That can’t be all of what I am now. I’m still young. No matter how serious I take things, I’m still young. I haven’t even turned twenty yet! I try to see myself with Dani until the end and I realise something I never wanted to think of before. She’s an adult. She has had the life I’ve skipped. She’s ready to do something I’m not, and she will always be ahead of me because she has got what I’ve missed. We’ll never be at the same stage. For the first time, thinking about the future and what that means for me, I realise our age gap and what this implies. I can’t never be everything she needs because there’s something missing in my life and I’ll never get that if I’m with her… or with anyone. Not yet. I need to live my life before thinking of sharing the rest of it with someone else. I’m not ready for marriage or to start that kind of life. And when I think that there are so many more years ahead, I get desperate. What else do I have to achieve? I got my dream, I’m living it… but I’m still so young. This hasn’t taken me even two years. What am I going to do for the rest fifty years of my life? I can’t do this forever. What happens next? I have done everything yet at the same time it feels like I have done nothing. I start hyperventilating again as I realise all of these things. Why didn’t I see this before? Why didn’t anybody tell me how much I was rushing things? I’ve gone so fast and now I don’t know how to stop, so I’m going to crush. I need to stop. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to crash! I’m shaking as I stumble out of the bed and hurry to get my mobile phone. Four words repeat in my head over and over again: I need to stop. I get a hold on my phone and look for her number on the list of last dialled numbers. There she is. My whole body is trembling and I’m on my knees on the floor. It’s hard to breathe, and I’m not sure if I can do this. But I have to. I can’t carry on with my life like this, I’m doing everything wrong. I’ll ruin myself if I don’t stop. I need to stop. She answers and sounds so happy. I still love her, but I now know I can’t be with her. I just can’t. I’m not the right guy for her and I’ll never be. I can’t ever catch up with her. She will be forever ahead. “Dani… We need to talk. Can you come here, please?” I tell her and my voice is shuddering along with my whole body. “Is everything okay? You sound weird, babe?” She asks me and it pains me to know that what I’m going to do will hurt her, but it’s the best. For her and for me. She needs someone who can give her what she needs, someone who has lived properly. Not someone who has skipped important parts of his life. I really love her, I want the best for her and I know there are things I can’t just offer her. With the world tour coming and all the other things we have in schedule, how can I be with her? She will need me but I won’t be here. What kind of relationship is that? “Yeah. Please, just come over,” I beg. “I’ll be there in five,” she replies and I nod, even though she can’t see me. Then I hang up. It’s going to be painful, it’s going to be hard, but it’s the right thing to do. I can’t be with her if I’m going to think of all the things I’ve been missing and all the things I haven’t been able to live. I’ll hurt her even more if I don’t stop this now, hurting myself along the way. I need to stop. I’m still on the floor when the bell rings and it takes me a couple of seconds to stand up and go to open the door. I’m not sure if five minutes has passed or not, but she’s there and I see her worried expression. I can’t look good if she’s staring at me like that. “Babe, what’s wrong? You’re as pale as a ghost,” she says walking in. My heart is beating strongly, hitting my ribs mercilessly. I walk behind her, closing the door. With every step I take, I grow in determination. This is the right thing to do, for her and for me. She needs better, she needs someone who can run next to her, at her same speed; not someone who’s struggling to catch up to her, sacrificing his own life to do so. I take a deep breath before doing this. It’s the right thing to do. I have to stop. I have to break up with Danielle. And that’s what I do.