Chapter Two Hundred-Thirty-Eight
Amelia shook her head, the weight of her failure pressing down on her. "The doctors say there's nothing wrong with Niko, which means the problem lies with me. I'm considering stepping aside, letting him divorce me so he can marry someone who can actually give him an heir." She glanced at Keira, suddenly ashamed of burdening her with this. "I know they’re hopeful Alexei will fill the void. But after meeting you, how can I put that pressure on you? I was born into this life and knowing I would one day marry the future King but you... It just wouldn't be right."
"No," Keira said sharply. "Amelia, you can't—"
"Can't what? Can't face reality?" Tears filled Amelia's eyes, threatening to spill over. "I married him knowing my primary duty was to produce the next generation. I've failed at the one thing that mattered most."
Keira grabbed her hands, squeezing tight. "That's not the only thing that matters. What about love? What about the partnership you've built together?"
"Love doesn't continue the royal line," Amelia replied bitterly.
"Maybe the royal line isn't worth continuing if it requires destroying the people who serve it," Keira said with surprising fierceness. "You think Niko would be happier with some fertile stranger than with the woman he clearly adores?"
"Clearly adores?" Amelia laughed bitterly. "You've known us for two hours."
They discussed medical options, but Amelia had already explored them all. "It could take years and may not work. You don't understand the pressure and the stress…"
"Well, maybe that's the problem," Keira suggested gently. "The pressure and the stress you are under isn't helping. I'm sure I read somewhere women can have problems conceiving if under stress."
Amelia pressed her palms to her face, overwhelmed by the sympathy in Keira's voice. "I don't know if stress is the only thing. But you're right about the pressure. It's... suffocating. Niko wanted to get away for a few days. I... I was about to tell him I wanted a divorce. I just don't know what to do."
"Has Niko told you he feels that way? That you've failed him?" Keira asked pointedly.
"He doesn't have to say it. I see it in his eyes every month when... when nothing happens. The disappointment…"
"Or maybe what you're seeing is his own frustration with the situation, not disappointment in you," Keira suggested. "Don't do this without talking to Niko... tell him."
Amelia shook her head, the decision already forming in her mind. "I need to give Niko time to find someone else. Parliament has been making subtle inquiries about succession. Theodore tries to be supportive and protective, but I know he's worried. It's why he is pressuring Alexei to marry and by extension you."
"So take a break from trying," Keira said simply. "Take that trip Niko suggested. Get away from all this pressure and just be a couple again.... Amelia, I could never understand what you have been through, but you can't make any rushed choices without at least telling Niko that you love him first."
"It's not that simple—"
"Why not?" Keira pressed. "You're talking about divorcing the man you love because you think you're not good enough for him. But have you actually asked him what he wants? How is that fair or right?"
Amelia fell silent, staring down at the destroyed rose in her hands.
"I'm scared," she finally admitted.
"Of what?"
"Of hearing him say he'd be better off without me." The words came out broken. "Of confirming what I already know. Because you are right, I do love him more than my own happiness."
Keira's expression softened with compassion. "Amelia, listen to me. I've only known you for a few hours like you said, but I can see how much you love him. That kind of love doesn't just disappear because you can't have a baby."
"Amelia, I'm going to say something that might sound harsh," Keira continued firmly. "What the fuck, woman... You're making decisions about your marriage without actually talking to your husband. How is that fair to either of you?"
"I'm trying to protect him—"
"From what? From having a choice?" Keira's voice grew stronger. "You're deciding what's best for Niko without asking him what he wants. That's not protection, that's control."
Amelia stared at her, startled by the blunt assessment.
"Look, I get it. The pressure is overwhelming, and you feel like you're failing at the one thing everyone expects from you. But you're more than a baby-making machine, and if Niko can't see that, then maybe he doesn't deserve you."
"You don't understand—"
"I understand more than you think." Keira's tone softened. "I've spent the last two years watching Alexei struggle with duty versus what he actually wants. The weight of expectations can crush you if you let it. But the only way through is together."
They sat in silence until Amelia whispered, "What if he agrees that we should divorce?"
"Then at least you'll know the truth instead of torturing yourself. But what if he doesn't? What if he tells you that he'd rather have you and no children than children with someone else?"
"I don't know if I can take that risk. I think the truth could crush me."
"Give him the chance to fight for you, Amelia. Give yourself the chance to be fought for."
Before Amelia could respond, footsteps crunched on the gravel path. She looked up to see Niko and Alexei approaching, their meeting with Theodore apparently concluded. Amelia hastily wiped her tears, trying to compose herself.
"There you are," Niko said, his eyes immediately finding her tear-stained face. Concern flooded his expression. "Amelia? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she lied, forcing a smile. "Just... girl talk."
But Niko wasn't fooled. He moved to her side immediately, his hand gentle on her shoulder. "Amelia?"
She stood abruptly, unable to face him with Keira's words still echoing in her mind. "We should head back. It's getting late."
Niko looked like he wanted to press further, but he simply offered his arm. "Of course."
As they walked back toward the palace, Amelia could feel Niko's worried gaze on her. His arm tightened protectively around her waist, and she allowed herself to lean into him, drawing strength from his presence.
"Are you going to tell me what that was about?" he asked quietly when they were a few steps ahead of Alexei and Keira.
"Not tonight," she whispered, her voice still thick with unshed tears.
"Amelia—"
"Please, Niko. I can't... I love you, but I need to let you go. How could she even voice it?"
Once inside their suite, he closed the door and turned to her.
"You can't avoid this conversation forever, Amelia," he said quietly. "Talk to me."
Amelia moved to the window, arms wrapped protectively around herself.
Amelia stared out at the darkened palace grounds, trying to gather her courage. Keira's words echoed in her head, blunt but honest. The moonlight cast long shadows across the manicured lawns, reminding her of how small she felt in this vast royal world.
"Amelia, please." Niko's voice was softer now, almost pleading. "Whatever it is, we can face it together."
She turned slowly, forcing herself to meet his gaze. His dark eyes held such concern that it nearly broke her.
"I think we should divorce," she said quietly, the words hanging in the air between them like a physical presence.
Niko went completely still. "What?"
"I can't give you what you need." Her voice trembled despite her efforts to control it. "What Wystovia needs."
"Amelia—"
"No, please. Let me finish. I'm finding this hard enough as it is." She took a shaky breath. "I've been trying for three years to give you a child. Every test comes back negative. The doctors can find nothing wrong with you, which means the problem is me."
Niko stepped toward her, but she held up her hand, stopping him.
"Your father is already making contingency plans with Alexei. I see the way people look at me with pity and disappointment." Tears spilled down her cheeks now. "I feel like a failure."
"Is that what you think?" Niko's voice was dangerously quiet. "That your only value is as a... what? A royal broodmare?"
"It's the reality of our position," she insisted. "The Wystovian crown needs an heir. You need an heir. And I can't—" Her voice broke.
Niko crossed the distance between them in three long strides, his hands gripping her shoulders.
"Listen to me," he said fiercely. "I don't want a divorce."
"You say that now, but in five years? Ten? When there's still no child? When the pressure becomes unbearable?" She tried to pull away. "I'm giving you an out, Niko. The chance to find someone who can give you what you need."
"What I need?" Anger flashed in his eyes. "Did it ever occur to you to ask me what I need? What I want?"
"I know what you want—" But Keira words echoed from his mouth.
"No," he interrupted, his voice rough with emotion. "You clearly don't."
He released her shoulders, running both hands through his hair in frustration before meeting her gaze again.
"I need you, Amelia. Not some hypothetical child. You." His voice dropped, becoming almost raw. "I love you."
Amelia froze, staring at him in disbelief. In three years of marriage, neither had spoken those words.
"You... what?"
"I love you," he repeated, more softly this time. "I started loving you that day in the botanical gardens, when you asked me if I resented having my path so clearly defined. When you told me you'd dreamed of studying literature."
Amelia's heart pounded so loudly she was certain he must hear it.
"If the choice is between you and an heir," Niko continued, taking her face in his hands, "I choose you. Every time."
"But Wystovia—"
"Can adapt," he finished firmly. "Alexei can provide heirs. We could adopt. There are options beyond traditional succession that wouldn't require losing you."
His thumbs gently wiped away her tears. "I should have told you sooner how much you mean to me. That our marriage stopped being an arrangement for me long ago."
"I love you too," Amelia whispered, the admission feeling like a weight lifting from her chest. "So much that I was willing to let you go."
"Never," Niko pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around her. "I would step aside as Crown Prince before I lost you. The throne means nothing compared to having you in my life."
Amelia clutched his shirt, tears flowing freely now. "I've been so scared," she confessed. "Every month, when the test is negative, I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself. Like I'm watching your disappointment grow."
"Not disappointment in you," Niko murmured into her hair. "Never in you. Only in the situation and how much it was upsetting you."
He pulled back slightly, tilting her face up to his. "Babies would be a blessing, Amelia. But they're not why I want you. They would be a bonus to the life we've built together."
For the first time in months, Amelia felt hope flicker to life inside her chest. Niko loved her, not for what she could provide, but for her.
"So, what now?" she asked softly.
"Now, we take that trip I suggested." He pressed his forehead against hers. "Just the two of us. No royal duties, no pressure. Just husband and wife, to find each other again."
Amelia nodded, a tentative smile forming through her tears. "I'd like that."
"And Amelia?" Niko's voice grew serious again. "No more making decisions about us without talking to me first. We're partners. Whatever comes, we face it together."
She went on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in answer.