Chapter 55
Emily's POV:
I woke up abruptly to the harsh tango dancing of my ridiculous alarm clock that is a shame to human habit of sleeping soundly when tired as hell. Stretching my abnormal female arms and legs, I toppled down the bed like a kangaroo to rush into the washroom for my urgent blast of the bladder which actually had no shame and manners for being the bladder of a female all this time!
I was brushing my teeth, more like scrubbing them with a dog soap when I looked at the prominent red and blue bruise normal people naturally preferred to call a ‘hickey’ at the crook of my neck in my reflection in the mirror. Immediately, I turned around, my cheeks flaming red to remember events of that night, those unforgettable moments in the life of a female, who spends her first that night with her husband.
That husband whom she loved with all her heart!
And that husband who had crawled in his hiding too ashamed to even come and face her after he showed her passion and love all night!
Why don't I drop my career as a doctor and start trying it, in being a drama queen?
Running down fast, I busied myself in making food and snacks, my hands actually paining from waking up all night and getting only an hour of sleep.
"Emily, dear. You're up so early. Why are you stressing yourself so much? I'm sure Edward will be fine. He's just busy in his office work dear. A young man like him needs to put his skills in managing his company, so don't worry much!"
Well. I was worried but not for him.
Packing all the stuff in a container, I rushed upwards to dress in something visual and wearable.
Gulping down one large glass of water and popping some grapes into my mouth as a light breakfast, I grabbed my purse and opened the door of my car hurriedly. I made sure to cover my neck to avoid any embarrassment and absurd notions, wearing large baggy pants to hide any signs of biting and raw passion which still persisted even after all these days.
I looked at the road, my fingers shaking from the fear of driving after a long time when I wasn't even good at driving in the first place. Nevertheless, I took a deep long breath to calm my raging nerves.
Thinking all is well that ends well!
Wait, where the hell does this quote come from? Because my ending was as poor and sad as the ending of the Titanic which never got its happiness in spite of its lovers being hopelessly in love with each other.
It'd been four days and Edward still hadn't come home. Normally, I would've barged into his office or wherever he is to pull him by his ears and scold him for making me worry over him so much.
But now the circumstances were different. Really different.
We crossed that imaginary line which always existed proudly between us, too proud and determined to budge even an inch no matter what happened in our twenty years of friendship, and which disappeared so urgently and hurriedly the moment Edward touched me and my soul, showering me with his kisses and passion.
Sometimes I wonder if I really had any type of control in myself. Was I a complete fool when I considered myself experienced in controlling myself or my feelings?
No. That control was never there. It has always been my delusion and my wild illogical theories to convince myself. The reason I stayed in my place, seeing him happy with someone else and not making any move though how much I wanted him to notice and love me as he did to Lara, was because he never took any step towards me that way.
Time moved for both of us and though I was happy, as his friend, in his happiness in somebody else, at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder that maybe... that maybe really I had been wrong all along in loving him. Maybe I hadn't loved him better.
Maybe I was not such a good match for him, the one whom he imagined his bright future with or the one he wished to link arms with and walk in front of the world with a proud smile on his beautiful face.
Maybe he's too ashamed of me to even tell it to me that he can't be friends with me anymore!
But if he would just tell me I am plain, abnormal, stubborn or an irritating tomboy, too simple for a big, rich and successful person like him, I would understand for sure. I swear I would leave him the day he tells me to. Though it may be hard for me to do it instantly I would try to leave him.
Maybe forever. If my heart possesses some magic ability to forget him like some bad past, then, of course, I am all ready!
Or maybe if he becomes too rude with me and hits me with a hockey stick or something, then I can always leave him!
I just needed some reason to leave him, one logical reason which had nothing to do with my emotional being and which would convince my heart to leave him behind.
If him loving someone else and that too being his first love, not to mention me witnessing his loving smooches with her was not a solid and convincing reason for me to leave him behind, then I was afraid I would never be able to do it.
Because I was afraid I had come too far in my unrequited love for him, too far that I couldn't even go back and too far that I was scared if I moved an inch without him in my life, I would be doing wrong to both of us!
Doing wrong to our persistent friendship which is the only thing holding us together!
But who was I even convincing? Huh? My heart?
Well. Maybe I don't deserve him. Or his love.
I never doubted myself or my family status before in judging my relationships with anyone, especially males, but now that I was thinking it now, I couldn't help but wonder that we two lived in a separate world.
Totally different worlds!
Though we lived together, joked and laughed together, ate and smiled together, cried and snorted together, fell and rose together, these factors could never change the fact that I never belonged to his world.