Chapter 17: Can’t think

Nevaeh:

I release a relieved breath as soon as the final bell rings. Time to go home. Walking out with Jez, I wave as she walks to her car. Her lips are curled into a pout, and her shoulders are slumped. “Yuck, I have a late shift tonight. If I get a break, I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yeah, have fun,” I call out as I make my way to my Jeep. At that moment, I resolve to not let Mikhail’s dismissal get to me. As Jez said, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I’ll get over Mikhail eventually.

On my way home, I make the decision to reach out to my dad. Maybe it’s not that he’s avoiding me, maybe he’s as busy as he says, and I'm just oversensitive. When I was little, my mom would reprimand him for being so busy that he would forget to eat. Maybe that’s why he forgot my birthday.

That’s why I decided that I would take lunch to my dad. I remember my mom used to stop at this deli near his office and buy him a roast beef sandwich with a pickle on the side. My dad loved it. He said that it was like taking a trip to heaven. Even though it has been years since we brought lunch to dad. I thought it would be a good way to see him.

Walking into the office, I notice that the secretary’s desk is empty. It’s odd because I’ve never seen the secretary's desk empty. His old secretary, Ms. Brown, used to be sitting behind the desk busily working. She retired last year. This new secretary must not be as dedicated. Brow furrowed, I make my way down the hallway until I reach my dad’s office. As I get closer, I hear a female giggle and my dad’s deep baritone chuckle. I don’t know why, but something tells me not to knock on the door. Looking through the small window in the door, I see my father sitting in a chair and a young blond woman sitting on his lap. They’re kissing, and he’s rubbing her body.

All I can do is stand there with disbelief. Tears gather in my eyes as I back out of the hallway quietly. Wiping my eyes, I run to my Jeep. “Oh, god.” I cry, gripping the steering wheel shakily. Tears rain down my face, and my breathing hitches with my sobs. Wiping my eyes, I lean my forehead against the steering wheel and take a couple of deep breaths. I don’t know what to do. I need to talk to someone. Looking at my phone, I decide to call Jez. “Hi, this is Jez, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave a message.”

I don’t bother leaving a message. I mean, what would I say? Hey, Jez, I’m calling because I caught my dad cheating on my mom with his secretary. Call me back when you can. Nope, there’s no way I’m doing that. Instead, I disconnect the phone and sit in my Jeep, pondering what I just saw. Maybe it was not what I thought it was. But I knew I was lying to myself.

Trying to find an explanation, I dial my father’s number. He answers on the third ring. “Nevaeh, I’m very busy right now. What is it?” His breathing is erratic.

Clearing my throat, I mumble a response. “Hey, dad, I was wondering what time you’re coming home.”

The line goes silent for a moment. “Sorry, Nevaeh, but I have a huge business contract that is going to take me all night.”

I grip the phone tight to my ear in disbelief. “Oh, okay. Just checking.” I mumble.

Disgust runs through me when I hear him stifle a moan. “Good then. Well, there’s money in the kitchen drawer if you need anything.” He disconnects the call.

Lips tight, I set my phone down and close my eyes. My disbelief turns to anger as I slam my fist over the steering wheel and set my rage free. “You liar! You liar! This whole time you’ve been lying to us! I hate you!” I slam my hand one last time as my anger dissipates into sadness again. Why would he do this to us?

I don’t know how I get home. It’s as if I left my body and my brain took over. The house is quiet. The only sound you can hear is the echo of my feet. Shoulders slumped with dejection, I walk to my room, lie on my bed, and cry. At some point, I must have fallen asleep because suddenly, I’m not in my room. In the dream, I’m lying on a bed of grass, and Mikhail is leaning over me. Beautiful wings protrude from his back, and his eyes are glowing. I shift closer, not breaking eye contact, and whisper the words that he always says to me. “Mikhail, my angel. Sodales Semper.” At those words, my vision dims, and I fall into a deeper sleep.

The next morning, I open my eyes and sigh. The sun beams down on me from the bedroom windows, warming my skin. Shifting my eyes, I glance around the room and release a sigh of relief because it’s Saturday. I don’t have to go to school and face Mikhail today. My mind shies away from the events of the night before. All I know is that I wish I had never gone to my father’s office.

Making myself a bowl of cereal, I sit in front of the television to watch my favorite movie. Grease. I love the music and the characters. I always sing along with Rizzo. Whenever I feel down, the music cheers me up. I spend the rest of the day doing laundry, painting my nails, and listening to music. At eight O’clock Jez calls me telling me that she’ll pick me up at nine. Slipping on my dress and shoes, I feel like a million bucks. I put on some lip gloss, line my eyes, and brush on some blush. I twirl around the room, feeling sexy. If a little bit of loneliness sneaks into my thoughts, I let it go. Tonight is for me, and I refuse to let my problems get me down.

Jez shows up looking beautiful in a black strappy dress. The girls look just as gorgeous. I grab my clutch, place my fake ID inside along with some money and my lip gloss. Jez straps on her seatbelt and looks at us. “Are you ladies ready for a fun night?”

We cry out with excitement. “Yeah!”

“Well, we’re going to this hot new club called Garden of Eden. My cousin Tori tells me that it’s awesome. So, let's Party!” We all hoot and holler as the car winds its way down the street. The club is beautiful. Kind of like a fantasy, with a forest theme. The chairs are trees, and the tables are tree trunks. The dance floor is green and glows, giving off the illusion of grass. The ceiling and walls reflect the night sky, with stars glowing in every direction. As soon as we find a table, we order drinks and begin to sway to the music. After a few drinks, we get on the dance floor and dance. At some point, sweat is coursing down my chest, and my throat feels dry. Walking to the bar, I take a seat and order a drink. Even though the night has been great, I feel that something is missing. Running my hand over my drink, my mind drifts back to my parents and the situation with Mikhail.

I’m about to take another drink when I feel a presence beside me. I turn to face the person next to me and almost choke on my drink when I get a good look at the man. He is captivating. Almost otherworldly in his beauty. His eyes are golden, and his hair is the color of wheat. The guy is most definitely fit. He’s wearing a black suit that fits perfectly across his broad shoulders, trim waist, and firm thighs.

He leans close and gives me a sensual smile. “Hello, there, luv. A pretty bird-like, you should not be sitting here all alone.”

I almost faint at the sound of his husky voice. Not only is this guy hot, but he has an English accent. I smile, letting his flirtation distract me from my thoughts. “Well, if you must know. I’m not here alone. I’m here with a few of my friends.” I say, gesturing to my friends who are twirling around the dance floor with several guys.

Jez is currently making out with a hot tattooed guy in the corner. Good for her. He glances over at my friends, then back at me. “Well, luv, it looks as if your friends are busy. Would you care to join me for a spot?”

I quirk a brow at him. He’s definitely not shy. But then again, why would he be; he’s gorgeous. “I don’t know. You’re a stranger, and I don’t even know your name.”

Laughing heartily, he reaches his hand out in greeting. “Azazel…my name is Azazel Dark, and I own this club.” Surprised, I place my hand in his and shake it. “I’m Nevaeh. Is this really your club?” He smiles at the sound of my name. “Nevaeh...” He says, licking his lips as if tasting my name on his tongue. And let me tell you, it’s hot to see him do it. Moving closer, he sexily mutters. “Do you know that your name is Heaven spelled backward, luv?”

I roll my eyes at his comment. “Really? I didn’t know that.” He laughs, hearing the sarcasm in my voice. Thankfully, he doesn’t take offense to my sarcasm. I could imagine most guys would be turned off by my snarky attitude.

I smile and gesture around the club. “The club is beautiful.”

Azazel smirks in reply. “Thank you. Now about that drink?”

I nod my head. “Okay. I’d love some wine.”

He snaps his fingers, and the bartender quickly rushes over. “What can I get you, Mr. Dark, sir?” The man practically vows as he asks the question, almost like a dog trying to get the attention of his owner.

“I will have a pint Charles, and for the lady, a glass of my best wine,”

Charles vows again. “Right away, sir.” A minute later, Charles settles two glasses in front of us. Before I can reach for my glass, Azazel grasps both and stands up. “These drinks would be better on my rooftop. That’s my private section. He turns and walks to some hidden stairs, then turns back to me with an expectant grin.

I look at Jez, who is now heavily making out with the tattooed guy and hold a hand up. “Give me a moment while I tell my friends where I’m going.” He nods his head and waits there patiently.

Smiling, I stop in front of Jez and tap her on the shoulder. She ignores me at first. I clear my throat and tap her on the shoulder a little more forcefully again. Separating herself from the guy, she turns to me with a dazed expression. “Hey, Nev. What’s up?”

Giving the guy an apologetic smile, I pull her to the side and point to where Azazel is standing. “That’s Azazel, he owns the club, and he asked me to go to the rooftop with him for a drink. I’ll be up there if you need me.”

Jez’s eyes widen at the sight of Azazel. “Holy shit, Nev. He’s hot. Go!” She shoos me away. “Go and have fun. Text me if you decide to catch another ride, okay?”

I nod my head walking back to Azazel. “Show me your rooftop?”

Smiling, Azazel nods his chin and leads me to the stairs. “Follow me, luv.”

The view of the rooftop is beautiful. There are canopy seats in each corner with comfortable pillows and a fire pit. I walk towards the edge of the roof and look at the beautiful city lights gleaming like stars. “This is so beautiful,” I say to Azazel as he lays the drink next to me.

“Not as beautiful as the scenery before me.” He says, looking at me appraisingly.

I smile shyly, hiding my face behind the curtain of my hair. I’ve never been comfortable with being complimented. I mean, I’m just me. Azazel moves a tendril of hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek as he gazes intently into my eyes. I bite my lips as I gaze into his beautiful golden eyes and lips. He’s just so mesmerizing.

Seeing my perusal, Azazel angles his head close to mine and kisses me. The kiss is sweet and decadent, but somehow it doesn’t compare to Mikhail’s kiss.

Moving back, I lick my bottom lip. Azazel gives me a questioning frown but doesn’t comment. Embarrassed by my behavior, I whisper, “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to moving so fast.”

Azazel smiles, nonplused. “It is I who should be sorry. That was very forward of me. I was just carried away by your beauty.”

I smile, feeling sad that it’s not Mikhail saying those things to me. Azazel must notice my wistful smile because he asks. “What has you so sad?”

I shake my head vehemently. “What makes you think that I’m sad?”

Azazel quirks brow. “Let’s just say I can recognize sadness when I see it. Now let me be your confidant tonight, luv.”

I gaze into his earnest eyes, surprised that he’d care about my feelings. Most guys would rather cut their ears off than listen to a girl’s problem. Somehow though, I feel that I can trust him. Taking a sip of my drink, I think for a moment.

“Yesterday was my birthday.” He tilts his head and smiles. “And how old are you, sweetness?”

I imitate his stance and reply. “I’m eighteen.”

Azazel pulls back, surprised by my admission. “You are younger than I thought.”

Smiling, I pat his hand and mutter. “Don’t worry, Azazel, it was perfectly legal for you to kiss me. Besides, I doubt you’re much older than I am.”

Bemused, Azazel releases a relieved breath and places his hand around my waist. “That is some bloody good news. It would pain me greatly to find that I’d kiss an underaged girl. However, I don’t think that’s what has you so sad.”

Gulping loudly at his intuitiveness, I take another drink of my wine and exhale deeply. I feel a bit lightheaded and giddy. I’m getting tipsy. “I guess I’ve just been having a really hard time lately. Some things have happened that have made me question a few things about myself.”

I look down and run my index finger across the rim of my glass thoughtfully.

Azazel places his hand around my forearm and caresses it up and down sensuously. “Is it a man?”

I nod my head slowly. “Two, actually,” I laugh at Azazel’s incredulous look.

“It’s not like that. One of them is my father. The other is someone that I like.”

I take another drink, gulping down the remainder and wipe my mouth with my fingers. “My dad… I caught him cheating on my mom.” Azazel’s hand stops its movement at my comment. His eyes gleam with compassion, which makes me feel warm inside.

“That’s devastating. I’m sorry.” He mutters gently.

I shake my head as tears gather in my eyes. Looking at him through my tears, I feel one slip down my cheek. “Thank you, Azazel,”

I say, feeling the weight of my secret lift from my shoulders.

Azazel wipes my tear with his thumb and pulls me into his arms. It’s so comforting that I almost forget that he’s a stranger.

He places his hand under my chin, making me look into his eyes. “It’s not your fault, luv. He’s the one with the failing.”

He must see my discomfort because he instantly changes the subject. “What about this other man that you have feelings for? What is wrong with him that he is not here?”

My heart stutters at the thought of Mikhail. “He doesn’t see me in that way. We kissed once, and he told me it was a mistake. I know how to pick them, huh?”

Azazel kisses my eyes then moves back. “No love, that’s his loss.”

Leaning my head against his chin, I stay in his comforting arms. “Yeah, I guess it is Mikhail’s loss.”

At my words, Azazel’s body stiffens. “Did you say his name is Mikhail?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, he goes to school with me. Actually, he lives across the street. You kind of remind me of him. I mean, his hair is dark and his eyes, but you both have this air about you. Like you can’t be hurt by anything.”

Azazel runs his hands through my hair and kisses my forehead again, which makes me feel really good. I’m about to suggest that he kiss me again when a ringtone disturbs our moment. It’s Azazel’s cell phone.