Chapter 65

**Matteo**

It was possibly the worst thing to ever come out of my mouth. Admitting that I would rather have Tommaso rape Lily than to hand over my suppliers, was hands down the worst thing I ever did. I’ve killed many, and tortured possibly even more, but they knew what they were in for. Lily was this lovely, innocent, naïve human being that I didn’t want to hurt. But I did hurt her unimaginably hard. Despite the gag and blindfold, it was easy to see just how much I hurt her.

I surprised even Tommaso when I said it out loud, like he didn’t expect it at all. Like he really thought that if he pushed me hard even by torturing Lily I would eventually give in to his demands. He looked truly disillusioned.

“Good to have that cleared up.”, I heard Mario say, and he walked in front of the camera. In the back I could see Tommaso pushing his pants down to pull out his cock. I had to swallow down some bile.

“Ciao Matteo, good to see you.”, Mario said like this was a friendly conversation. I forced myself to smile shortly. Sort of.

“See, Matteo, the thing is Lily here is my daughter. I’m going to be the bigger man here in the room full of toddlers playing in the sandbox. You have one more chance to prove to me that you want Lily to live.”, he said.

I stalked off. I didn’t want to see or hear anything more. I ran outside, needing to breathe. Standing outside on the porch, I was forcing myself to take some deep breaths, but it wasn’t working the way I wanted it. I felt ashamed of myself, like I had become what I didn’t want to be.

I remembered a talk with my mom when I was younger. About how it was still possible to find love in a life like ours. That I didn’t need to become a killing machine to prove myself to everyone out there. That I could also choose myself sometimes. Now I know how much of that talk was a fairy tale, a fantasy. I was the head of this famiglia, and I could only ever choose this family. There was no way I could find my own path to love.

I took another deep breath, but it felt like I couldn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs, no matter how hard I tried. Then I heard someone walking up to me, but not saying anything.

“Are you okay?”, I heard Ennio ask me. I just shook my head and stood staring into the distance.

“Will you be okay?”, Vita asked me. I shrugged. I didn’t know if I ever was going to be okay. Every chance that I had with Lily was flushed down the drain. After today, there was no chance in hell that she would ever want to be with me.

“I broke her today.”, I whispered. Vita grabbed my hand and squeezed it, knowing that I was right. She just didn’t want to confirm what everyone knew was true.

“I’m sorry, man. I know I pressured you to think of the famiglia first. To put her second.”, he said. Ennio never used many words, but I knew this was his way of showing that he felt guilty. That he didn’t like to see me like this.

“I need to save her from the Brunos.”, I said. It was the only way I could think of to help her a little. There was no way I could ever repay her for what she endured because of my doing. This guilt will be with me forever. Getting her out of there and setting her up for the rest of her life was the only thing that I could do. If she allowed me to.

“We will get her out of there.”, Ennio promised me, and Vita squeezed my hand again. I nodded sadly.

I walked onto the field that we occupied a couple of days ago to attack the Brunos. Boy, that backfired on us. Again, it was dusk, and I was on the field with my men. And Vita. In a lot of ways, it was the same, except for the fact that we were not in control this time. It was them that set up this meeting with us. They requested us to come here, meaning that whatever we do, we will always be trapped. They also said it was the only way for Lily to be freed, and I knew I at least had to try it. I owed her at least that.

“Ciao Matteo, Ennio, Vita.”, Mario greeted us. I nodded back in ways of greeting him. I didn’t want to say much because I didn’t want to step on his toes yet. I knew that coming here was not going to be in our benefit, and we were likely already surrounded by their men. Though, we did kill quite a few last time we were here. That was probably the only luck we were going to get.

I wasn’t comfortable standing here out in the open, and I knew that Ennio felt anxious as well. He was hopping from one leg to the other, and it was making me nervous.

“Glad you could make it.”, Mario grinned. I didn’t trust this guy at all. He was sly, he was vicious to get what he wanted. I had dealt with Nero most of the time, and Tommaso. Mario was always operating in the background, and he always made it seem like he was kind, weak, and not ruthless enough. I knew that Ennio believed that view of him, but I had seen him differently, and I knew that there were rumors after our parents were killed that it was Mario’s plan.

“Let’s get it over with.”, Ennio grunted in replied softly. I grinned slightly, but we both knew that we needed to sit through this show of Mario. He was in control, not us.

“I want to introduce you to the newest member of famiglia Bruno. I think you are familiar already.”, Mario smirked slyly, and he waved his hand. Tommaso came forward and pushed Lily out in front of him. I couldn’t see if he had his gun in her back. Tommaso wasn’t forcing her visibly.

“Please meet Liliana Bruno.”, Mario smiled. I felt sick to my stomach. He mentioned she was his daughter already, but I didn’t really grasp it until now. Until I saw her standing with them. I wondered whether she maybe wanted to be part of their family. Maybe they got to her after I broke her down?

I looked at Lily, trying to catch her glance, trying to see how she was feeling. Lily didn’t even look at me once, and that made me lose my faith. I was convinced that she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

“Lily?”, Mario urged, as a way to tell her that she needed to do something. She stepped forward, and walked up to me, but I saw her tremble. No way that it was going to be as easy as this. That they would just give Lily to us. I was waiting for the turn of events.

“Matteo?”, Lily asked softly, trembling. It was the first time she looked at me. I wanted to grab her, but she stepped back when I did.

“I love you, Lily.”, I said, but I saw her shiver at my words.

“I love you too, Matteo.”, she said, her eyes welling with tears. Somehow, I knew what was coming before she took the gun to my head. I saw Ennio move behind me, but I stopped him by raising my hand.

“You don’t have to do this, Lily.”, I told her.

“This is where you are wrong, Matteo. She needs to do this. If she wants to be part of the Bruno famiglia you know she needs a kill. I believe it is the same for you guys.”, Mario sneered. This was it, they wanted her to kill me.

“You don’t have to do this, Lily.”, I told her again, grabbing her hands holding the gun to my head. She shook her head, crying.

“If she wants to live, she needs to, Matteo. Either you live, or she lives. Choose.”, Mario said. I looked Lily in her eyes. Something told me that she had something completely different planned than shooting me, but I didn’t know whether I would like it.

I saw Lily glance at Ennio, like she was trying to get a message across to him. I couldn’t see him.

“Lily.”, Mario said, his patience was fleeting. Fast. Something needed to happen, otherwise he would force it to happen.

“I’m sorry, Matteo.”, Lily whispered. She looked at Ennio one more time. I closed my eyes, waiting for her to shoot.