall.

"You call me anna," he said, and I looked at him with an expression that said Are you kidding me?

But Karan-anna continued. "Which boys don't actually do after a certain age. They don't really call immediate seniors 'anna'."

"And that's enough to call me names?" I asked with an exasperated sigh.

"Not names," Hrithik-anna chirped in. "He called you a girl."

"Thanks, brother." Karan-anna grinned at him and I wanted to punch him.

"Which is an insult, if you hadn't noticed," I muttered. (I know I’m a girl. But a boy wouldn't be happy to be called a girl, okay? Okay? Okay.)

"We’ll leave that," Karan-anna said but I glanced to where Rohan was sitting.

"Boyfriend will wait, shortie," he said smirking and I gave him my death glare.

"Well the point is, you are short. You call seniors 'anna,’ you are soft—"

"Excuse me," I interrupted angrily, but he chose to ignore me.

"Your hands aren't tough at all. And mainly, you have no facial hair."

"I shave every day," I said, sticking my nose high up in the air.

"Which is so manly," Karan-anna said sarcastically.

"Karan, I think that’s enough," said Hrithik-anna as he pushed Karan-anna to the opposite side of where Rohan was seated, towards their usual table. "Save something for tomorrow." Even though Karan-anna looked like he wanted to stay there insulting me, he took a step back and gave me the same crooked grin.

"Later gator," he said, raising an imaginary hat before he turned. I rolled my eyes as I walked towards where Rohan was seated.

Karan-anna wasn't mean or anything. He meant everything lightheartedly, but he and his crooked pirate’s grin were annoying as hell.

Oh, wait a second. Pirate. Yeah! That's the correct word to describe him. A modern-day pirate, with brushed teeth and trimmed hair. Oh my holy macaroni with extra cheese! Pirate was the absolute right word to describe Karan... anna.

Argh, I could never name a senior without anna following after.

"Sorry," I said as I sat across from Rohan, "Karan-anna held me up." Rohan didn't glance up from his plate. But that was expected. So I started eating.

"It's okay," I heard Rohan say softly. I raised my head so fast that I wouldn’t have been surprised if my neck had ended up sprained. Rohan continued eating as if he hadn't said anything but I knew I heard it right. He’d replied. I smiled. Rohan glanced up and my smile widened.

"Stop looking at me like that," he whispered, and even though I’d heard what he’d said, I wanted him to talk louder. His voice was special. And I didn't want him to waste it in whispers.

"What?" I asked. "Didn't hear what ya said."

"I told you to stop looking at me like that," he said a little louder. It was still hushed.

"Sorry bud. Didn't catch what you said. Come again?"

"I asked you—" he sounded exasperated "—to stop looking at me like that!"

He half-yelled and people sitting at the tables around us glanced at us. Rohan looked at them and they turned away hastily.

"This okay?" he asked and I grinned widely.

"Double okay," I said, flashing him a thumbs up.

I fumbled inside my right pant pocket to get hold of the few candies I always have there.

"It should be here somewhere..." I mumbled as I continued fumbling.

Rohan looked at me with a little amusement. To anyone watching, it would've looked like nothing. But from the five days I’d spent reading him closely, I had started picking up on mild expressions like these. At last I got hold of the candy and I pulled it out with a victorious smile. "Ta da," I said cheerfully as I showed him a chocolate, which was a little squishy from staying in my pocket. Rohan didn't make an attempt to take it from me and simply raised his left eyebrow. "It's a prize," I explained as I took his hand and placed it on his palm.

"For...?" he asked, a little louder than his usual hushed tone. Improvement.

"For talking out loud," I said, grinning.

Rohan looked at me blankly. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," I replied, winking.

Rohan looked at me for a second as if he was debating what to reply, but then withdrew his hand from mine and went back to eating. I smiled again.

Coming here was forced. I had no choice but to come here if my family was to have a dignified, comfortable life. Uncle portrayed Rohan as if he was a major delinquent and if I was being honest, the thought of befriending him wasn't really nice. But coming here, I saw he wasn't a troubled kid or a spoilt heir. He was lonely. He was awkward. And he was just a shy kid who was misunderstood by society. I may not have known him for a long time, but the spark in his once-blank, black eyes didn't belong to someone bad.

"You sure this isn't expired?" Rohan asked me as he pointed to the candy I gave him.

"You wouldn't die even if it was," I said, laughing, and Rohan gave me an exasperated look before tossing the candy into his mouth like an expert. Seeing the light, carefree look through the tiny crack in his mask of stoicism, I realised one thing. Coming here was compulsory. But I damn sure didn't regret it.