NINETY-FOUR

NINETY-FOUR
DRAKE’S POV
The corridor outside Rayna’s room was silent, save for the faint hum of the air system. My footsteps echoed softly as I made my way toward her door. I wasn’t sure why I was going there. Maybe it was because I wanted to check on her, to know how she was doing especially after last night. Or maybe I simply didn’t want to admit to myself that I was restless.
I had almost reached her room when movement caught my eye.
Shirley.
She came out of the side hallway, dressed in a short-flowered dress, her long dark hair tumbling over her shoulders. She looked so much like her mother in that moment and I almost lost my senses.
I slowed down, unsure of what to say. We haven’t spoken for some time now, I have been so occupied with finding out who the rat was, and to still dominate in the Mafia world blah blah blah.
These were just excuses though, because I was just avoiding her.
My hands suddenly became very sweaty so I rubbed them on my pants taking a deep breath, and checking for the right words to use.
There was no escape route for me now, she has already seen me and she was walking towards me and her steps didn’t falter.
I slowly walked away from Rayna’s door and walked towards her swallowing the lump forming in my throat.
‘Hey Shirley’ I managed to say.
‘Good morning Dad.’ She said in a very cold tone.
‘How are you doing?’ I asked, my voice coming out rougher than I intended.
She froze mid-step and looked at me; like really looked at me with eyes so cold they might as well have been made of ice.
‘Oh how nice. My dad finally decided to grow a conscience’  she said flatly. ‘You have made it pretty clear you don’t care, so why bother asking now? Anyway, what happened to your face and fist?’
I looked at her cold eyes and felt really bad. I did care about her; I only had a terrible way of showing it.
The words hit harder than they should have, but I masked it. ‘I do care.’
She gave a sharp, humorless laugh. ‘Yeah right.’
I was helpless; I was slowly turning my daughter into a monster, and that pained me more than anything.
I came closer to her ‘I do care about you Shirley please; you have to understand.’
She scoffed ‘Understand what Dad? You don’t care for me and we both know that. You don’t even check on me. You don’t ask if I have eaten, if I’m okay… if I need anything. You don’t even know what my favorite color is, do you?’
I clenched my jaw. ‘Shirley….I’
She interrupted me immediately ‘You are avoiding my question Dad, what did you say happened to your face and fist?’
I looked away ‘Nothing, it’s nothing.’ I lied.
How do I open my mouth and tell her that I got into a fight with her uncle?
She shook her head ‘I was expecting that from you,, nothing less. So, how come Uncle Aiden has the same bruises as you do. I’m guessing it’s just a coincidence.’
Now, she was mocking me.
I should just tell her the truth.
But, I couldn’t even though the words were just at the tip of my lips.
‘It’s just as you said, a coincidence. I will go and check on Aiden to find out what really happened to him. Thank you for telling me’ I said with such a beautiful yet fake smile.
One look at her face and I knew she knew I was lying.
I’m so fucked. What do I say to make the lie just vanish into thin air?
I reached out to her ‘Shirley….please it’s..’
She moved away from me instantly, hissing. ‘No,’ she cut me off, her voice rising. ‘Don’t ‘Shirley’ me like you are the doting father you have never been. How can you lie so casually to my face and think I wouldn’t know? I know you hit Aiden, go ahead say it.’
I stuttered in shame ‘I…it’s really….Shirley..’
She shook her head ‘You can’t even say it. You are mean Dad and I don’t care how that makes you feel, but it’s the fucking truth. You dare hurt Aiden, the only person in this house who treats me like I matter. He’s there. He listens. He doesn’t treat me like I’m some… afterthought.’
That name Aiden in her mouth, in that tone, made my chest burn. ‘Aiden is my brother, not your father. It’s not his place to..’
‘It’s not his place to care about me?’ she snapped. ‘Maybe not. But he does. And that’s more than I can say for you.’
My temper flared, hot and quick. ‘You think I don’t care because I don’t cuddle you? Because I don’t smother you like….’
‘Like a real father would? Yes, what’s wrong with that?’ she interrupted bitterly. ‘You don’t care because you don’t want to. I’m just…. An inconvenience. Someone you had to deal with because Mom’s gone.’
The mention of her mother made the air feel heavier. ‘Don’t bring your mother into this,’ I thundered fiercely.
‘Why not?’ Her voice shook now, not with fear but with fury. ‘You think I don’t miss her every single day even though I never met her? I hate you Dad for treating me like I don’t exist, for treating me like I’m responsible for Mom’s death, I hate you for being absent in my life.’ She said, wiping the tears that spilled from her eyes.
Something inside me snapped. ‘You think you know everything, but you don’t. You don’t know what I lost….’
‘I lost her too!’ she shouted, tears shining in her eyes. ‘I didn’t even get to know her. There are no memories of her, nothing at all. I wish you died instead, I wish she was here instead of you.  She would have treated with great care and respect like a parent would, unlike you.’
I stared at her, my hands curling into fists at my sides, not because I was angry at her, but because every word was another blade between my ribs.
For a moment, I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.
She didn’t wait for me to respond. She brushed past me, her shoulder hitting mine as she stormed down the hall. I didn’t turn to watch her go. I couldn’t.
I just stood there, staring at the floor, my throat tight. And then…
It happened.
My shoulders sank, and I bowed my head. The sting behind my eyes burned until one hot tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, but it didn’t matter I knew it was there. That weakness. That crack in the armor I had spent years building.
I didn’t hear the soft footsteps until I felt the weight of a gaze on me. I turned.
Isabel stood a few feet away, near the corner of the hallway. She must have been there for a while, watching.
Her eyes weren’t mocking or smug. They were… different. Gentle. Concerned. Something in my chest shifted at the way she looked at me, like she was seeing through the monster everyone else believed I was.