Chapter 35 35: The High Wall Of silence
Saint clenched his hands under his desk, suppressing the pain that was stabbing in his chest. He never knew that he'd get so worked up in life simply because someone stopped speaking to him.
'What am I, a toddler? Why the fuck am I seeking unnecessary attention?' He asked himself with a pinched brow.
He took a deep breath and slowly shook his head.
It was good that Baby was ignoring him, it meant he was taking his advice and staying away. So why was he the one getting worked up and seeking what can never be?
Beside him, he saw Baby stare at the card for a while before he took it and placed it in his pocket.
'Of course... he'll go,' Saint gritted his teeth, already knowing his decision regarding the pool party.
"Cameron, may I speak to you outside?" Shannon's voice announced from the front, cutting right through Saint's dilemma.
Behind them, Cam muttered under his breath as he stood from his chair, "Coming right out, Ms. Shannon." He said, pausing beside Saint and Baby's desk.
"Coming?" He asked Baby.
"Sure," Baby said and pushed his chair back and got up.
He was glad and eager to leave Saint's side, to escape the odd feeling he was getting from their proximity.
Saint watched from his side as Baby walked away from him.
'This was good,' He told himself.
'Distance was certainly what we needed between us,'
But why was he feeling like grabbing Baby's hand and demanding he stay and apologise for fucking a girl right beside his fucking room!
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, opening them just in time to see Baby glancing at him or at his desk, he wasn't sure, but he was sure that Baby looked in his direction just before leaving the noisy class.
'Why did he look at me? Did he want me to follow him? No, I'd rather not,' he sighed and lowered his head on his desk, his head aching from lack of sleep and too many thoughts.
___
Baby was standing in front of a fancy hotel later that evening, Celine beside him, hugging his arm like a koala.
"Baby, come on, it's too early to leave the hotel. Can we stay all morning?" She asked softly, pressing her soft breasts against his arm.
Baby sighed, feeling irritated by her voice and touch.
"We agreed, Celine. I just needed a distraction and you needed to sleep with me. We both got what we wanted, there's no need to be demanding," Baby said, his eyes focused on the road as he waited for his ride.
Celine sighed, "I understand Baby. But..." She loomed up at him, fluttering he lashes at him, "I meant it, Baby," She whispered.
Baby frowned, "Meant what?" He asked, not once glancing at her.
Celine slowly walked over to Baby's forced, cupping his cheeks.
"When I told you I loved you... I meant it, Baby. I know we're supposed to be fuck-buddies, but, I've never felt so good with anyone before, Baby. You're my soul mate –"
"It's not a soul connection, Celine. It's the effect of a good dick. Your ride is here, and do not call me again if you're still feeling your soul-connection thingy. I don't do love," he said bluntly, kissed her cheek, and pointed to the silver car that slowed in front of them.
"Take care, Celine," He said and walked toward his car by the side of the building.
He got in his car and scoffed as he recalled her words.
"Love?" He murmured, chuckling and shaking his head.
"I don't even like Elena that way anymore. A fucking proof that I can love," he sighed and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel.
"I wasn't loved, I was broken. I can never love, I can only break," He chanted it like a mantra, clutching the steering wheel tightly in his hands.
His phone suddenly rang, disrupting his thoughts.
He stared at the caller ID and picked up the phone, "What?" He asked flatly.
"I'm heading to Wong's, see you there?" Cam's voice spoke through the speaker.
Baby grunted his reply, not feeling the excitement he thought he'd feel for an upcoming party.
He ended the call, suddenly feeling tired. Many because he'd had sex with two girls in a day, but he'd done worse, so he ruled it out as a reason, searching his mind for anything that could be the reason behind his sudden disinterest in a pool party.
Saint.
That was the only name his mind chanted.
That annoying perfect face, defined jaws, and steel-grey eyes appeared in his mind, haunting his thoughts like a ghost.
"Fuck!" Baby slammed his hand against the steering wheel, gritting his teeth so hard that his jaw hurt.
He needed to get to that darned party. Maybe he hasn't had enough sex. He needed a distraction from his distraction.
Saint was trouble, a kind of trouble Bany had never encountered throughout his carefree life.
How can one hate someone so much yet can't stop thinking about them?
He didn't want Saint. He'd never want Saint.
He only thought of him because the devil knew how to get under his skin with his words, his actions, his looks...God, his darned hot looks.
Baby gulped and pushed his hand through his hair, clutching his hair gently and he shut his eyes, shutting off every thought in his head.
"I'm going to that fucking party, and I'm going to enjoy it like I always do. And have more sex if I have to. I'm going to have fun," He muttered and sped his car away from the hotel.
But, why was he feeling the complete opposite of fun?
In a few minutes, Baby walked into his apartment, slamming the door shut as he walked into the living room, ignoring Saint, who was sitting on the sofa with his phone.
He hadn't expected to see the object of his thoughts when he returned, he had been shocked to find that face staring at him as he entered the house, but he kept walking, acting like Saint was nothing but a ghost.
He entered his room and had a quick shower, dressing in his 100% armless, V-neck, body-hug cotton shirt and black pants.
He didn't bother to dry his hair properly, he just wanted to leave the apartment.
Twenty minutes later, Saint heard Baby's door opening again and lifted his head, waiting for him to walk to his front.
The moment he saw Baby, he felt his heart stutter, taking in Baby's simple elegance. His face frowned slightly when he saw the way Baby's blonde hair looked damp under the light.
"You'll get cold,"
Baby's steps faltered halfway to the door as he heard that husky voice behind.
Did he stop?
No.
He acted like he'd heard nothing and left the apartment, quietly closing the door and leaving his problem behind.
Saint felt it, it was just a door being closed, it was a high wall wedged between them. It was the boundary he'd asked for and he was getting it in premium quality.
He hadn't planned to go to the party, but, the way Baby left, he was feeling an urge to see him again, probably speak to him.
He was used to having Baby throw sharp words at him, not the silence that was threatening to drown him.
He suddenly realised that he couldn't stay the whole day without having Baby speak to him.