Chapter 46 More Blurred Lines
LISA
turned it into ice.
My whole body turned into ice at that familiar voice and the tray of edibles nearly fell out of my hands when I turned back and I confirmed my greatest fear at that moment. Angel Volkov, my sister-in-law, was really standing across from me, talking to a man.
But thankfully, her back was to us but any minute from now, she was going to turn back and....
God forbid!
I whirled around immediately.
"That's my sister-in-law," I told Axel even though I was already sure that he knew who she was. I half-expected him to abandon me because it wasn't his problem, Angel wasn't his family and he wasn't going to get into any trouble because of her..
But we couldn't say the same thing for me because I was going to get into a shitload of trouble if Angel should see me and that looks like it was going to happen any minute from now on.
"Yeah, I know," he replied as he took the tray from my hands and he dropped it on the nearest table and without voicing it out, we already both started to walk towards the back.
"We could stay and go our separate ways and pretend we didn't come here together..."
"Angel is too smart for that, the minute she sees the both of us here, she'll put two and two together and investigate till she gets the answer she wants."
"Yeah, I thought about that, the second option is the coward's way out and it's the one we're already doing, sneaking away."
"That's honestly the best option we have."
We quickened our steps, desperate to get away and we were nearly out of sight, we were just about to round a corner and disappear when...
"Where are you guys sneaking to?" The annoyingly loud voice that belonged to an older woman stopped us and I froze, my head turning slightly to look back and yes, we were not that far from where we left Angel, and with how loud the woman's voice was, I didn't doubt that everybody in the garden could hear her.
Angel inclusive because she was now staring at our stiff backs. I could only hope that she didn't know me enough to recognize me from behind.
"The Q&A is just about to start and you guys are sneaking away."
"We're not sneaking away," it was Axel that answered her and from his tone, I could tell that he was starting to get annoyed, "we only want to get something."
"Well, that place is a dead-end, if you guys are long, you can just..."
For the love of God.
"Is everything alright there?"
Fuck.
Double fuck.
That was Angel's voice and from the looks of things, from how close her voice sounded and the sound of her shoes, she was walking towards us.
Triple shit.
I didn't wait to be told, I walked away, making sure to keep my face obstructed and hoping desperately that she didn't see my face.
"Your sister-in-law really has a knack for making people angry, damn, I thought no one could get under my skin the way you do but she just proved me wrong."
Axel announced his presence a couple of minutes after I escaped from what would have been my burial scene. The back of the venue was really a dead end and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned but surprisingly clean football field. I've been waiting for him for a while now, tensed out of my mind that Angel would walk up to me.
But at last, Axel returned alone.
The relief I felt was too freeing.
God! I couldn't even start to imagine how everything would have turned out if Angel had seen me with him.
"So she annoyed you too?"
"More than anyone ever has in my life," he replied as he took his seat beside me on the lone bench in a corner of the field.
"And here I was, thinking that position was specially reserved for me."
"You don't have anything to worry about, Red, you annoy me in a special way that makes me want to take the annoyance on you by punishing you and fucking your brains out, your sister-in-law annoys me in a way that makes me want to break all her bones."
The reference to our sex lives made my insides quiver and his whole statement brought a smile to my lips.
"I hope you're not annoyed about my plans for your sister?"
"Annoyed? That's how I feel about it 24 hours out of 24 hours a day. It's no big deal, you're just welcome to the club."
"That's relieving to hear about because aarghhhhh, she's so annoying."
I chuckled again, "what exactly did she do to make you this annoyed?"
"Nothing I want to relieve but she just got all into my personal space, asking me questions as if... Nah," he shook his head and chuckled slightly, "I think you really need to tell her to do better than that, she might be a Capo but there are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed."
"Why? Do you think she knows that I was the lady you came with?"
"Nah, she didn't even mention that at all, she wasn't concerned about who I came with, she was just concerned about other things."
I exhaled, breathing in and out normally for the first time since I heard her voice.
"So what was she curious about?" I asked cautiously even though I already had an inkling what it was going to be about. I wasn't sure what it was exactly but I knew it had to do with the conversation I overheard in dad's studio a couple of days ago.
Axel looked at me pointedly for a couple of seconds before he looked away. He picked a stone nearby and he threw it off into the distance.
"Nothing you should worry about," was the only reply I got from him before we fell into a not-so-uncomfortable silence that was unbecoming of the kind of relationship we shared. All was quiet around us except for the occasional chirping of birds and flitters of conversations and giggles from the Q&A.
"Thank you..." I said after a while and he flickered his beautiful brown eyes to look at me, making my breath catch in my throat for a while.
"For?" He curled an eyebrow.
"For bringing me here," I replied, "I needed it."
I wasn't sure why he did it and I didn't even want to ponder on why he did it but the fact that he got the tickets, even if it was Prince that hacked the site and got the tickets without breaking a sweat, the fact that Axel thought of me enough to bring me to somewhere I've always wanted to come since I was a pre-teenager was enough reason for me to feel all sort of warmth furling within me.
I knew he said he did it because he didn't want to sleep with an unhappy girl but even a lame man would know that wasn't the case.
I expected some sort of retort from him but instead, he flashed me a genuine smile that set my whole insides on fire, "you're welcome."
Wow, is this world about to end, or are we really being civil toward each other now?
"Are you feeling much better now?"
"Uhhh?" I looked at him in confusion, not understanding what he was going on about at all.
"Your nightmares?" He replied with genuine care in his voice and his eyes spilling over with concern, "are they much better now?"
I didn't want to talk to him about it, getting vulnerable and blurting out my weakness to him was just a moment of sheer stupidity, it wasn't something that I shouldn't have even done.
I thought I had reached the peak of insanity when I did that but I proved myself wrong when I opened my mouth to answer him.
"They only worsen immediately after I carry out a task," I replied to him, surprising myself and surprising him with how his mouth parted slightly. We both weren't expecting that I'd confide in him again because I was thinking clearly now and I should recognize that this was Axel Ivanov that I was having a conversation with and he was nothing but an enemy who shouldn't even sniff any of my weakness, not to talk of my greatest one.
But yeah, that still didn't deter me from going on.
"They only get worse for a few days after a new kill so during that time, I always find it hard to sleep alone in the dark and even if I don't sleep alone, I have to use my sleeping pills, overuse them actually because two pills won't work for the first few nights."
He didn't say anything for a while, he just kept staring at me as if he was digging into the deepest part of my soul with his deep brown eyes before he licked his lower lips slightly.
"And the other nights?" He asked, his voice dark and it sent a wave of tremor through me, "do you have nightmares on the other nights too?"
"Yeah, nightmares are part of my every night routine now, I'm used to them, I've not had a nightmare-free night since that night that I had my first kill."
"And when was that?" He asked calmly, too calmly it was eerie.
"When I was fourteen."
He cursed silently and I watched as his hands clenched into fists.
"So you've been having nightmares every night since 6, Nah, 7 years ago?"
"Uhh."
"So why are you still doing it?" He sounded annoyed now, really annoyed like he was trying his hardest not to allow his anger to show and that confused me because why was he angry? It wasn't even about him, it was about me and he doesn't give a damn about me so why was he angry?
"Does your dad know about this? I'm sure if he knows, he's not..."
"We agreed to keep our families out of our conversations, you're about to cross that line."
"Fuck a stupid line, this is your mental health we're talking about right here, you're obviously not cut out for this shit and you keep doing it, why? You can just easily stop it."
"Axel, you're crossing a line you shouldn't cross, I'm already feeling foolish enough that I told you my greatest weakness so please don't rub it in by throwing it in my face and faking your concern because we both know that you're not concerned. If anything, you should be happy to know this information about your enemy!"
I yelled at him and he groaned in frustration before he grabbed his hair tightly with his two hands as if he wanted to rip his hair off his head.
I didn't even understand him. I don't understand what was going on with him and why he was so fucking pissed off because of me and what I was going through.
What I was willingly putting myself through because I needed dad's approval more than anything.
"Would it make you feel better if you know any of my weaknesses too?" He finally asked me and I chuckled mirthlessly.
"Don't take me for a stupid person, Axel Ivanov, don't even dare! Do you think I'll be daft enough to believe that you'll tell me your weakness? Do you even think I'd believe you if you tell me this so- called weakness? You're Axel Ivanov, the acting Don of the most feared mafia family in the country and you'll tell an enemy that you're fucking your weakness because of some stupid power play? Come on, we're not kids."
"What if I do?"
"We both know you won't," I replied dismissively, trying to wave the conversation aside even though a tiny part of me was curious if Axel would actually tell me a weakness about him just to make me feel better. We both stared at each other heatedly for a while before he opened his mouth and he shocked me with what he said next.