Chapter 61

Chapter 61
Rigella Andrea's POV

I smiled as I saw his smiling face in a picture that was placed in a frame. It's been a long time since I saw him smile. This picture, somehow, showed it to me. The smile that can melt my heart in an instant. The angelic smile that caught my attention years ago.

No wonder, I fell in love with him so deep like an ocean. I feel like I'm drowning because of being so much in love with him. No matter how much I want to go up, I can't. I was destined to fall in love with him. And I also think that he was the only one who I will only love even in my after life.

Though, I know it's quite impossible, I'm still wishing for it because ... I can't imagine myself loving someone else other than him. He was my one and only great love. He fully occupied my heart and up until now, he still does. No one can replace him even the most perfect man that might enter my life.

My love for him was eternal, to make it short. He inflicted me pain and anger that I shouldn't have felt in the first place. But still, he's the only one who can extinguish those pain and anger that I felt. He was like a medicine to me. He can heal me easily just with his smile and sweet words that he's giving me.

I composed myself before I moved the swing that I'm sitting on right now. Even though I am not with him now, I can feel his presence by visiting the playground where we first met. This was located in the subdivision that our house stands into. I also wonder why Ivan chose to live in the same subdivision of this playground. He's the one who picked our house.

I hugged the picture frame and looked up at the sky. The clouds were blue and white in color while the sun was shining brightly. It was a great day to start the day for some people but for me, it's still not enough. It's still not enough for me to remove the sadness that covers my heart and soul. I"m still sad because I"m not with him now. I would only be happy when I saw him open his eyes and look at me enthusiastically.

But I know it's impossible. I have to accept that I will never be able to be with him again in this special place. Even though it's hard for me, I'll still try. Nothing will happen in my life if I don't accept that. And I know he won't like it too when my whole being was only covered with a deep sadness. I need to stand up for my children and the people who were still beside me and still love me.

The cold air caressed my body. That affected my hair so I grabbed it and moved it to my left shoulder. was he that wind? Did he touch me? If so, I hope he can also read what my brain says for him. That I love him so much and I can no longer love anyone other than him.

I smiled and looked at his photo again. He looks so happy that time. What could be the reason for his pleasure in that picture? I want to know it because there were only few things that makes him happy.

Ivan was a mysterious person so he was not easy for other people to read. He's like a mystery book that has lots of confusing chapters and pages that an ordinary person can't figure out. But I, I already know him very well. From head to toe. Though, now that I just found out other things about him I'm still proud that he doesn't have any secrets that I don't know yet.

Creed told me that I was Ivan's first love. I was still confused at those times because I could not understand what he said. I mean, all along, I believed that Lara was his first love but the truth was, It was me. He told Creed that it was only me he loved.

I tried to ask him how's and why's but he said that it's a long story to tell. He was also afraid to answer those questions of mine because he was also afraid to disappoint Ivan. He said that he promised to him that no one would know that secret of my husband other than Creed. End of the story.

I was happy, yes. But it could have been more happy if he's the one who confessed it to me. I want him to explain why, how and when he loved me. I want to know what he liked about me. I wanted to know why I was the only one he was able to love despite the people we weren't together with.

Ivan ... was indeed a one woman man. That"s what Mommy Jane told me before Ivan and I were married. I was confused then because I knew that Ivan and Lara were still in a relationship then and I also knew that Mommy Jane knew that. But he still told me that and I don't know exactly why.

But now I know. He only loved no one but me. Whatever he had done to me before, you gradually erased what I learned. But still, I can't understand why he needed to hurt me immensely. I still can't guess what the reason was. I'm confused.

But no matter what it was, I have forgiven him for all the hurt he has done to me. The conversation was over. What matters was now.

'too much sun was bad for a pregnant woman." suddenly a voice said so I was a little embarrassed in my seat.

My gaze shifted to my back. It was Roxanne wearing a red dress and staring at me. To me, it looks like this woman was going to preach to me again.

I smiled at him sweetly. "Hey, Roxy." I said when he could get close to me.

"Hey, Roxy your face. What were you doing here and you're exposed to the sun, huh? You're a pregnant woman, jusko." he shook his promise as he looked at my chubby stomach.

I just smiled at him again and stroked my stomach. I'm five months pregnant, by the way. I didn't expect to get pregnant because I had an ovarian complication when I gave birth to the twins but here I am and I am pregnant now. God gave another blessing again.

"Let's go to your OB? You're still being checked up." Roxanne held out her hand to me.

I accepted that and slowly got up from sitting on the swing. Roxanne also helped me stand up. The frame I had been holding earlier remained in my hand. It's from Ivy. He was said to have taken this photo of Ivan himself. That explains why the picture was perfect in my eyes. I'm speechless.

"Let's go." I was with him but I winced when I felt my child kicking in my womb. He's really restless in recent days.

"What? were you okay, best?" Roxanne asked worriedly.

I nodded softly. "I'm just okay. Baby just kicked." I smiled and caressed my stomach. I hope you will get your father's appearance and attitude, baby.

"Ah, that's really it. It's been five months." he also caressed my stomach. "Seriously, what? Ivan was also really a sharp shooter. were you kidding me? You're still pregnant by being beaten up." laughed Roxanne.

"Don't! My son can still hear you. You're still insulting his father." I laughed a little.

"Hey, best! That baby hasn't come out of your stomach yet. Can I hear that? Letse, come on." he nailed and touched my hand. He has already walked so he has taken me to walk as well.

"I'm excited to know your baby's gender, Roxy ..." I said smiling from the absence. "I hope he's a man so he can be Ivan's junior."

"Ivan the second really, best? Can't you feel too consumed by that?" Roxanne looked at me for a moment before looking at him again.

"It's okay for me to consume as long as he's Ivan's junior. I don't care if he's still his daddy. I'll still accept him because he's my son." I answered.

"Edi, Rayne was the only woman? Seriously, three men will protect my child. It's hard to court."

"Correction, Roxy. They're four. With Ivan." I corrected what he said.

He took a deep breath. "But it's best, you know—"

I blocked the back of my palm with his face. "Yes, I accept. Don't go any further."

'that's good. Because it's best, if you can't accept that, you'll always be sad. And you know that your abusive wife won't like that, right?"

I sucked. "Why did you call Ivan? It's like you." my walk slowed. I suddenly felt sad because Roxy said that the first trimester of my pregnancy was over. Why am I still emotional?

"Hey, were you going to cry? Me, best. That will make me mad at the doctor when you cry!" Roxanne barely bothered to examine me.

Luckily, my tears didn't drip so I stopped him because he was so OA. "It's you. You're insulting my wife when she's not here anymore." I said frowning.

"Eh, I'm sorry! I just can't really move on from the rudeness of the behavior he showed me before. Serious, very arrogant! It's nice to drown in boiling oil!" he was still shaking as if remembering what Ivan had done to him before.

'that's enough. Let's go. Maybe I'll cry forever because of what you're saying." I myself pulled him to walk fast. Roxanne's mouth doesn't really filter.

When we came out of the playground gate we were greeted by the caretaker then. Just like last week I instructed him again to allow the children who wanted to play inside. The playground was getting old so someone should use it.

Roxanne and I were exposed to a black car that I think belonged to Darlyn. He texted me earlier because he said he would take Roxanne and me to my OB so that he would know the gender of my baby. As in previous days, the three of us were together again. They don't leave me the same because well maybe in my condition now.

Roxanne knocked on the driver's seat window of the car and you quickly opened it. Darlyn, who was still in shades, greeted us with a smile. Seriously? Will he really drive with black sunglasses?

"Oh, best friends, we're on board! Let's go!" he vigorously promised and blew the horn three more times so I winced slightly. Anytime really. Tsk.

Roxanne blinked and opened the back seat door. He supported me on the ride and only then did he ride when I was seated. He sat down next to me and leaned back in his chair.

"Seriously, it's really hot right now, what? Can we go outing next week? Will you go?" Roxanne asked. I just shrugged. Why not? My children will definitely enjoy it. But ...

"I'll go there." suddenly said a familiar voice.

Roxanne and I looked at the front seat once and I saw a clear face of a woman still smiling at us. Oh my gosh! Here he was again.

"OMG! Ren!" I would have approached her to hug her but Roxanne immediately pulled me to sit down.

"Gaga! You're pregnant and it's crowded here in the car. You'll hug later." laughed Roxanne.

I just snorted and stared. "I just missed Laren, okay?" I said to him and looked at Laren again. I can see Lara's appearance in her but I can't be angry with her because she has no arrears with me. "How were you, Ren? You're back in LA, aren't you?" I asked him with a smile.

He was about to speak when suddenly we heard a noise. Darlyn turned on the car's engine and started to drive with earphones plugged into her ear. He was still wearing shades.

"I'm okay. Actually, my husband and I were just here for vacation. I just really thought of visiting you because I found out what happened to you." his face was sad and I felt even I was sad too. "I hope you'll be strong, Drea. Especially since you're pregnant now. Just keep on fighting like before, alright?" he smiled softly at me.

I nodded at him. "Yeah. I'll be strong for my kids." I said but I remembered to ask him something so I spoke again. "You? Has your husband ever formed you?" I smiled mischievously.

He laughed. "We're still working on it, don't worry. You'll be my son's godmother soon." aniya.

"Just make sure, huh? After that I haven't had a child yet. I still want to have a child of your own." biro ko.

"Awful, ha! My wife and I were not barren. We're both healthy. Maybe I'm pregnant now."

My eyes rolled. "Really? Edi, check up on my OB too! Let's go together." yaya ko sakanya. I don't know but I suddenly felt excitement.

He went home. "I don't think so. Maybe I hope I'm pregnant, but I'm not." he shuddered while still grinning.

"Just try, Ren. There's nothing to lose. Then, come on! You've been married for three years so it's impossible that you're not pregnant yet. You're still being checked up." I insisted on him. I don't want to be OP, what! My friends were so sexy and their wombs were empty so I want to know if Ren was pregnant too.

"Hmm ..." he sneezed. "All right. You insist. But if it's not positive, you'll set me free, huh?"

I smiled. "Sus. It's free. Let it go, I'll really set you free." I nodded at him as a sign that I was sure. Hello? The amount of money I can afford now.

He just laughed and stared at me. He arranged to sit in the front seat and looked out the window. I leaned back in the back seat because my back hurt a bit.

A few minutes later we arrived at my OB"s clinic. In recent months she has been my OB because she was also the one that Mommy Jane recommended to me. He said that the doctor was good so I should have checked up there. And he was right, my doctor was really good.

Roxanne helped me get out of the car as she always did. They really take great care of me like when I was just pregnant with twins. Speaking of my twins, they first lived in the house of Ivan's parents as well as Ice. I first pushed them away from me for no apparent reason. Nothing, what I'm thinking of doing. But I always visit them.

The guard on duty let the four of us in because he already knew me. Do I always check up here e. Once a week I have to check up because of my friends "excessive OA. I just let them go because I knew they were only concerned with me and my son.

Even the doctor's secretary let us through. I think almost everyone here at this clinic knows us e.

Roxanne knocked on the clinic door and waited for a signal before turning the door knob. He opened the door slowly. He took my hand and we entered the clinic together. I could also see out of the corner of my eye that Darlyn and Laren were just following behind us.

"Awful! I'm excited to find out what the gender of your baby was, Andrea! I want it to be a girl like Rayne so I can have a new baby hairdresser!" I heard the excitement in Darlyn's voice behind me.

I sucked. I really want a boy because he was Ivan's junior and because many will defend Rayne.

"I'm sorry, Dars. Best wants a man so just shut up. Maybe that woman will come true." said Roxanne.

"Hala, was baby Rayne one of the boys?" Laren asked.

'that's what this witch wants. The man wants to give in." shaken Roxanne said and smiled looking at me.

I just smiled at him and continued walking. I can't do anything when my daughter was a girl but I hope ... She was a boy. I'm hoping that he's a boy. I want a new man in my life who will at least replace the space left by Ivan in my life.

I saw the doctor reading something in a folder he was holding. Moments later his gaze shifted to us. I smiled at her and caressed my stomach. Oh, baby. I hope you're a boy.

"Mrs. De Leon, you're here." he seemed a little surprised but he immediately smiled. "I'm sorry, I forgot that you have a schedule for a check up today. Have a seat." he presented me with the chair in front of his desk.

I sat there and even as I sat there, Roxanne supported me. There were very few and the care giver can confuse Roxanne with what she was doing e. But with those simple things I was touched. He really stood by his promise to me when we were still in high school that he would never leave me no matter what happened.

The three of them Laren were my backbone when I was still in LA. I can say they were my true friends because they never left me once before. They accompanied me to deal with my problems that I should have been the only one fixing.

"Doc, isn't it now exactly five months of Rigella's pregnancy? Maybe we can find out what the gender of her baby was, what?" Roxanne asked now that someone could hug me.

"Of course. It's okay. Do you want to know what the baby's gender was?" the doctor asked as he adjusted the mirror he was wearing.

"Obviously, doc. That's why we came here to find out what the baby's gender was." Darlyn made an artistic promise so I barely looked at her. He became a philosopher again.

The doctor laughed so I looked at him again. Why was it that instead of being annoyed, he was still laughing? Darlyn blocked it.

"Will you check up on me too, Mrs. Santiago? Maybe you're pregnant now." laughed the doctor.

"Oh, that's vague, doctor." said Darlyn so I looked at her again. "We haven't done a miracle my wife conceived out of resentment because she's still flirting with me. You know, only a good person like me deserves to be chased." he twisted his brownish hair with his index finger.

Darlyn was right. Actually, Xyleus has been flirting with her for five months or more. Creed and Marilyn even lost to them who were so sweet. It's been two months since the two of you met. That's where Darlyn was left.

'that's right, Mrs. Santiago. It's to reduce the number of patients I check up." the doctor's voice seemed to break, so I looked at him again. Oh, what was that! I was dizzy from looking at them.

"Aren't you planning to give me an ultrasound yet, doctor?" I asked frowning. I am so excited to know my child"s gender!

The doctor's gaze shifted to me. "Ah, I'm sorry Mrs. De Leon. It's because of Mrs. Santiago's chatter that I'm getting used to it." the doctor removed the stethoscope hanging around his neck. "Anyways, change inside that room. Remove your undergarments like before and wear the gown." he said and pointed to a room.

I just nodded. Seriously? was this really how my pregnancy affects me? I seem to have been childish for a while. But only for a while.

I stood up and Roxanne supported me again. He even offered to accompany me to the room because I might slip or something else would happen to me. I immediately refused and said that I was pregnant and not disabled. That I can be myself which was really true. My life was a living hell before and I was able to do that. Could it be just a simple change of clothes? Tsk.

I entered the room and as usual the clothes I was going to wear immediately opened up to me. The room was small but it was just right for a pregnant woman like me. I followed the doctor's instructions and then left the room.

I was greeted by people I did not expect to be here. I smiled spontaneously. What were they doing here?

"Hello, Mom." smiling Ice said and approached me.

My smile widened even more and suddenly I hugged him. My first-born was taller than me now. Time was really fast.

"Momma!" yielded a small and feminine voice so I searched for where that came from.

When I saw that it was Rayne I first let go of Ice and approached my princess. Rayven and I were just next to each other so I hugged them both. Oh, God. I never expected that they would come!

I both kissed the twins on the head before I moved away from them a bit. I wiped the tiny tears that dripped from my eye. I am happy to see them. I only think once because they can be together.

"How were you, Rigella?" asked Mommy Jane who was now next to the twins. Ice, on the other hand, stepped aside from Mommy.

I laughed softly. "I'm fine, Mommy. Why were you here?" I asked smiling.

"I also want to know the gender of my grandchild and so was your kids. That's why we're here." Mommy Jane said briskly and brought her palm close to my stomach. He gently caressed you so I smiled even more. I know my Mom will also do that if she's still alive.

My smile disappeared immediately when I suddenly remembered something. "Mommy ... How about—"

Mommy immediately cut off what I was going to say. "It's fine. Everything was taken cared of before I arrive in here." Mommy Jane gave me a warm smile. His palm moved to my shoulder and tapped it.

I nodded slowly. I trust Mommy Jane so ... If it's fine, it's really fine.

"Mother, I'm going to have an ultrasound of this sister's husband." said the doctor who was next to Roxanne. The three of them Darlyn and Laren were quiet but they were smiling at me.

Mommy nodded. "Sure, Vivienne. You're free to do it." Mommy's consent. "I'm so excited to know my grandchild's gender!" Mommy laughed and was still applauded.

I smiled again. It was obvious from Mommy's look that she was excited.

I am happy that all the people who were important to me were here the day I will know what gender my baby will be. But, I know this would be more happy if Ivan was here. I want him here because if he was here this will be the first time he will accompany me to the ultrasound for our future child.

But I knew that was impossible. So impossible. So here it was and I'm just asking now.

I just kept smiling and never again ignored what I was thinking. Just, I want my son to be a boy. It's okay for me to be a woman but I really prefer a man. An another resemblance of Ivan will definitely make me happy.

The doctor laid me on a bed, as before, and lifted the dress I was wearing. There was some gel that the doctor applied to my stomach and applied to my stomach what seemed to be a sensor object.

I turned to a small screen to my right. My tears automatically flowed when I saw my baby. He wasn't very whole yet but I could hear his heartbeat. And at least I knew he was alive in my stomach. Then it was as if I wanted him to come out of me now.

The doctor and I were surrounded by people who were important to me. They were fun to watch as they also stared at that screen with admiration on their faces.