Chapter 45 Blurring Lines
AXEL
She closed the distance between us and she threw her hands around me, hugging me.
For a minute, I stiffened and froze under her hug because I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. We've never been in this much proximity if it doesn't include a lead-up to sex. Hugs were reserved for people who shared a deep affection for each other, who liked each other and cared for each other, not people like us who shouldn't even be seeing eye to eye.
People like us who share a risky arrangement that must not and should never see the light of the day.
And here we are, with her hands thrown around me, enveloping me in a hug that I wasn't supposed to like because I wasn't even a hugger, I've never liked the idea of hugging because why should I? Hugging was a waste of time when we could use that time we'd waste on hugging for something more productive like fingering or sucking.
But her hug was making me feel something different, something I've never felt before, it was an alien feeling, one that I didn't even want to decipher but in her hug, I felt her gratitude, her happiness, and for the life of me, my hand started to raise subconsciously to return the hug.
She pulled back and I immediately dropped my hands so she wouldn't notice that I was about to return the hug.
She kept her eyes everywhere but on me and I knew she must be feeling the awkwardness too, that she must not know what to make of the fact that she just hugged me because yeah, how are we supposed to be sharing hugs with the kind of relationship we shared?
"So, we should go now," she started, still not looking at me, "the show will start in a couple of minutes."
She got out of the car before I could form a thought and I had to shake my head, to mentally prepare myself before getting out after her.
The show was another revelation.
I wasn't even expecting to enjoy it, I just came here because of Lisa but it wasn't all that bad, his music was good, his performance was elite and first class. The hall wasn't all crowded because it was a limited-crowd show. I guess I didn't enjoy it as much as others did because I didn't know any of his songs so I couldn't hum along to them but Lisa's reactions were completely worth it.
Her loud shriek and clap when Kay stepped onto the stage.
The excitement in her eyes when he started to sing.
The way she was rocking her body and humming along to his songs.
The happiness and energy radiated from her throughout the entire show.
It was a joy to behold, to watch and see her like that. She was like a child, unrestrained and full of so much happiness. It was surreal watching her like that and I wasn't even focused on the show, I was focused on her, on her expressions and how her eyes kept lightening up at intervals with excitement.
I never thought there'd be a day when I'd see Lisa Volkov this free and happy and I wish I could take a video to immortalize the moment so I can always watch and rewatch it.
I wanted to imprint all her facial reactions into my mind and remember them forever.
I slapped myself mentally, shaking myself off the delusions that were starting to plunge into my mind. She was Lisa and we were just fuck buddies so I wasn't supposed to care about what she looked like when she was happy at all.
But I cared, sitting here with her and listening to songs that I didn't give two shits about was enough reason for me to know that.
But I wasn't even interested in pondering on it at all.
"So, did you enjoy it?" she asked in the most cheeky voice I'd ever heard from her. She had always sounded chip and laid back and whenever she was talking to me, she always sounded so angry as if she was one step away from sticking pins into my eyes but now, she sounded like she just got stuffed with all the happiness in the world.
"Enjoy what?" I feigned ignorance. The first and main part of the show was over and now, we were walking in a garden that was designed for the second part of the show. There were cakes and desserts and drinks and fruits and we were currently walking around and filling our plates before going to join the others where the guests would engage Kay in a Question and Answer session.
"The show of course," she retorted, sounding halfway like I was used to her sounding but also managing to sound light as if she wasn't really annoyed, "what else could I possibly ask you if you enjoyed, Ivanov?"
"I'm not going to take that bait and get into another fight with you and no, I didn't enjoy it."
She stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening with shock as she stared up at me and for a minute, I was knocked off by her delicate beauty.
"Don't be blasphemous, Axel, do you have an idea how many people would kill to be in your position right now? To experience the Kay show? This is like the fucking highlight of my entire life and you're saying that you did not enjoy it? Come on."
"Well, nothing thrills me more than dangerous things and music doesn't even come close."
"Maybe you should get out of your head and start living, music is bae and again, there's music and then, there's Kay, he's a fucking genius man, I'd give up my head just to watch him sing."
"I guess your head belongs to me then," I joked and she stared at me pointedly for a while before her lips crinkled into a smile that soon bloomed into full-blown laughter.
Geez. She was laughing at my joke and God if the sound of her laughter wasn't the most exhilarating thing I've ever heard.
"Miss Angel Volkov, I'm glad you could make it," a voice distracted our attention and I felt Lisa stiffen and turn into ice beside me before we even turned around to confirm who it really was. And yeah, we were staring right into the eyes of her devilish sister-in-law, Angel Volkov.