Chapter 1 Running before the moon chooses me
By the time I was old enough to string a bow, my mother had a habit of saying, “You were born quick.” She meant quick of hand and quick of mind—two things that could get you killed if you were careless, and keep you alive if you weren’t. My father, Beta Rowan of the Black Pine Pack, called it something else. “Steel,” he would say when I held my stance until my thighs quivered. “There’s steel in you, Sable. Temper it.”
Our house sat at the edge of the river where it folded back on itself and carved a crescent into the earth. I learned to swim against the current before I learned to braid my hair. I learned the calls of owls and the different silences of snow. I learned that a blade is only a promise, and a promise is only as good as the hand that holds it.
My brother, Jaxon, was born first and easier. He was already half grown when I came along—a grin like summer and shoulders built for carrying other people’s burdens. By the time I could run without tripping over rocks, he had begun his training to inherit our father’s role. “Beta work is service,” Dad told him, and because I shadowed Jaxon the way moss shadows stone, I heard it all. “You are the spine that keeps the body upright. You do not break.”
The pack expected me to be some version of my mother, Mira—our fiercest warrior—and she did not disappoint them. She taught me in a language of bruises, of patience, of breath. “You don’t win in the first strike,” she’d say, guiding my wrist until the knife angled right. “You win in your fifth breath when he expects you to be tired and you’re not.”
I devoured the training like it was food. I sprinted; I climbed; I learned to fight dirty and fair, and to know which would keep me breathing. The older I got, the more the warriors relaxed around me—good-natured mockery turning to wary respect when my blade touched their chests first. I grew into my body the way young wolves do, all tendon and grit, a late-blooming beauty that had more to do with how I stood my ground than with my cheekbones.
The Luna, Alina, loved me as if I were hers. “If I’d had a daughter,” she’d say when she fiddled with the clasp of my training leathers, “I’d want her to look me dead in the eye like you.” She smelled like rosemary and rain and kept a tin of salted caramels in her desk for when I pretended to stop by the pack house “on errands.” She had no daughters. Only a son—Kier—the future Alpha.
Kier and I learned to spar together out of necessity. He was a year older and a head taller, always destined to be the one the moon would bend toward. He was good in a way that comes from being expected to be good: born into it, fed on it. He had the raw power of a burst dam, and I had the habit of not moving until I wanted to. It annoyed him. I could feel it in the tightness of his jaw whenever I slipped a strike and flicked his wrist to open his guard, in the way his gaze darted to Alina’s balcony as if to say: See? Are you watching?
He was not unkind. But he was a boy who had never been told no by anyone.
At fifteen, I shifted for the first time under a harvest moon, bones reknitting to the black coat my mother carried and the slash of silver my father wore at his throat. The pack lifted their voices. Jaxon howled loudest. Dad’s hand rested on my wolf’s head and trembled. There was joy, and there was the thick thread of something else that made my stomach curdle: inevitability.
Because in our world, eighteen is the hinge year. The age when the scent of your fated one blooms like night jasmine—undeniable, sweet, a noose disguised as a garland. The mate bond is the holy story every cub hears before they sleep: the moon does not make mistakes. It chooses who steadies you. It wastes nothing.
But I watched the women who were chosen.
I watched Tamsin, who laughed like sunlight and limped after her mate decided she needed a lesson in obedience. I watched Raina, who loved her paints and cold evenings by the river, sell her canvases for baby blankets because her mate wanted sons and sons and sons. I watched my mother and father, whose bond seemed equal—but even there, decisions curved toward the Alpha line the way all rivers do. Our hierarchy called it balance. My spine called it something else.
At sixteen, when other girls hid blushes behind their hands and invented reasons to cross paths with boys at dusk, I counted the months on my fingers like I was loading bullets. Eighteen was coming, and with it the sweet trap. Feminist wasn’t a word we used in the lodge, but it fit in my mouth when I found it in a smuggled paperback from the human town. Feminist. Not the property of a bond. Not a tether. Not a prize.
I decided to run before the moon could choose me. It came to me as I stood in the training ring while frost crackled underfoot and Kier’s breath misted the air like smoke. He lunged. I dropped my center of gravity and sent him over my shoulder, flat on his back. The sound he made—surprise first, then anger—landed hot and certain in my chest: I would go. I would go before this world decided what my life was worth to them.
But deciding and doing are different beasts.
There were places to hide in the human world if you knew how to be small. The bus station in Alder Creek with its burnt coffee and flickering vending machine. The motel two towns over that took cash and asked nothing. A night forest is safer for a wolf than a highway, but the human road is the one place an Alpha can’t follow without risk. The human laws bind them almost as powerfully as ours.
I started to stay out longer on patrol. I learned the scents of metal and gasoline, the dull hum of power lines, the names behind the names: who would look away, who would help, who would ask questions. I watched the moon’s phases like a woman watching her last calendar. When it darkened to a sliver, I tested my pack on what they would do without me. Jaxon took my chores with a grumble that turned into a smile. Alina pretended not to notice when I didn’t come by for caramels. My mother set extra knives on the table and said nothing at all.
And still I trained. I trained because I loved it, and because excellence is its own language of freedom. Which is how the day came when I beat the boy who would be Alpha.