Adhrit Solanki had been astounded by the condition put forward by Neysa Thapar to say the least. His feelings of shock did not go unnoticed as his dark brown pools betrayed his emotions to the one craving for an insight.
"Say something, please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with raw pain and her tone desperate.
Adhrit was at a loss of words. On one hand was his unwavering loyalty to his wife whose actions make him feel like cursing that emotion to be never felt again and on the other hand lied his concern for his teenage friend. The vulnerability in her eyes made him go weak and falter on path which he knew as well as his breath. Neysa was the strongest woman he had known and to see vulnerability in her eyes was turmoil second to none.
"Why? Of all the things, why this, Neysa?" he demanded, his eyes letting an intense gaze linger over hers and search in them, for hints of a prank which he wanted the whole conversation to be.
For the first time in their friendship of years, he had used her given name and the occasion was such that she could not even celebrate listening to her name from his lips. She had always wondered how her given name would sound in his voice and when she finally found her answer, it seemed that she was facing thousand other questions, put forward by the eyes of the owner of that voice.
"Till this date, I lived with your memories, Adhrit. But to live with them, after accepting your proposition," She sighed deeply as she struggled to gain control of herself, "I don't think I am so strong. I want something to latch onto after all this and. These memories will be enough for me to stay alive."
Adhrit wanted to break everything his hands could land on. Such intense love for him and he had been dying for love since years. It almost made him mock his destiny for the irony of his life.
Before he could say anything, a knock on the door stopped his words. Neysa quickly wiped her tears and straightened herself as she called the person in.
"Ma'am, the patients are here. Would you like to begin with the appointments, or do you want to extend your lunch time for some more time?" asked the nurse who walked in.
"Send the first person in five minutes after Mr. Solanki leaves. I need to clean up before I can see the patients," she said with a weak smile on her lips.
"Sure, Ma'am," said the nurse as she walked out, closing the door behind her.
Neysa turned to face Adhrit, whose gaze never left her. Her eyes met his in an intense embrace, trying to understand that which would have been inexpressible through words and incoherent to ears.
"I'll take your leave now," he said suddenly, breaking the eye-lock, while Neysa's heart had filled enough to content the eternal thirst of her soul for him. She wanted to drink more of his presence and let her heart lose the way more. But alas, destiny had not been merciful enough in her case.
She stood up to bid him goodbye with a weak smile gracing her features, wondering why he was not revealing the answer to her proposition, but she did not want to put him on the spot by questioning him uprightly and at the same time, she could neither her heart from pondering over the worst possible consequences of her action. She could bear rejection but not silence, especially his.
"And about...the proposition, can we meet up later? When would you be free?" he asked suddenly, relieving her of her agonizing trail of thoughts.
"I am free in the evenings usually. Text me the venue and timings, I would be there," she said, trying to read into his features but it seemed that he had donned a mask which evaded a doctor's eyes.
It took every bit of her professionalism and work ethics to concentrate on the line of patients waiting for her rather than offering consolation to her desolate heart, seeking out a man far beyond her limits. She had heard the phrase saying that all was fair in love and war far too many times, but was that phrase enough to defend her unwavering love and passion towards a committed man, suffering in loveless love marriage?
The afternoon shift seemed like eons and she was left alone in her cabin after she had attended to her last patient. The innocence and positive vibes which her young patients emanated had always kept her going and that day was no different.
She took out her mobile to speak to Shipra about the happenings of the day when she noticed his message. The mere name managed to light the heart of hers which was lost on a dark and never-ending path.
"Tomorrow. 7:30 PM at Vivanta. Fine with you?" read the message. She responded with a single word expressing her approval and moved on to speak to Shipra.
"Hello! Neysa! Are you alright?" came Shipra's thundering questions as soon as the line got connected.
"How do you know that something had happened, Shipra? Did..." She was unable to complete her question. She knew the man whom she was talking about. He would have been angry to say the least, like everyone who had been kept in the dark about the one thing they had desperately waited for since years.
"Adhrit called me and questioned me. He told me that you confessed about your feelings to him. He asked me if I knew about it and if I knew, why did I never bother to tell him or help you come out of this. He was deeply pained," she exclaimed, hoping that Adhrit's mind had stabilized since his talk with her.
"I didn't know what else to do, Shipra. He asked me to be a surrogate to his child. Mohini refused to be a part of his child, Shipra. Being a surrogate in that way means being the mother of his child. It was the most twisted way in which my dream could have come true! And if I agree to that, I will never be able to part from the child and if I am able to, I will never be able to part from him. And that's why I asked something he will not be able to give me in return. But by some weird play of destiny, he agrees to it, maybe that one night of love will be enough to keep me going," said Neysa, lost in a trance as she eyed his picture in front of her.
"Neysa, Neysa, Neysa! Stop doing this to yourself! You will destroy yourself in his love! You will be left craving for him after this and he won't be able to give you what you want! Don't break your soul like this!" pleaded Shipra, trying to think of a way to reduce the pain of the two star-crossed friends of hers.
"There is nothing more to destroy me, Shipra. Every bit of my soul had been broken when my unconditional love for him was lost and Mohini's flattering love won. It got torn every time I saw him in pain, every time I realized I could wipe away his agonies, but I had no right to do so. It got cut every damn time he understood me as well as nobody ever could but failed to understand what my heart wanted. If not solace, let me at least take pain given by him. Destiny brought us to this crossroad, let it decide what it wants to do with these puppets this time," she mocked, her voice sans any warmth or happiness she stood for.
Preetika eyed at Mohini's lost figure when approaching footsteps pulled her out of the reverie. She looked up to see Sandeep walking in, emotions rising high in his eyes in close relation to those of Mohini's as Preetika involuntarily gulped at the irony of the situation.
Two of them were deeply in love but with different people who reciprocated in the most unusual of the ways- while Sandeep was in love with Mohini, she was in love with her husband. While Mohini's love for Sandeep was purely platonic and based on years of friendship, Adhrit's love for his wife was based on several assumptions he had made about her and his own love.
Understanding the need of the situation, Preetika curtly nodded at Sandeep expressing her solidarity with him as she staged a walkout, to give some privacy to the two lost and star-crossed lovers.
"Sorry, Mohini..." he whispered, faintly caressing her hair affectionately.
"Don't, San. It isn't your fault. You are a producer and should look for profits. That will come through appeasing the media and its their fault they have twisted my statements and maligned my reputation," she replied, her voice slightly cracking as she eyed the various photos of herself with her husband in the room of hers.
Sandeep took in a deep breath as he struggled to stop his own tears.
"Why don't you tell him, Mohini? You love him so much but let him think otherwise. Why? I don't understand why you are putting yourself through this hell," he complained, cupping her shoulders gently while his voice had several streaks of frustration in it.
"Tell the one who had fallen in love with my silence and lack of expectations, San? How can I erase his very foundation of love? I know how painful it is when you don't have a reason to love but you cannot stop loving the person, I don't want to put him through that. And it isn't that I haven't tried. I have tried my level best, but the result was his nonchalance which I dread the most," she answered, bringing the wine glass close to her lips when Sandeep toppled it over aggressively.
"You don't want to put him through that pain but what about the pain you are causing me, Mohini? Do you have any idea how it hurts to see someone you love in pain due to their love?" he burst, his emotions clouding his intellect as he brought about a revelation which he never intended to. Mohini stood up to her feet and looked at him in the eyes.
Mohini's eyes formed a haze of tears as she stood astounded with Sandeep's words. The friend in her suffered the stabs of the dagger named guilt several times over as the lover in her cried woefully at her fate.
"You know that we don't have a future, then why, Sandeep? Why did you put yourself through such a heartache?" she asked, putting her arm over his and looked into his eyes.
"Strange, isn't it? You taught me what is love and how to love and now you are questioning the basis of my love for you. I don't expect anything in return from Mohini. Just stay by me and be happy," he said, pulling her into an embrace as he caressed her head to ease the headache, he knew she had developed.
On one side stood a lover who had faced the wrath of love which made him spurn away its embrace and on the other side stood a lover who wished to be brought to naught if the means was love, and flowing in between them and separating them was a river which had fallen in love with the image of the lover standing by its bank and lost its way. One emotion, three people, many shades. Which shade would destiny choose for them?