Chapter 15: Ready to fight

Nevaeh:

I’m too agitated to return to lunch, so I text Jez, and she and the girls meet me in the gym. Jez being the best friend ever, smiles and places a cupcake on my lap. “Since you decided to skip out of lunch, I thought we’d bring you something sweet.”

I can tell by the look on her face that she’s worried about me, but Jez knows not to ask when everyone is around.

The opportunity comes up when our fifth period is canceled due to an emergency. We are told to go to the library by the school secretary Mrs. Chance. Filing into the library, Jez and I find a solitary spot.

“Poor Mr. Palmer, I hope everything is all right at home. On the bright side, we don’t have to sit through a boring physics lecture.”

I laugh as Jez places her hand on the side of her head, pretending to shoot herself. She’s such a goof sometimes.

We both find a spot on the wall and sit shoulder to shoulder on the library floor. Stretching out my legs, I cross my arms and mutter. “You’re so bad.”

Jez bumps her shoulder with mine and curiously mumbles. “Speaking of bad. Why didn’t you want to go to lunch?”

Shaking my head, I retreat into the curtain of my hair. “My mom called me. She’s not going to be home all weekend. She has work to do.” Jez looks at me with pity. I try to play it off. “Don’t worry about it, Jez, I’m used to it.” Jez must notice my resigned look because she drops the subject.

“Okay then, changing the subject. What’s going on between you and Aaron?”

Looking at her from the side of my eyes, I shake my head. “There’s nothing going on between Ponyboy and me.”

Jez tilts her head with an incredulous snicker. “Seriously? Come on, girl, that boy is hot. I mean, he might not be in the same league as a certain gorgeous tortured boy that likes to wear a lot of black, but he’s close.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s never been like that. Plus, Ponyboy is a player.”

Jez slaps her hands over her thigh, sits up on her knees, and faces me. “Maybe that’s what you need.”

I’m open my mouth to argue, but she holds up her hand and halts my response. “No, listen…This whole time you’ve been looking for love, and that’s cool, but what if you just have some fun for now. I mean, if anyone deserves fun, it’s you. I just…it sucks that we can’t hang out how we used to anymore. Maybe you need to find a little bit of happiness.” Thinking through her words, I can’t help but see her point. “It’s not your fault, Jez. I…I just…everything is just so messed up at home… I hate it.”

Shifting on the floor uncomfortable, I can feel tears gathering in my eyes again. Jez rests her hand over mine in comfort. She’s such a great friend. Pulling myself together, I pat Jez’s hand gratefully. “Maybe you’re right. I’m seriously tired of caring about people who don’t care about me. Maybe I do need someone who will make me feel good for once. I mean, the only guy I have ever been with is Shane, and he moved away last year.”

Jez gives me a speculative look. “Why didn’t you…you know… with Travis?” Shrugging my shoulders, I roll my eyes at the thought of Travis. “I don’t know. I guess with Travis, it never felt right. Every time he pressured me, I pulled further away. Which I guess is a good thing because he turned out to be a cheater.”

Jez sits back down, adjusting her lace skirt. “So then, how about you jump on the horse per se, with Aaron? Unless you have someone else in mind.” She wiggles her eyebrows in a comedic fashion, making me laugh.

“No. I thought there might have been someone, but he’s not interested.” Jez leans her head on my shoulder, smiling devilishly. “Well, then Aaron it is. I mean, a few girls have told me that he’s pretty good in the sack.”

Leaning back, I contemplate her words. “Look, Jez, I’m just not the type to jump into bed with a random guy. With Shane, it was more like an experimental period. I mean, we had sex twice, and it was nothing special. I think maybe I’ll wait for now.”

Jez nods her head in understanding. “Okay.” She whispers.

I settle back and close my eyes with a sigh. I may have told Jez that I don’t want to jump into bed with a random guy, but my body screams to be touched. Too bad that the only person I want doesn’t want me. How depressing is that?