Chapter 5

“When you took it all, you forgot your shadow.”

- Shadow by Sam Tsui

He let go of my neck and I fell to the ground in a heap, I wasn’t sobbing but tears were running down my cheeks. He was still standing there. I could see his sneakers through my blurry sight. “Get out of my sight now.” He growled with his Alpha tone. I picked myself up by leaning on the wall. I looked into his eyes that held anger, lust, and hatred. I wiped my eyes before pulling my hood up and walked down the stairs, then out of the house.

I was jogging towards the forest when suddenly a feeling pulls at my heart, so strong and painful that I fell to the ground and clutched my chest. The pain traveled from my heart through my body. It was so strong that I curled into a ball and started panting. I didn’t want to shout out; I didn’t want anyone to know what happened to me. Maybe this would be the chance where I could die. I hoped the pain would kill me, but I needed it to stop. It was too much. I wanted to scream out loud, but I bit on my lip to stop myself from screaming.

This was what it felt like. This was what it felt like to be rejected. I had to get this through my head, I have just been rejected. Rejected by my mate. Suddenly, a hard stab of pain hit my abdomen, like you’re stabbing something inside of you. Or like how Bella felt when she had Renesmee. Tears were falling down my cheeks. My whole body was burning from the pain. I was dying. Dying from the inside. I realized that I still hadn't screamed out, I was suffering in silence like I always do.

A pain ripped at my heart, pulling at my veins, and my heart squeezed itself. I had to end it. I had to. Despite all the pain I was feeling, I staggered upright and started limping towards my cliff. I reached it faster than I expected and looked out at the beautiful sky and the setting sun. Caleb was probably celebrating his birthday back at the house, happily with Lindsay, and all his friends. They won’t care. They never cared. I limped closer to the cliff and looked down. The waves were hitting the rocks hard and the wind was blowing softly. It was perfect.

I walked closer to the cliff, half of my foot dangling on the edge. I was ignoring all the pain I was feeling. I had to ignore it. I closed my eyes and then just let myself fall forward. The pain I was feeling in my body, the rushing wind that passed my ears, the feeling of bliss, the feeling of flying. Then I felt the impact, a huge slam, and water engulfed me as I hit my head on the rocks. I opened my eyes for a while and looked up at the sky. The last time I’d ever see or feel anything. I felt the darkness pull me down, deep down. I was dying.

I am dying.