Chapter 84 AN ACTUAL REASON.

Chapter 84 AN ACTUAL REASON.
RAFAEL.

I stared at him, hoping he would suddenly burst into laughter and tell me he was pulling my legs but no, Baxter didn't.
"What?"I spluttered, gripping his bed stand.
Baxter nodded, looking confident as ever."I genuinely thought it was just a stunt between–"
"Why the hell would I do that?"I cut in, gazing at him hotly like he caused it.
God. How did I get dribbled by Rita Williams this plainly?
Thinking about it now, it was so glaring. The first meeting. How she approached me first and insisted on buying the company even though, purchasing it meant that she had to sell most of her company assets so she can afford it.
Everything happened too easily. I didn't have to struggle for a buyer or anything.
"Shit?"I growled lowly under my tone, careening towards the door.
"Where are you going?"Baxter's weak voice surged in the room, pulling me into a halt.
I spun at him, heaving heavily."I'm going to her–"
"To do what?"
"Offer her a damn cookie since asking obvious questions is the agenda for tonight."
"She's sick."Baxter said slowly, adjusting himself on the bed.
I scoffed, placing my hand on my waist."And that means I have to shut my mouth and–"
"You see this shitty anger of yours that you can't seem to tame?"Baxter pointed at me, shaking his head."It will kill you."
I let out a harsh growl, absolutely done with the whole chitchat."Don't you get it?"
"Get what?"
"I was played by Rita, she deceived me–"
"Why can't you just think about this in another dimension? What if all she wanted to do was keep you close and–"
"Well, she failed, because the first thing I will do tomorrow morning is to file a lawsuit against–"
"Sit."Baxter admonished calmly, tapping the chair beside him.
I stared down at the chair, then back at him. The heat charging through me dissipated gradually like it was responding to Baxter's command.
"I'm not–"
"You came back here for us to talk."He said knowingly, his eyes fluttering slowly like all energy had been sapped out of him."Then sit."
Knowing that there was no use acting like an irate asshole all night, I settled beside him, crossing my arms.
My eyes wandered to his hollow neck and swatted my gaze away from him.
"Ken told me everything."I rasped out, hating the melancholy pinched in my tone.
Baxter sighed, his whole body heaving after the little gesture he made."It will go away."
Flames stoked my chest, I forced myself to look in his way and choked out a wet laugh."What will go away?"
Baxter dropped his head to the clothes covering his lap and wrung his fingers against each other."Ken and i are working towards–"
"God you're so full of bullshit."I rolled my eyes, relaxing fully on the chair.
"It's not–"
"Stay."I forced the words out of my mouth, rubbing on my rough stubble.
Baxter gasped lightly, raising his head up at me."What?"
"Stay."I repeated, letting my gaze linger more on his slitted neck which has already been dressed up.
God. This bastard isn't even stopping at brushing his wrists but now, his neck?
He was really ready to go.
"I shouldn't."
"Yeah, but you have to."
"I'm a mess."
"So I am."
"You handle it better."
"I don't."
"It's not–"
"You think I don't want to crumble too? You think I don't want to lose my shit? You think I don't want to snap?"I flared up, not in annoyance at him but frustration, a deep gruelling frustration that racked deep in my bones.
"I'm sorry."Baxter broke down into whispered sobs, crying hard.
"Everyday."I said, earning a slight quivering of his lips.
"Huh?"
"I need to hear that everyday from you."
He inhaled shakily, covering his face."I can't."
"You owe me an apology."
"I should have stayed."He cried, his tone pinched with guilt.
"No."I bite out, shaking my head."You shouldn't have stayed."
The words didn't tasted bitter in my mouth like I'd presumed.
This is the first time I would admit that. For years, I blamed Baxter for being a selfish bastard for not staying, even though I questioned the reasons why he didn't, I realized I didn't give him enough grace to think more of it and I hated that.
His eyes twitched as he gaped at me.
I swallowed the huge lump down my throat forcefully and crossed my arms against my chest.
"I was a self absorbed piece of shit to think Mom took so much from me."
"She did."
"Of course, but not in the same manner as you."
"Rafael–"
"She took your childhood, everything."I rushed out, letting out a burning breath.
God. For the first time, I wondered why Mom had to have us when she knew well that she was in a shitty state.
A shitty state that ended pivoting our lives in a direction we still haven't figured out.
I watched Baxter unfurl again and no, he didn't shed tears, rather, a gasp of relief slipped out of him as he stared at me for longer.
"I'm sorry."I mumbled under my breath but audible enough to elicit another sob from him.
"It was horrible."
"I didn't know."
"You weren't supposed to have an idea on something like that."
"You didn't deserve that, Baxter."
He opened his mount to retort but clamped it shut, instead, he nodded admittedly."Yes, I didn't deserve that."He affirmed again.
The hairs on my body stood straight against my clothes and I gritted my teeth harder, else, I'd crumble too but tonight is not for me, but for Baxter.
And not that I've forgiven him yet, but now I know, his actual reason.
"So, everyday? You show up in front of me to apologize."I ordered.
"I will."He admitted.
My hands itched in my pockets. I should reach for him. I should console him but I couldn't and the guilt wasn't as overwhelming as I'd thought because this is a progress, having this thought about Baxter.
One step at a time.
"Well, I have a wife to go home to, let's hope you don't off yourself before the day ends."I said, cannoning off my seat.
Baxter chuckled, mumbling something under his breath bedside raising his hand to the clock on the wall."It's already a new day."
"Good, that means you owe me an apology today again."
"Can I say it now?"
I raised a finger at him, shaking my head."I decided on the time."
"Sure."
I stifled a chuckle, tucking my hands back into my pants."Goodnight Baxter."
He grinned fully, looking lighter than before."Goodnight Rafael."
Rearing my legs towards the door, I started walking in the direction, biting back my smile.
"Can I ask for one thing?"Baxter questioned.
I turned in his direction, shrugging."Shoot."
He squirmed a little on the bed, tucking his lips in."If it's fine with you, can we go together anytime you want to see Rita?"
Scoffing, I tilted my head at him."Of course, I never planned to go to her alone."