Chapters 29 - Kaléo Coleman

***Still in denial.***

The word “wisdom” is formed by two verbs: “to know” and “to hurt.” It's a combination of words that occurs over time. It is formed in the past to be used in the present and future. Although the happiest moments in life are the best, the most desired by everyone, there is no learning without pain. And living, occasionally, hurts. Only those who learn from suffering become wise. That's why the more you live, the wiser a person can become. The great sadness in all of this is that as we become wiser, we also become older, and we have less time to enjoy our wisdom. It is the pain and beauty of life, and it is what brings balance to the world, since we are mortal. Acquiring wisdom is the challenge of life, but it would be divine to be young and wise, and have our whole lives ahead of us! It's like so many people say, “Oh, if only I had known at twenty what I know today… what I lived through wouldn't have hurt me so much.” Or at least, I would know how to deal with the pain differently.

That's why the best thing young people can do is to listen to the wise, who are generally older than us. Although wisdom cannot be transmitted, we can always learn something from the history and experiences of others, to try to deal with our sorrows and joys, and acquire our wisdom. How I wish I were wise, to be able to understand and deal with my internal issues that drive me crazy! I truly think I'm losing it.

Good times were when there was no one else between us. I always thought I was her best friend, her brother. I thought we would do everything together, and that we would share all the important moments and confidences of our lives. But from what I see, things are not quite like that. Ayume may think that this is just a silly jealousy crisis, but I know it's not just that.

“Sir,” I snap out of my daydreams as the bartender calls me. “Would you like another drink?”

“Yes, please,” he pours the liquid into my glass and then hands me a napkin. I look at him, puzzled, and he looks to the side. I follow his gaze and see a woman smiling at me.

I unfold the napkin and find a number written in lipstick. I fold it back up and tuck it into the pocket of my suit. I came to Canada for a crucial meeting, and it's been a week already, but I've been getting the runaround, and it's stressing me out.

I stand up and approach the woman, sitting down next to her. She's beautiful, I can't deny that.

“You're not from around here, are you?” she says, smiling.

“No, I'm from San Diego. Nice to meet you, my name is Kaléo Coleman.”

“That explains why you're so handsome. I'm Anna,” she says, running a finger along my arm. “How about we leave this place and have a more private conversation…” she says, tossing her hair. I finish my drink, get up, grab some bills, and place them on the counter to settle our tabs.

“Shall we?” she gets up, her arm around mine, and we leave.

We head to my apartment, which is not far away, and Tayson is already waiting for me outside with the car door open. As soon as we enter my apartment, she pounces on me, as if she wants to devour me. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her, but I feel nothing, not an ounce of desire. She pulls away and lowers the straps of her dress, letting it fall to her feet. Her body is beautiful, but I feel nothing! I don't know what's happening to me, I'm not like this, I never reject a woman.

I take off my suit and throw it on the couch, then I go to the drinks table and pour myself a glass of whiskey. Out of nowhere, music starts playing. I take a sip of my drink and I can't get the situation between Ayume and me out of my head. I'm disappointed in her, and Yumi betrayed my trust, kept things from me… who can blame me?

The woman approaches me and sits on my lap, starting to kiss me, then moving down to my neck as her hands roam across my chest, unbuttoning my shirt.

“This feels so wrong,” I murmur as she clings to me, kissing my neck.

“Was it wrong to bring me here, handsome?” the woman, whose name I can't remember, catches my attention as she pulls away and looks at me.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring this woman here, my confused mind tells me.

“Come on, let's go. I'm a psychologist in my spare time; you can confide in me,” she gets up from my lap, takes the glass from my hand, and sits on the couch, drinking from it and then licking her lips.

It can't be that bad to open up to her, can it?

“I grew up in an orphanage, formed friendships that now feel like family to me. We're like siblings, protecting each other and hiding nothing,” I think I've had too much to drink. I definitely wouldn't say these things in my right mind. “But there's this one girl, you know? She's amazing, has a sweet smile,” I smile at that. “And a huge heart, she's an incredible woman,” the image of her kissing someone else flashes in my mind, and my smile fades. “Is it wrong to have these thoughts? She's my sister, it must be sibling jealousy, right?” I look at the stranger who smiles at me and brings the glass to her mouth, then runs her finger along the rim. “She's my sister, we grew up together,” I say indignantly.

“Once a wise person said there's a difference between love and friendship, they spoke this truth… Love is very sensitive, friendship is much safer. Love gives us wings and makes us free, friendship is the ground and reason. In love, there's more affection, in friendship, understanding. Love is planted and nurtured with care, friendship comes joyfully and with the exchange of happiness and sadness, becoming a great and dear companion. But when love is sincere, and when friendship is concrete, it is filled with love and affection. When you have a friend or a great passion, both feelings coexist within your heart. In short, darling, you have to figure out what you truly feel, and if you want my opinion, I think you love her and not just as a sister,” she says, placing the empty glass on the table, getting up and going to her dress to put it on. She grabs her purse from the couch and opens it, taking out a business card and handing it to me. I took it, and as soon as I looked at it…

“Are you really a psychologist?” I inquired.

“Yes, I am,” she says, smiling. “If you ever need me, feel free to reach out. It would be my pleasure to assist you in the best way possible.” She waves and heads towards the door, exiting the apartment.

I stand there, pondering her words, and I'm certain of one thing: this woman is crazy! I've never seen Ayumi with another woman; it's just brotherly jealousy that has worsened with everything she's been through, with all the things she's kept hidden. Seriously, me seeing Ayumi as anything other than a sister? Never!