Chapter 22 - Part I

Its unedited again, do point out if I have made mistakes. Thank you!

*************

I couldn't say a word to Terrence.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to slap him, curse him, kiss him, tell him I love him - so much I wanted to do but instead, I stayed silent.

Still and silent.

Only the babies' giggles and the sound of my heart pounding was heard by my ears. It seemed that even Terrence had a lot to say but couldn't say a word. All the promises we had made to each other before today seemed like white lies now.

We promised each other to stay together.

We promised each other to fight for the twins we had loved so much.

We promised each other to be strong.

We were none of that now.

We were sitting next to each other yet there seemed to be a distance between us. My insecurity had hurt him. The entire situation had hurt me and it was making me feel insecure.

I doubted my capabilities of making decisions. For a moment, I thought it would've had been better if I had taken legal custody of the twins the moment I had found them. It might be a tedious process, but it could have saved me a lot of heartache now.

But I had trusted Terrence. And I still trusted him. We both were confident that Vincent Powers would be understanding, that it would be a simple matter of discussion and then everything would be solved.

But the world was not as black and white as it seemed.

"Alyssa." Terrence finally whispered, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Everything will be alright." I lied perfectly, "We might not have seen this coming, but we'll find a way out of this mess." My tone rose slowly, "We will find a way to keep Raine and Ryan with us - I'll do anything to make sure of that. I didn't find two babies in a dumpster, took them to my place, cared for them, loved them, spent sleepless nights, restless days just to give them away to a heartless bitch —"

"— Did you just say *dumpster?"

"No."

Terrence looked at me with such gravity in his eyes that I squirmed in my place. For a woman as clingy as I was, it was for the first time that I wasn't cuddling Terrence or sitting in his lap. The distance felt better this time round.

"Alyssa."

"No."

"Alyssa. I'm not going to ask you again. Where did you find the twins?"

"It will definitely be better if you don't ask me again. I found them in a carton in an alley behind the hospital."

"Any lies of omission?" He asked again, his disbelief showing on his face.

"Nope." I didn't look at him.

"Alyssa, look I know you're mad at me—"

"— I'm not mad at you, Terrence!" I shouted, "You had no idea this would happen! We were being too careless and didn't prepare ourselves for this...mess well. It's not our fault. But this doesn't mean I'm going to let the twins suffer just because we couldn't take right decisions at the right time! I have no idea what Larissa will do to them and I'm not going to let your father be an idiot and jeopardise everything I've taken care of. I don't want Raine and Ryan to grow up feeling rejected just because I didn't fight for them the way I should have!"

He looked at me for a moment, his blue eyes shimmering with too many emotions, just like mine. He was hurting too, but I was too far gone to be understanding, now.

"Alyssa," Terrence wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, "I promise you'll be back at your rightful place - with me and the twins - soon." He kissed my forehead.

"How soon, Terrence? Fifty years later?" I cried.

"You don't believe that, Alyssa. I love you." He frowned at me but held me just as tight.

"Guess it's finally time to test if it's true or not, isn't it?" I wryly chuckled.

And then, I suddenly felt horrible.

How the fuck could I say that to him? I had seen and felt his devotion, his love, and right at the moment when all of it was being tested, I was being a bitch.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, and cried some more, "I'm so sorry, Terrence. God, I know how much you do love me. I didn't mean any of that —"

"I know," he hushed me and kissed my mouth softly, "I know you're just angry. I love you. I know you."

"I love you, too - so much Terrence, so much."

************

I managed to get through the night without having any kind of stupid thoughts that could fuck up my mind more than it already was. Even though I was trying to look forward to something positive in the morning, I couldn't sleep a wink at night. It was almost impossible. My brain was so hyperactive with possibilities and explanations that it refused to calm down.

As amazing as it was that Terrence shared his father's devotion towards the one he loved, it was honestly being a pain in the ass. I knew that if ever anyone - especially someone we've never heard about - told Terrence that I wasn't what he believed me to be, he would refuse to believe that person.

Same was the case with his father. All of a sudden, we couldn't expect him to understand that the wife he loved so much was completely opposite to the kind and caring woman he believed her to be.

But, he at least could have let me stay near the kids. As much as I trusted Terrence, I was still anxious about letting Larissa near Raine and Ryan. I could be overreacting, yes, but my babies were barely a year old. They were innocent and wouldn't even understand if something was wrong - nor would they be able to tell about it to their Dodo.

That's why, I had my fingers crossed, hoping that maybe Larissa changed for good and would at least stay amiable towards them.

"Enough of moping around, Liz." Allie sighed the moment the entered the room and found me lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "It's the first time I'm seeing you look so horrible, and honestly, you're scaring me. You are strong, honey. These things are not supposed to scare you. I know I said some shitty stuff yesterday, but looking at how miserable your boyfriend was, I can at least ask you to hope everything turns out to be better."

"I'm not moping, Allie." I sat up, "I'm just thinking."

Looking at her outfit, I frowned a little. She was dressed and looked like she was about to go out and —

My eyes widened in realisation.

"You don't need to worry, Dree. I'll be fine alone here. I'll probably take a walk outside or something, too. You can go and meet your boyfriend and stay there as long as you want to."

She rolled her eyes, but her blush gave it all away, "I won't be long, I'll be back soon. Aaron knows what you two are going through so he himself won't let me leave you alone for a lot of time."

Half a month ago, my poor best friend finally caved in. I didn't know if I should have been happy or not. As much as I wanted her to put up more resistance, I was happy that she was finally happy, and now had someone to take care of her. No matter how stubborn she was to admit it, she was an emotional cry baby inside and a comforting hug was always the best way to heal her broken heart.

What I couldn't do with thousands of hug, I knew Aaron would do it with just one embrace.

"I'm so happy for you, Allie." I gushed, "It's so good to see you like this, a looking all pampered and happy."

She rolled her eyes again and gave me a kiss on my cheek, muttering a good bye and leaving the next moment. I chuckled when I remembered the tantrum she threw when a picture of hers had appeared in the newspaper as Aaron Fischer's girlfriend.

I sighed.

I just wished this happiness would've come at a better time, when I could've been completely happy for her and not muddled with my own issues.

*************

Just as I had told Allie, I finally came out of my temporary hermitage and went to the park that had held so many memories for. It was the same park where Terrence had first seen Raine and Ryan, from where it all had kicked into gear.

It didn't feel the same anymore, and I wasn't able to pick up the cheery atmosphere in the park. A few people who recognised me sent me smiles and I faked a smile back. This park was too much for me.

The air was thick with memories of me coming here everyday with the twins and spending my time here with them. I could imagine myself holding their twin stroller as they bounced and squealed in their seats, their smile being enough to make my day.

Allie was so right. My life felt impossible without them in it. Not when I was alive and fit to fight for them.

I kept walking around, ignoring some of the stares because it had been months since I had come here all alone. I didn't care what people thought. I had just come here for a moment of peace and fresh air, and honestly, I was not getting any.

I'd rather be back home.

"Hello, cousin. You look as miserable as I want you to be."

*Some things never change.

I turned around and my heart stopped the moment I saw Larissa with a conniving smile on her face, her hands on the handle of the twin stroller where my babies were sitting very quietly, looking very very scared.

I took a step towards the stroller.

She took a step back, shaking her head and smirking. I didn't like how scared and still my babies were. Just a few moments ago I was imagining them bouncing and squealing in their strollers, and now they looked like someone had strapped them tip to toe and had scared them into staying still.

Raine and Ryan both kept looking at me hopefully, and suddenly I was drawn to the very first day I had met them. My heart pounded in my chest and a tear trickled down my cheek, looking at how helpless and hopeful my babies looked as they gazed at me.

Raine started crying.

"Shut up!" Larissa yelled at her and she quietened instantly.

I couldn't see that.

I immediately moved forward and scooped up both Raine and Ryan in my arms before Larissa could step even an inch behind. I was furious: she didn't have to treat them this way. All my hopes of Larissa changing for the better were dashed, and I knew I wouldn't want Raine and Ryan to stay with her anymore.

"Why are you doing this?!" I cried out, not caring if anyone could hear it. Raine and Ryan clung to me as if their life depended on it and both of them were shivering.

"Why am I doing this?" Her brows rose, "Your father snatched away all the money my father deserved. *Your* family is the reason I spent my entire life in poverty. Now that I finally got someone who could pay for all my needs and make up for all I missed my entire life, these brats had to just come along and ruin my game." She sneered in disgust.

"What kind of a woman are you?!" I spat, "They are you own children. Don't you feel anything for them - the ones you had in your womb for months?"

"That melodrama and shit won't work for me," she snorted. "I love Vincent, I really do. But I love his money more. I already have to share half of his inheritance with Terrence - I can't handle sharing it with two more. If Terrence hadn't been this smart, he would've had already been thrown out and disowned by his father. But he never falls for my feminine wiles."