Chapters 15 - Ayumi Clarck - Part 1

***Memories

1 month later…*

A month has passed since then. The absence of memories still haunts me, bringing along a mixture of painful emotions that I can't even understand why they're there. Each day is a battle against the sadness that consumes me, and I don't know how it found its place in my heart.

The physical pains persist as well. My body is still gradually recovering, and every movement is accompanied by a twinge of discomfort. Moments of rest are rare; insomnia has become my constant companion. However, despite all the difficulties, I try to find strength to move forward. I seek solace in activities that bring me some comfort, and seek support from the people around me. The journey is long and challenging, but I am determined to overcome these memories and pains and find a new balance in my life.

I'm leaving the hospital with Kaléo. I don't remember him, but I don't know what this feeling inside me is, yet I trust him. I know I can trust him with my life! However, I don't know why.

“We're heading to the beach house; everyone is waiting for you,” he says as soon as we get in the car, starting the engine with a smile. “You love that house. When we were kids, you used to love running through the hallways and standing on the cliff, admiring the sunset. My mom used to go crazy with fear of you falling,” he says, and I remember that. I smile at him, and his eyes are sparkling.

“Yes, I remember. I remember Aunt Havah running after me, or sometimes just staying by my side, watching the sunset with me,” I say, realizing that his smile fades a bit, knowing that I remembered everyone but him.

We arrive at the house; he gets out and then opens the door for me, helping me out. The man with him smiles at me. His name is Daniel, and I smile back at him. He's well-mannered, and I find him nice. As soon as we enter the house, I almost stumble because Ollyvia, Karol, and Hannah jump on me, hugging me and crying non-stop. I hold them tightly and then let go. Ollyvia runs her hands over my face, Karol runs her hands through my hair, and Hannah runs her hands over my back.

“I can't believe it's you, Yumi,” Ollyvia says between sobs, and I hear a voice telling the girls to let me in. That voice warms my heart.

I lift my head and see Havah smiling at me. The girls let go of me, and she opened her arms, smiling. I ran to hug her. Her hugs have always been comforting, and of course, they carry her distinct scent of roses, which is her trademark.

“I'm so glad you're here with us, my daughter! I missed you so much,” I look at her face, and it's like mine, bathed in tears.

“I missed you too, Mom,” I say in a barely audible voice.

“You called me just the way you used to when you were a child!” she says, smiling, and I hug her again. This feels wonderful.

Her embrace puts together some of the pieces that broke inside me. She lets go, and by her side is Jhon, the hug. I feel protected, just like I did when I was a child, when I came from the orphanage and told him about the bad things Amora did to me. He would hug me, comforting me, saying that everything would be alright.

“Welcome, Smile,” he says, kissing my forehead.

As soon as he says that, I feel like I know this nickname. He notices the confusion on my face as I try to remember where I heard this nickname before.

“We know you don't remember some things, Ayumi, but we'll help you. Kaléo gave you that nickname,” I look at Kaléo, who runs up the stairs. Everyone looks at me and then at the stairs. Then Lucca, Kaique, and Jackson came and hugged me.

“We missed you, don't ever disappear again and break our hearts,” Lucca says, smiling, as he steps back.

Kaléo descends the stairs, skipping several steps, and Havah calls his attention. We all smile because she always told us not to run down the stairs. He comes close to me, extending his hand, smiling. He looks like a child presenting a gift to someone; his joy is radiating. As he opens his hand, I see two necklaces, one with a heart pendant and the other with a smile-shaped pendant…

**Memories…**

*I extend my hand to him with the black cord, and at the end, there's a pendant in the shape of a smile.

“Here, Leo, it's for you!” I say, smiling.

He looks at Mom Carmen, and she gives a positive nod.

“She spent three weeks selling lemonade to buy this necklace,” she says and goes inside the house. I was happy with the lemonade sales because I managed to buy this specific necklace. I smile at him, and he takes the necklace from my hand.

“My name is on the back,” I say happily. He turns the pendant and notices my name. He puts the necklace around his neck, still looking at me.

“Look! I have one too,” I show him mine. The pendant has a heart with his name inside.

“It's so we never forget each other. I love you, Leo, forever!” He hugs me, and when he goes to kiss my cheek, he accidentally kisses my lips. It makes me feel embarrassed, but also happy. I can't quite explain what it is.

“I love you too, my smiling girl.”*

**End of memories.**

I look at him, his eyes filled with tears, and I throw myself into his arms, crying. He hugs me tightly, and oh, how I longed for him, how I needed him with me and couldn't have him! I pull away from his embrace, and he has tears streaming down his face. He smiles at me, and I turn around, lifting my hair. He puts the necklace around my neck, and now I feel complete again.

•••••••• 🌺🦋🌺 ••••••••

As the night arrived, we all gathered around the table, dining, talking, smiling, and I felt alive! After we finished dinner, Kaléo says he has another surprise for me, and we head to the video room. As soon as we arrive, we take our seats, and Ollyvia turns on the TV. Photos of my friends with me start appearing, and then a video plays, featuring a guy with his arms around my waist. He has black hair, brown eyes, an athletic and tall physique… My head starts to ache, I close my eyes, and the memories invade me…

**Memories…**

*My best friend is Kaléo, and I adore him. I've known him forever. He's the one I confide my secrets and dreams to, and he does the same with me. But that changed the day I started dating Carl Jenkins. I felt a sense of passion for him, but no, it wasn't love. I didn't feel my legs go weak or the sensation of floating when I looked at him like my friends did. Karol said that when she saw Lucca for the first time, it was as if she knew she had found her soulmate, and when she kissed him, it felt like a dream. Ollyvia said that when she saw Kaique, it was as if she saw an angel, that he was the right person for her and sent by God. Now, Hannah, oh my… she made us sigh the most because she says that Jackson is her life, her everything, and she says that because Jackson was her savior. Hannah was inside her car, and a man held her at gunpoint. He almost violated her. It didn't happen only because Benjamin was leaving a shift and saw the scene and rushed to help her. But with Carl, it was a spark for me, and I believed it was an overwhelming passion. My heart raced, yes, but it didn't make my legs go weak. However, that changed the moment I went to bed with him and gave him my virginity, thinking it was the best thing I was doing. From that day on, Carl didn't let me go out without him. He asked me to move in with him, and foolishly, I did. And from there, my life turned into a living hell. I don't leave the house anymore, I don't see my friends, and I even lost my job because of him. I'm locked up here all the time. He destroyed my phone, and there's no landline in this house anywhere.

Carl leaves in the morning and only comes back in the early hours reeking of alcohol, sometimes with other women. He beats me and mistreats me in every way. Today, I managed to ask the housekeeper to buy a pregnancy test for me, and if it comes out positive, I don't know what I'll do because Carl won't be a good father, and I'm certain something serious will happen.

Sula Martinez is our housekeeper, and I've grown attached to her. I asked her to bring me a pregnancy test, and it's now on the bathroom sink. I open the bag, take out the box, and read how it's supposed to be done. I follow all the instructions carefully and wait for the 5 minutes, pacing back and forth. I keep whispering to myself that I can't be pregnant. I can't!

After five minutes passed, I grabbed the test and looked at it, I said, my eyes widening in shock. I rush over to the box and examine the explanatory leaflet once more, and then shift my gaze back to the stick. I repeat this ritual about five times, and there's no denying it… I'm pregnant. Overwhelmed by an immense sense of despair, I find myself at a loss for what to do.*