Chapters 28 - Evelyn Williams

***Analyzing and Confronting – Part 3***

“Things were difficult back then,” Mom begins. “It was hard for me to have your father away. I felt like I was losing him, slipping through my fingers. Then, one night, he came back from the trip, I prepared a lovely dinner, and we had a wonderful evening,” she smiles.

“Days after our reunion, I had to travel again and was away for fifteen days. I came back home and spent a week with your mother. Then, I was away for another ten days. It was during that time that I decided, I didn't want to continue living that way. I wanted to end our marriage and be with Eloise, even though I didn't love her with the same intensity as I love your mother.”

“But it didn't end?” I ask.

“No, when I came home that day, completely determined to end everything with your mother and even brought Eloise with me, she told me she was pregnant,” he smiles. “I had never been so happy in my life. I even forgot the reason I came and even about her. But a few days later, Eloise called me, and I remembered that she had come with me to San Diego. That happiness overwhelmed me, and that's when I said we wouldn't be together anymore because I was going to fight for my family.”

“How did Mom find out? How did she accept it?” I ask, shocked.

“I overheard your father's conversation that day, and he told me that he had been with her for three years.”

“How could you accept that, Mom?” I ask.

“It wasn't quite like that, my daughter, I did forgive! Do you think a relationship from twenty or thirty years ago is the same as those today? That things from the past are the same as today? They're not. I did choose to forgive your father, but it wasn't easy like that. We had a long journey to get where we are now. I had to set aside my ego and reevaluate my actions, just like your father. Everyone talks about being honest, selfless, and kind, but when it comes to translating those words into actions, everyone seeks their interests. Perhaps it's a great challenge to strive for true values when surrounded by people who seek the opposite. Our whole life is based on decisions, and they are what build or destroy our dreams,” she looks at Daddy and squeezes his hand a little tighter before looking back at me. “Good decisions help us climb high in life, achieve dreams and ambitions. However, when they're not made wisely, they can show us how deep the bottom can be! It's a risk we take, and it's simply impossible to know if we're truly making the right choice. Years go by, we grow up, find jobs, and keep trying to be as successful as possible. At some point, we seek to understand if these choices make us happier or sadder. It's really hard to know! And the important thing is to move forward. However, there comes a time when we grow tired of so many bad decisions, so much failure, so much being knocked down in life. The hardest part is to keep going without looking back, swallowing our pride, and dealing regretfully. It's not easy!” She looks at Daddy, and I can see the love in both of their eyes.

Hearing all of this and trying to understand what led him to betray my mother makes my head spin. I want to scream, call him a coward, slap him! But looking at his state, I have no choice but to embrace him. Sometimes, accepting the reality of life is very difficult for us. We fight for everything to be perfect and end up realizing that few things turn out as we expect. True wisdom lies in knowing how to deal with whatever the day-to-day brings us and making the most of what truly matters—the people around us. No matter how much they love us, they will always end up hurting us. Even the best of friendships disappoints us at some point. Learning to forgive what others do to us is the first step to finding peace within ourselves.

We come to realize over time that everything changes, including those who are important to us. We understand the unpredictability of our existence, and that's what makes us resilient as human beings; nothing is strange. As we grow and accumulate more experience, we become better, achieving many victories, and of course, the defeats count too! No matter how painful certain events may be, they always teach us something and are never in vain.

“It was tough to hear the words your mother said to me that day, after I confessed everything,” Daddy says, capturing my attention. “It felt like she was stabbing me in the chest…” Mom interrupts him.

“I said I've never felt so lost in my life. Being betrayed is the worst feeling any woman can experience! I confess, I never thought I'd go through a situation like this with your father. I always trusted him, blindly trusted him! It was a hard blow to my heart, to my core, and even to my way of seeing life. I felt deeply devastated, stripped, you know? I felt like I was worth a little more than nothing because being replaced is sad, but being deceived is the greatest of perversions,” Mom sighs.

“I think if she had shot me at that moment, it would have hurt less than hearing her say those words. Your mother wanted separation, but I didn't allow it, and I couldn't! I loved her, we now had a family. I know what I did was unforgivable, but I couldn't lose you all. After a lot of work, she forgave me,” my mother kisses his cheek.

“It wasn't easy, but eventually, we found our way,” Mom says.

We remained silent for a few seconds, each lost in our thoughts, but I had questions, and one of them was why Ayumi looked so much like my grandmother. Could she possibly be my sister?

“You never saw that woman again, Daddy?” Even though I don't think his actions were right, I don't have much room to criticize since it wasn't me he betrayed, but my mother.

“No! To tell you the truth, I never tried to find out, mainly because there was no reason to do so.”

As it is known and has been repeated to exhaustion, “to err is human, but to forgive is divine.” We all make mistakes; it's part of the human condition. And for those who, like my mother, are hurt in the process, it is up to them to decide whether to forgive the one who erred or not. But forgiveness is not easy, and forgetting is almost impossible! That's why they say forgiving is divine, that it takes great heart magnanimity to do so. On the other hand, I had nothing to forgive. I felt resentment towards the betrayal that wasn't even directed at me, but if my mother, who was the betrayed one, forgave, why couldn't I do the same?

I never imagined that by Thom bringing Grandma Ria's photo, he would end up discovering a betrayal by my father, and that's not all! The resemblance between my grandmother in her youth and Ayumi is eerie. However, I will investigate and find out if she is indeed the result of this betrayal. I will find out if she truly is my sister, and not just a lie to save her life!