Chapter 48

Juliette's POV:

People walked past me as I walked the five-foot path towards the bus stop. Out in Melbourne, I inhaled in the air as I walked towards the stop, hoping to catch a bus to the State Library of Victoria. Catching the glimpse of the bus that was going to stop, I hurried my pace and thankfully I was the second person to climb into the bus out of all the people who crowded behind me for the bus. I took the second-row seat of the bus, as it looked to be the only vacant seat, and slipped closer to the window looking out of the running bus.

Four months has passed since I moved back with Dad to New York, and then within two weeks, I ended up deciding that I would be moving to Melbourne, Australia with Kiara. I wanted to be away from all those painful and stinging memories of both the men who I dedicated my heart. I still don’t blame them, but myself because I knew I was the only one to be blamed for all the things that happened in my life.

First, I couldn't believe I ever fell in love with a fake person, and second, I was dumb enough to fall in love once again with a person who looked at me as a responsibility, or should I say a deal, that he was bound to look after. I managed to get my already broken heart ripped into more pieces, when I could have taken some time and mended it back; but curse my fate for making me fall head over heels for a man who never really thought of me more than a deal.

I pressed the bell in the bus when I saw my destination, and as the bus came to a halt, I walked down the stairs and walked towards the library. Moving to Melbourne with Kiara turned out to be the best decision that I have ever made in my life. Away from my home, away from my relative's sympathetic glances, because they still think I was the victim in that marriage, and most importantly, away from those memories of where I met both of them for the first time in my life. Though the second one was more dramatic and convincing of how my life has turned out after that.

Kiara and my mom have been supporting me, whilst Dad still keeps on ranting that his decision to bring me back, away from all the criminals, was correct. He has decided that he won’t ever put his foot back in that dark world, for it brought nothing but pain to his beloved family. That's why when I first told him that I wanted to move with Kiara to Melbourne, he was the first one to support me in my decision, and he helped me shift. Even though it’s been four months, still I just can’t forget anything. His face, smile, and eyes are just plastered in my mind, and it’s like no matter how much I tried to forget him, I can't.

Averting my mind to books and research relaxed my brain and made me forget about all that has happened to me. I made my way towards the library hall and walked to the lady behind the counter to reissue the book that I have been reading recently. The book was ‘Beyond Good and Evil’ by Friedrich Nietzsche. It was a philosophical book, and it kept me busy from my chaotic world. As the lady gave the book back to me, I went to find a spot to sit down and read it. I have already reached the last pages of the book, and I wanted to finish it badly. As I was about to finish, I heard my phone beep. I was slightly embarrassed as the readers near me looked at me with an annoying look; I muttered a quiet sorry and fished the phone out of the bag to find a text message from Kiara. What does she want, when she clearly knows I’m in the library?

Kiara: “Come back home as fast as you can!”

“Why? What happened?”

I turned the sound off and put the phone next to me on the table, continuing with my book, but then the lights of my phone blinked indicating a text message.

“Just come back home, after you are done with your book.”

“Fine! I’ll be there in an hour though!”

“Okay.”

After that, I put the phone back in the bag, hoping no one would disturb me until I finished the book. It took me twenty minutes to finally finish it. As I was done, I couldn’t help but think about how the author of the book wanted his readers to know about noble souls. The last poem pulled me completely into it, because it was about a noble soul sitting on a mountaintop, wishing he had more friends. Unknowingly, the book brought back sour memories. It somehow indicated the situation I was in. Even though I had Kiara as my friend, I found myself lonely. It even gave me that daunting feeling where I constantly find myself in a place where I keep on imagining I’ll be left alone for the rest of my life. As much as it seems scary, it is the truth.

Someday, Kiara will be moving on with her life, wanting to create her own beautiful and happy life with her husband and kids. I’m just her friend, and as she is my only friend, I shall be left alone with nothing but rusty memories. But then I slapped my forehead, thinking I was just being melodramatic, pulling myself into an ocean of weird thoughts that people called philosophy.

After I returned the book, I left the library and went back towards the road. I wanted to walk back, just spending some time with myself, even though I had been doing the same thing the past few months. It was only me with myself. Catching the bus back home, I finally reached home. Kiara and I rented a house in Melbourne. It was a spacious four bedroom house, but the reason we chose to it was because the house was surrounded by land, which gave us space to roam. I loved to roam until late night in the garden and sit near the glass door that faced it. It was even more comfortable because the police station was close, and the police officers continued patrolling the area late at night. It made us feel safe, and our neighbors were Kiara’s friends.

I used my key to get in, but as soon as I got in, something was thrown on my face, and stunned by it, a squeak escaped my mouth.

“You said an hour, but look at the time! It's already been two hours. What took you so long?” Kiara yelled at me, as if she was my mother.

“Sorry, mom!” I rolled my eyes at her and looked down at what she threw in my face.

“Where did you get this from?” I asked, trailing my finger over the green and black body-con dress.

“Do you like it?”

I heard yet another voice and looked towards the source to find Mariana walking to us from the living room. She was one of our neighbors.

“Hey Mariana,” I greeted and walked closer to Kiara, who took the dress away from me.

“I bought it for you,” she said and I looked at her in confusion.

“What? But why?” I asked the blonde woman as she smiled, showing her dimples, moving her eyes towards Kiara.

“Kiara!”

“What? Oh yeah! She went out shopping, so I gave her your measurements and told her to buy you a dress on her way back home,” Kiara answered, and handed the dress back to Marianna.

“Yeah, but why?” I asked.

“Because we are going out tonight; guess where?” she asked, her eyes shining with mischief.

“To the club!” she threw her hands up in the air excitedly, and like a kid ran back into her bedroom.

“Kiara!” I followed her.

“I am not goi—”

“Oh cut that 'I’m not going' crap. You are coming, and that’s final!” she said, and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Look I’m just not interested. I don’t want to go, but you all can go,” I said, and looked back when Marianna walked in.

“I have had just enough of you Juliette!” Kiara bellowed in agony.

“Do you even look at yourself? Oh my God! Juliette,” she walked up to me and turned me around, grabbing my arms, and I looked at myself in the mirror.

“Look at yourself! Just look! You have ruined yourself. And you know what? You are keen on ruining yourself and you know it! Look at those eye bags because of your sleepless nights. Do you think we don’t know that you spend the whole night in the living room, or roam around in the garden? Marianna has seen it, Eve has also seen it from her window; do you think we are stupid? Do you think that roaming and crying the whole night will change everything? For God’s sake, move on!”

“Your life isn’t over, but you are the one who is keen on destroying your own life! What is your age? You are not even old enough to think that you have accomplished every goal in your life, so now you just sit near the fireplace enjoying and reminiscing on the happier days of your life. You’re even worse than a coward. Giving up on life so easily!” She turned me around to face her.

“So what if he loves someone else? So what if your marriage didn’t work? You fell in love for the second time for God’s sake. Second time. Don’t forget that asshole, Nicholas. But still, when you could fall in love with the man who never really reciprocated his feelings, then why can’t you just move on and fall in love again?” She clutched her hair, frustrated, and bit her upper lip, dismayed by her own words.

“But I never really loved Nicholas, and that is what Zachary made me realize!” Tears pooled up in my eyes, and I looked down, hiding my tears, feeling ashamed.

“Oh Juliette,” I heard Marianna whisper.

“Look Juliette!” Kiara held my face and made me look at her.

“Your life isn’t over,” she said with determination in her voice. She enunciated each word, as if she was trying to get it into my mind.

“Do you hear me? Your life isn’t over. Stop punishing yourself when it’s not even your fault, God dammit. Do you think being melodramatic, forcing yourself not to sleep, crying countless nights thinking you failed in love, emerging yourself into philosophical and strange books, forcing yourself to stay away from everyone, will help you?”

“No! It won’t, but in fact, do you know what you have done?” she asked and looked at Marianna, who nodded at her.

“You have pushed away the ones who were actually close to you. You pushed people away who actually loved and cared for you. Ever thought about your mother? She calls me every day, wanting to know about you. What do you do? You avoid her calls, because you don’t want her to know that you are still suffering. Do you think that doesn’t hurt her? She is your mother, you idiot. If not your mother, then who do you even expect to think and care for you? Mr. Zachary Udolf Sullivan?” She glared at me while speaking.

“You know what? It’s not even his fault! You never really told him that you...” she pointed her finger at me. “Actually love him. How in the world would he have known? I told you multiple times to go and tell him but yo—”

“Stop! Just stop!” I put my hands on my ears, not wanting to hear it.

“Oh you have to listen!” She forced me to listen to her as she pulled my hands away from my ears.

“It’s all your faul—”

“I know that it’s my fault! Do you understand? So stop lecturing me! I know that it’s entirely my fault, because I was stupid enough to fall in love with a man who never really liked me, let alone ever spoke good about me. So just stop making me feel even more guilty,” I cried and walked to the bed and sat on the edge, putting my elbows on my knees and hiding my face in my hands.

“See? Did you see that Marianna? She still doesn’t get it!” I heard Kiara complaining to Marianna.

“I know! Just relax,” Marianna spoke.

“She just doesn’t get that at least we care for her,” Kiara’s voice broke at the end, and even though I heard her, I refused to look at her.

“Her mother cries for her, her brother worries for her, her father thinks about her, and here I am like a fool! I’m just wandering around her. Every day it has been a chore for me to make her eat something, drag her to bed to sleep, thinking that she would be sick if she doesn’t get some rest. Do you know that like a clown, I try to make her smile by acting foolish around her? Every single night I read jokes from the internet, thinking that I'll tell them to her the next day at breakfast; I don’t really think I'll get her to laugh, but I always hope for a smile! But you know what she does? She ignores me and plays with her food until it becomes cold, and finally she throws it into the trash. To my foolish jokes, all I get is a nod and a quiet hum. I am just nobody,” Kiara spoke, and finally broke down into tears with Marianna consoling her.

“I go to work and when I come back tired and fed up with the world, I have to deal with her in the house. You know she can’t cook! It’s totally fine with me, but I can cook. When I come back, expecting that she would have eaten whatever I made for her, do you know what I get? I find my food untouched. That's what she does, every single day. She thinks only she has a miserable life. What about me? Does she care about me? Does she ever ask how I am? Does she even know the reason I moved to Melbourne, away from everyone, was because my parents split up!?" She yelled in frustration and as I heard that, my head automatically whipped in her direction.

“What? Shocked? Are you thinking why I have never told you this? Well, guess what, I tried! I fucking tried! But you ignored me and continued to be drawn into your melodramatic shitty world,” she snapped at me.

“My parents never really married each other. And my mom is not even my mother. I learned this after you were with Zachary. I was born to Mrs. Delilah Richmond, but not to Ms. Lizzie Richmond. My real mother left me with my father because she found out about his extra-marital affair with his secretary. She left a newborn behind, and devastated that she failed her marriage, she fled away. But thankfully, my father understood that she was his actual love of his life, and he didn’t marry his secretary. He kept her with him, making the whole world believe that she was his actual wife. Thankfully, Lizzie who I have been thinking as my mom my entire life is far better than my real mother, and she loved me more than my own mother ever could have. I actually feel bad for her, because what did she ever get? Nothing! My father never married her, and she never really had any child of her own because of health problems. My real mother fled because she couldn’t bear the betrayal and hurt she felt, but in all this, she forgot about me. I just can’t even believe my father. I just don’t understand this shit. Infidelity is the cause of the situation we are in today,” she cried.

“But still, in all this chaos, I kept on thinking about you; thinking that one day you will look right at me, and you will help me deal with the situation. But all I have been doing is waiting. I have just been waiting and waiting for you to move on, to come back to us, but no—you are just too busy with your own life. What is this?” she yelled, as Marianna tried to relax her.

“Fine! if you can’t help me, I won’t help you. Why should I waste my life with all this? I want to be happy, and I will make sure nobody gets in my way, between me and my happiness. I have had just enough of everyone,” I watched as she angrily wiped her eyes and walked to the mirror and searched for something.

She picked the eyeliner up and attempted to apply it on her eyes, but failed miserably with the liner smudging onto her eyelids, because of her trembling hand and continuous blinking eyes, as she forcibly stopped herself from crying any further.

“I said I will go to the club today and I will. I don’t care if you come or not. But me? I have made up my mind. I will not let anyone ruin the time of my life. I am going to enjoy it, and nobody can stop me. I don’t car—” she stopped, and all of a sudden burst out into tears and angrily scribbled on the mirror using the liner.

“Oh, Kiara!” Marianna tried to stop her, but she threw the liner on the floor, spilling the black liquid on the ground, and ran into the bathroom.

“Juliette,” Marianna looked at me, begging me through her eyes.

I wiped my face and stood up from the bed, grabbing the dress that was on the chair. Walking into the bathroom, I watched as Kiara continuously splashed water to her face.

“I don’t have any shoes to wear with this dress,” I said, after I cleared my throat to get her attention.

She stopped splashing the water and turned the tap off as she looked at me through the mirror. She kept both of her hands on the counter and looked at me cautiously with red puffy eyes.

“Wear mine then,” she said, and it was enough for me to throw my arms around her neck as I put my head on her shoulder and hugged her, saying countless sorry’s for my behavior.

“Forgive me. I am so sorry. I was ignorant,” I said and she put one of her hands on my back and patted me lightly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

“I have decided!” I pulled away from her and wiped her face, using my right hand.

“No more crying. Truly speaking, I also have had enough! I’m tired now and even though I can’t forget anything, I’ll try my best to move on,” I said, and watched as the sides of her lips curved up.

“Really?” she asked slowly.

“Yes. After all, as you said, I am young,” I winked at her and she laughed.

“It’s going to be the best day of our lives,” she smiled.

“Of course it will be! So should I take it that everything is okay between you two now?” Marianna asked, poking her head into the bathroom.

“Yeah!” we said in unison.

“So shall I call Eve and Tess now? They have been waiting the whole day for the club,” she told us excitedly, and I nodded. She smiled and pulled the phone out of her pocket and called them to our house.

They were at our house in just five minutes. All they did was to run to our house, as they were our neighbors.

“Alright! To the best day of our lives,” Tess said, as she offered her hand to us and we followed her. Like school kids, we put our hands on her and cheered shouting and laughing with each other.

After that, we had a home beauty session, including manicures and pedicures. We helped each other with makeup and got ready just in time. Eve was going to drive us there and for that, we were all truly grateful to her. A cab was a bad idea, and we made a deal that none of us would drink like drunkards. We'd only drink as long as we could hold ourselves, and come out of the club totally fine.

Eve was actually engaged and her fiancé was a doctor, so he couldn’t join us because of his work. Tess’s boyfriend also wasn't going to tag along because she warned him that it was a girl’s night out. Marianna and Kiara were like me, no boyfriends.

I looked at myself. Tess had curled my torso-length wild hair, which added even more volume to my hair, and I actually looked different.The cucumber remedy was actually worth it. My dark circles minimized, and the concealer did a great job at hiding it. The dress clung to me like a second skin; but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The hemline was right above my knees, and I matched the dress by borrowing Kiara’s black stilettos. My eyes popped because of the smokey eye makeup, and the nude brown lipstick enhanced my natural beauty. The only problem was the plunging neckline. It was deep, and it reached the middle part of my chest, showing off little too much for my liking. Kiara also made me wear a push-up bra. Even though I looked hot, I couldn’t stop my hands from constantly trying to pull up the neckline.

“Will you stop?” Kiara gave me a distasteful look.

“What? I can’t help it. It’s too low,” I complained as I tried to pull the neckline up.

“Low? You call that low? Then what about my dress?” Tess asked and I looked at her.

She was wearing a white dress, but her neckline went down to her belly button. 

“She will probably call you naked,” Marianna commented, which made everyone laugh except for me and Tess.

“Shut up!” We said in unison.

I looked at Kiara while Eve drove us to the club. Remorse and shame filled me because I failed to be a good friend. She was there for me when I needed her, but what did I do? I ignored and blocked her out. How could I be so ignorant? How could I not see right through her fake smile?

I sighed and smiled when she glanced at me. She was wearing a baby pink body con dress with a studded neckline. She looked absolutely gorgeous with her hair down in soft waves, and minimal makeup.

“What?” she asked when she caught me staring.

“Nothing,” I smile and I watched as she opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when her phone rang.

“God dammit!” she cursed and everyone except for Eve turned in their seats to look at her.

“What?” Eve asked looking at her through the rearview mirror.

“This guy just doesn’t understand that I am just not interested,” Kiara complained as she typed furiously on her phone.

“Did that guy texted you again?” asked a bewildered-looking Tess.

“Yes, he just doesn’t get it,” Kiara snorted and typed something out, replying to that guy’s text.

“Who is he?” I asked.

“Stranger.”

“What is his name?”

“Anonymous.”

“What does he do?”

“Keeps on irritating me with flirty cliché pickup lines.”

“Where does he live?”

“Anonymous.”

“Block him!”

“This is probably his twentieth new number.”

“Change your number!”

“My bank accounts and work related stuff are linked with this number. I can’t do that! It will take time, and I am lazy.”

“Well, then ignore his texts”

“He will call me until I reply.”

“What does he want?”

“To meet me.”

“Why?”

“He says he has fallen for me since the day he saw me. But you know what? I don’t even bloody know his face!”

“Then go meet him and sort this out!”

“What if he is a psycho? What if he kills me? Even though I have the silver belt in karate, I don’t think I could fight a monster or a creepy psycho.” Kiara said and I rolled my eyes at her.

“You never learned karate!” I remarked.

“Yes, I have duh!” She rolled her eyes back at me.

“Oh really? Where?”

“Of course from the internet!”

We all groaned at her as she looked at each of us, asking what.

The music was loud, bashing into my ears. I put my hands over my ears, but laughed, enjoying the beats when we entered the club. People were dancing, drinking, and enjoying the club. The happy surroundings made me realize what I was actually missing. I actually felt better after a long time. Surrounded by happy people actually made me feel better, and I was thankful to Kiara and my girls for dragging me out here. We drank a little and made our way to the dance floor. Kiara kept on on dancing and showing her moves, shaking her head and singing along with the song. I just moved in synchronization with the beats and bobbed my head whenever the DJ played a new song.

Some guys asked Kiara to dance, and she ignored them as if they were some plague.

“Kiara! That was rude!” I whisper-yelled at her when she chose to ignore the guy who politely asked her to dance with him.

“What? I don’t think so! I am not leaving my girl alone,” she winked at me, and I rolled my eyes, even though I laughed at her.

“Okay, I’m tired now. I'm going to rest my feet for a few minutes,” I yelled against the music and Kiara nodded.

“Fine! I will join you in a few,” she replied yelling back, and I nodded before making my way off of the dance floor, dodging staggering drunkards and sweaty people.

As I walked towards the couch in the corner, a man walked past me in a hurry, but as he walked past me, he collided with another man and I saw his wallet fall on the ground from his jacket. I picked up his wallet and was about to give him, but found the man staggering out of the club. He was swaying and clearly intoxicated.

I called for him to stop, but due to the loud music, he was unable to hear me, and ignoring my voice, he walked out, disappearing from my sight. I looked at the wallet in my hand and then looked back at Kiara who was dancing like a maniac enjoying her time. I sighed and thought that I would just return the wallet back to the man and run back in. As I made up my mind, I hurried out, following where he went.

The cold air hit my body as soon as I took a step out of the club. It was already late, and I looked around searching for the man. From far away, I caught a glimpse of the man’s jacket, and watched as he walked towards the car in the parking lot. He was staggering, and my mind screamed at me not to go near him, for he could be dangerous. I had not yet seen his face, but somehow my heart told me to follow. Reluctantly, I ran in his direction and slowed my pace when he stood, keeping a hand on the hood of a car, balancing himself.

“Hey!” I called to him.

“I have your wal—woah! Careful!”

He stumbled on his own feet and fell backward on the ground in my direction.

As I ran up to him, and stood right in front of him, thinking whether to touch him or not, I chose to rely on my vocal cords and asked, “Hey, are you alright?”

The man stopped groaning all of a sudden and laid down, stiff in his position. His behavior worried me, and before I could ask him anything else, he looked at me, making me gasp as I saw his face.

“Za—Zachary?”