Chapter 16: Waiting…wanting

Mikhail:

My anger slowly builds as I listen to the conversation happening a bookshelf over. What the hell! I gulp loudly, feeling my throat constrict. Not wanting to hear any more of the conversation, I pick up my things and wordlessly walk out of the library. Rowan calls me, but I ignore him, and the rest of the day drags on. Every time I look over Nevaeh’s desk, I imagine her and Aaron together, and my anger resurfaces.

When I get home, I rush into my room and retract my wings. I’m so distracted by thoughts of Nevaeh and that douche, Aaron, that I don’t notice the other presence in my room.

“Wow, look who’s a grown boy now.”

I turn, startled. “Kara? What are you doing here?”

Kara moves closer and inspects me from head to toe.

Kara is a friend from way back when Rowan and I were in foster care. She’s probably the only angel that I know who doesn’t sneer at my “mutt” status.

Ruffling my hair, she pulls me into her arms for a hug. Relief runs through my body as I tighten my arms around her. After a moment, she moves back and holds my chin between her fingers. “Alex called me a few days ago. He thought you might need someone to talk to, so I kissed my man and hit the road. What’s up, kid?”

Recalling what I heard earlier, I can feel the tension return to my body. My wings flutter in agitation as I release a frustrated breath.

“I don’t know why Alex called you Kara. I’m fine” Kara looks at me suspiciously as she walks to the bed and takes a seat. “Are you sure, kid? Cause with the way you rushed into this room, it looked like something was going on.”

Walking over to the bed, I sit next to her. “I just…there’s this girl. We had a moment.” I course my fingers through my hair, frustrated as I recall today’s events. Kara quirks a questioning brow. “What about this girl?”

Putting my elbows over my knees, I look at my hands. “I know that with the council breathing down my neck, a relationship with her would just make things worse. So, I told her that I wasn’t interested.” Kara’s head turns to me in surprise. “Wow, that sucks. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

I nod my head in affirmation. I mean, there’s nothing else I can do.

Frowning, Kara rises from her perch and rubs her hands over her thighs thoughtfully. “Okay, so what’s the problem then?”

I can feel frustration rise through my body again as I stand up and tower over Kara. “I can’t do this, Kara. She’s human. How am I going to explain this to her? The problem is…I can’t stop thinking about her. It hurts to be around her, and there’s this guy...”

Kara places her hands on my shoulders, calming my agitated movements. “Look, Khail, maybe you’re being too hasty. I mean, you’re allowed to have a life. Being what we are…things will never be easy.” She grasps my arms and ushers me back to the bed. “Nothing in life is certain—even for immortals. You have to consider that if you let her go, you can’t become upset if someone else steps up.”

Thinking about the conversation between Nevaeh and her friend earlier, I can see what Kara’s right. I can’t treat Nevaeh this way anymore. She doesn’t deserve it. Walking to the window, I look at the house across the street, noting the gloomy atmosphere and the single light on the second floor. It’s her bedroom. Kara silently stands next to me and grasps my elbow, “Just think about it, okay?”

I nod my head never but don’t look away from the single light in the house.

Kara sighs and slides her arm around mine. “Good, now let’s go have some dinner. Alex is bringing Chinese, and I’m starving.” Laughing, we both walk out the door, arm in arm.

That night I glide around the city using the cover of darkness as a shield. My mind, however, is whirling. Confused, I stop over a nearby rooftop to gather my thoughts. I’m so distracted that I don’t notice the presence that lands behind me.

“I see you’re back, mate. You have some bloody nerve showing your face here. Thankfully, I like people with guts.”

I turn towards the voice. It’s the demon—Azazel. “Look, man, I’m not in the mood right now.”

Azazel smirks in reply and reaches into his jacket pocket. I tense up, waiting for him to pull out a weapon, but instead, he pulls out a flask and takes a sip.

Seeing my guarded look, he holds the flask in front of my face as an offering. “Looks like you need some of this. Have at it, chap.” I warily reach for the flask and investigate the opening. The liquid is clear.

I take a quick sip scrunching my eyes at the burning sensation rolling down my throat, and cough several times, trying to clear the bitter taste of the alcohol from my tongue.

Azazel laughs at my discomfort. “Never had a drink, have you?” I shake my head. “No, that was the first time, and to be honest, it tasted like shit.”

Shaking his head, Azazel chuckles. “You just have to keep drinking, mate. Once your right and pissed, it gets better.”

I smile wryly, amazed by the demon’s easy banter.

“So, what brings you around, boy?”

I move closer as he takes another drink. “I just needed to clear my head.”

He nods his head in understanding. “It has to be woman problems then. There’s nothing that makes a man run around more confused than a lovely bird.”

I look at him, amazed by his insight, but do not relent. I mean, he’s a stranger and a demon. I’m not stupid.

Azazel moves towards the edge of the roof, placing his hands over the sides. “You have never told me what you are, boy?”

I shake my head at his persistence but decide there’s no harm in letting him know. “If you must know. I’m part demon and angel.” Azazel moves back, stunned.

“What the bloody hell! Are you riffing me, boy? Are you mad?” I shake my head at the sound of his British accent getting deeper. “Nope. Unfortunately, it’s true. According to the council, I’m a half breed abomination.”

Azazel shakes his head and places his hand on my shoulder as he sneers out. “The council? Bloody wankers, the lot. What in the bloody hell do they know? They all live in the middle ages. Wanting’ to keep the lines pure. Bunch of prejudiced arseholes.”

For the first time in a while, I let out a genuine laugh.

I look back to Azazel, who is also laughing. “Why are you being nice to me, demon?” Azazel places an arm over the side of the roof railing and shrugs. “You remind me of someone I knew a long time ago. He was a friend.”

I quirk a brow at his cryptic words, but Azazel doesn’t elaborate.

Instead, he places the flask on the railing and reaches into his pocket again. This time I don’t feel threatened. Between his thumb and index finger is a card. He extends it to me.

Taking it, I look at the writing. The Garden of Eden. I look at him in question. “It’s one of my nightclubs. I’m usually there most nights. My cell numbers and the address to the club are on it; if you ever need anything, just call.”

Tucking the card into my pocket, I respond. “I’ll keep that in mind, demon.” We both smile in commiseration and nod our heads. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, we’ve bonded.

Ready to go home, I retract my wings and give him a two-finger salute. Azazel responds by lifting his flask and extending it out to the air in front of me.

I don’t go home right away, though. As if feeling a call, I make my way to Nevaeh’s balcony and look inside the window. Nevaeh is sitting in the center of her bed with her knees bent and is covering her head. After a moment, she moves her hand and begins brushing off tears. Why is she crying?

She looks so lost that my heart breaks. I don’t know how long I stand there, but eventually, her tears wear down, and she falls asleep. Before I can think it through, I open her balcony door and step into her room. As I move closer to her bed, I look around. It isn’t until I’m standing in front of her that the need to move closer lessens. However, the urge to touch her is nearly overwhelming. Thankfully, I have come to my senses before, I do.

Instead, I kneel beside her bedside and look at her beautiful face. She’s lying on the bed sideways with her hand under her cheek. Her lips are swollen, and her face is slightly red from crying.

All I can do is stare at her as if mesmerized. It’s at that moment that I realize that what I feel for her is not a crush. It’s something deeper, which scares me to the bone.

Suddenly, her eyes pop open, and she looks at me. My breath halts in my chest as I wait for her to become frightened, but instead, she smiles and whispers in the sweetest voice. “Mikhail, my angel. Sodales Semper.” Then she falls back to sleep.

Speechless, I stand there, stunned. What did she just say? It can’t be. After a few minutes, I rush out her balcony.

“ALEX!” I yell out desperately as I run through the house, searching for him. Alex comes out of his office, surprised at my agitated appearance. “Khail, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

I shake my head as I pull him back into the office and close the door behind us. Running my hands through my hair, I turn to Alex. “I was flying around stretching my wings and decided to check on Nevaeh—” I mumble breathlessly.

Alex moves closer and places his hand on my shoulders to calm me down. “Khail, do you seriously think it’s a good idea to be flying around after Lukan came here the other day?”

I shake my head, trying to gasp for breath as my heart thunders. “No…no, I just needed a few moments to myself. Anyway, I saw that she looked upset, and I thought I’d hang around to make sure everything was okay.”

Alex raises his hands in question. “What’s going on with you and that girl, Khail?”

Shaking my head, I wave to the house across the street. “Nothing. I just was worried about her.” Alex raises an amused brow. “Okay. So, you decide to spy on her from her bedroom window? Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that?”

Diverting the conversation towards the matter at hand, I move back to Alex, “Never mind that. I went into her room after she fell asleep because I wanted to make sure she was okay, and she opened her eyes and called me her angel, Alex. She whispered Sodales Semper…then she fell back to sleep.”

Alex sobers quickly. His expression would be comical if it wasn’t under such ominous circumstances. “Are you serious? Are you sure that’s what she said?”

Running out of steam, I sit down on the nearest chair. “It was as clear as day, Alex.”

Alex laughs heartily and pats me on the back. “Holy shit, Khail. She’s your mate. That’s great.”

He must see my worried expression because his smile instantly falters. “I don’t see what the problem is, Khail. Sure, it’s earlier than you expected, but hey, it’s great news.”

“It’s not the right time, Alex. What am I supposed to do?” Alex looks down at his hands and exhales calmly. “What do you want to do, Khail?”

I shrug my shoulders as desolation threatens to consume me. “I can’t be with her. She’s human, Alex. What am I going to do with a human mate? And what if the council finds out? What then?”

Alex’s eyes are full of sympathy as he considers my predicament. “I don’t know, Khail. It seems that you were given something that so few supernaturals like us find. Is that really what you want to do? Be sure, because if you let her go, you might lose her forever.”

With those words, he walks to the door and mutters. “Look, Khail, maybe you shouldn’t be too hasty. Think it through…”

I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t.