Chapter 20 - Loraine

I truly didn’t have any expectations for this day because I was quickly learning that being in Mordecai’s life meant expecting the unexpected, so we both agreed that we would just go into the day without any expectations.

“Good morning,” Geronimo greeted us when we got to the kitchen. I didn’t expect to find Ms Hart-Tedder there.

“Mom? You’re back?” Mordecai said, sounding as surprised as I was.

“I came back when your sister told me what you all had intentions of doing. I needed to know that you wouldn’t face Judith alone. I am so sorry about her. Even I trusted her,” she said angrily.

“It’s ok mom! If it wasn’t for Bev, who knows how long the woman would’ve fooled us for,” he sighed. She turned to me.

“Beverly I-”

“It’s all forgiven and forgotten,” I said.

“I understand, but I still can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for my son, especially after what Nellie and I did to you. You’re a kind hearted person,” she remarked.

“I did it all for Mordecai,” I said without a doubt.

“I understand,” she said with a timid smile.

“So, your physiotherapist is coming today hey?” Geronimo smiled.

“Yeah! I’m not looking forward to that,” Mordecai responded.

“It’ll be ok,” I assured him.

“Is the physiotherapist coming here?” Ms Hart-Tedder asked.

“Yeah! She’ll be here at 12,” I informed.

“So, you have four hours to freak out,” Geronimo chortled.

I glared at him. “That’s not even remotely funny Ger.”

“Sorry,” he said shamefacedly.

“How long will the session be?” Mordecai asked me.

“Two hours at best, but I think for this session, it will depend on what she says,” I replied.

“Ok, I think I can handle that much,” he said.

“You’re worrying too much baby. Like Tracy said, your leg is ok. We just need to find out about your leg spasms on your other leg, and your back. I swear it won’t be bad,” I smiled.

“As long as you’re there,” he said.

I nodded. “Every step of the way.”

Geronimo gave us our breakfast while Mordecai caught his mom up on everything. It turned out that he was still trending, and surprisingly, so was I. Everything had relatively died down, but his job offers are what truly took us by surprise. Everyone seemingly wanted to work with him, but he didn’t seem too keen for some reason.

“What’s wrong baby?” I asked him as we sat in the room. His mom had left and we had an hour before the physiotherapist arrived. His head was on my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair.

It’s his favourite thing in the world.

“How do you always know that something is bothering me?” he asked.

“You get this faraway look on your face when something is bothering you,” I smiled.

“I see I’m not the only observant one,” he noted.

“Seemingly not,” I agreed.

“I’m just thinking about how messed up this industry is you know? When I was facing dark days, everyone was so quick to abandon me, and now that I’ve risen again, everyone wants a piece of my glory. It’s annoying, and quite frankly uninspiring,” he explained.

“Are you saying you don’t want to act or direct again?” I asked.

“I’m honestly not sure,” he admitted.

“Baby, I get that you’re upset, but your emotions won’t keep your career going. No-one is forcing you to make a decision now. Just get through your therapy first, and then we can look at the offers being made,” I suggested. He looked like he was mulling over my words for a while.

“You’re definitely not going anywhere. I don’t know how I survived before you,” he smiled.

“Heaven knows,” I laughed.

“I’ll think about it, and I’ll follow your advice. I definitely just want to get the therapy out of the way first,” he said.

“I know. Everything is going to be ok,” I comforted.

By twelve, Mordecai was certifiably on edge. I went downstairs to fetch Dr Loraine Newman. She’s a friend of mine as well, and she’s highly recommended by everyone. She can be a bit overwhelming at first, but she’s great once you get used to her. She was my first choice, but she was unavailable, until she called me four nights ago, telling me that she was suddenly free.

I hugged her. “Hey Lori.”

“Bev! Oh my heavens. Look at you girl! You’re so beautiful,” she beamed.

“Barely! I’m in sweats for heaven sakes,” I blushed.

“Not just your outer beauty Bev. You’re practically glowing. I hear you’re the talk of the town in any case,” she teased.

“Please don’t mention it,” I whined.

“Why not girl? Own it!” she said.

“I am owning it, just not with everyone bringing it up every two seconds,” I argued.

“Understandable! So, where’s this nervous boyfriend of yours?” she asked.

“Upstairs. I thought we could use the gym,” I replied.

“Oh? You’re joining in?” she asked, looking particularly surprised.

“He won’t cooperate without me there,” I nodded.

“Aaaaw man, that’s so cute. Well, I don’t mind it, especially if it makes my job that much easier. Let’s go so that he can be at ease,” she suggested.

“I highly doubt he’ll be at ease. If anything, seeing you will only make him that much more nervous,” I stated.

And I was right.

The moment Mordecai set his eyes on Lori, they widened, but then panic settled in them, which had me raising an eyebrow, especially since Lori smirked. There was clearly something I was missing here.

“Hello Mordecai,” she purred.

Uhm, sorry what?

“Loraine,” he breathed.

“Long time no see you bastard!” she spat.

Well, that escalated quickly.

“I take it the two of you know each other,” I commented.

“If it’s another apology you’re expecting, then you are very much out of luck,” he told her.

“I couldn’t care less about your apology, trust me. I’m just here to do my job. This is after all my last job,” she replied.

“Last job?” Mordecai and I asked.

“Yep! My journey of life ends here,” she responded.

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Oh Bev, you’ll understand soon enough. Now, let’s get to that physio ok?” she said.

Mordecai and I shared a look of wariness while Loraine set up her stuff. I could see the panic still there in Mordecai’s eyes, and I knew that the story between them was one that I would not particularly enjoy hearing.

“So, tell me what the problem is. I’ve already looked at your x-rays and medical examinations, so technically, your leg should be coming along fine. I see Tracy mentioned spasms. How often do you get those?” she asked. Mordecai couldn’t seem to find the words.

“I don’t hate you Mordecai, and neither do I hold you responsible for what happened that night. It’s almost been seven years since. I’m really over it. I’ve had a great life and I’ve moved on. Now, will you please let me help you?” she requested.

What the hell happened?

“I get the leg spasms when my other leg feels strained,” he said lowly.

“Ok! I need you to come and lie down so that I can start the exercises on your legs,” she requested. He sent me a fleeting look that I could only return an encouraging smile to.

I may not know what the hell is going on here, but Loraine seems to only want to help him.

It was a short hour that went by, and it was surprisingly not that agonizing for Mordecai. Loraine was able to detect the problem almost instantly, and she tried out exercises for his legs. She showed me how to help him, before guaranteeing that he would be fine by the time his birthday came around.

“That was unexpected,” he commented.

“It’s because it was all in the mind. You were always scared of pain, and what you were going through now was muscle trauma. It only took making you realize that you’re ok, for your muscles to respond. The mind is an amazing thing,” Loraine laughed.

“Thank you so much Lori,” I smiled.

“It’s a pleasure Bev. You’re one of my closest friends, and Mordecai used to be my best friend. I know you’re itching to know that story, and I’ll leave it to him to tell it to you. Just promise me that you’ll go easy on him. I’ve forgiven him already, even though he won’t forgive himself. You guys have quite the future ahead of you, and you’re going to need each other,” she returned the smile.

“Why do you speak like you’re going away?” Mordecai asked.

“It’s because I am,” she replied.

“Where are you going to?” we both inquired.

“Paradise,” she said excitedly.

Ok, what the hell is she high on?

“Anyway, are you doing anything for your thirtieth?” she asked Mordecai.

“Uh, Bevis planning a big party,” he replied.

“Ooh! Is it going to be exclusive and all?” she asked.

“Something like that! Would you like to come?” I extended the invitation.

She nodded. “I would love to.”

“Well then, I guess we’ll see you then?” I asked as I hugged her. She had told us that her services weren’t needed now that Mordecai’s case isn’t that severe.

“Yeah! Please take care of each other guys. You make such a wonderful couple and I wouldn’t have this any other way,” she smiled.

“We’ll try,” Mordecai said before hugging her too.

They hugged for a little longer than I was honestly comfortable with.

“Ok! I’ll see you guys then,” she said before leaving.

Silence settled on us since Geronimo was nowhere in sight. I could see the uneasiness in his whole body language, but I wasn’t letting it go. When he realized this, he sighed as headed up to our room, with me right behind him. He sat on the bed and patted the spot beside him. I joined him, but this time I didn’t cuddle into his side like I normally do.

I needed to see his face clearly.

“I’m guessing you don’t want me to beat about the bush or anything like that, so I’ll just get to the point. Loraine and I met in freshman year in high school and we became instant friends. I was the typical asshole jock, and she was the quiet nerd. It was cliché, except I didn’t really want to ruin her. I befriended her in secret and she brought out the nerd in me I guess. We became best friends up until senior year, when our friendship was exposed. I denied everything, and everyone believed me.”

Sounds a lot like the old Mordecai.

“Despite that, when I went to apologize to her, she forgave me. We picked the same college, and I didn’t know that we’d find ourselves in the same situation, where I was the jock, and she was barely anyone. My frat brothers noticed our friendship, but they didn’t expose it. Instead, they threw one of the biggest parties ever thrown, and basically drugged me. In my intoxicated state, Loraine came up to me to check if I was ok, and I forced myself onto her. Common sense dawned on me when she started crying, so I got off of her, but the damage was done,” he ended off on a whisper.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t say anything.

“I couldn’t face her after that, so I apologized a million times over that didn’t involve face to face confrontation, before closing that chapter of my life and moving on. She’d sent me a message telling me that she forgave me because she knew I wasn’t at fault, but that she didn’t think that we could ever be friends again. With her in agreement, it only made it that much easier to move on,” he said as the tears rolled down his face.

I was going through a whirlwind of emotions.

I didn’t know what to feel, and who to feel it for. They had both been victims, and I couldn’t decide on who to feel sorry for. Loraine had been raped by her best friend, while Mordecai had been taken advantage of by stupid frat boys who caused him to do something so horrible.

There was just no picking sides.

“I’m so sorry Mordecai,” I said lowly as I wiped away his tears.

“You don’t think I’m a monster? I know I deserve the title,” he scoffed.

“No, I don’t. What you did to her in high school was wrong, but you were a scared teenage boy, and no-one could blame you for that, just like you can’t be blamed for raping her. You weren’t yourself, and as soon as you realized what you were doing, you stopped,” I argued.

“Shouldn’t the fact that I’d been in love with her count for something? Had I not suppressed my feelings for her, I wouldn’t have fucking done it! At the back of my mind, some sick part of me knew that that was my one and only chance to take what I’d wanted,” he countered, more tears leaving his eyes.

Oh my shattered Hart.

“Oh baby, come here,” I grabbed his head and brought it to my chest.

He clung onto me and I let him cry. It became obvious to me then that he had never truly let his emotions out on this, and that it was the one thing that he had suffered through alone. His crying wasn’t tender or mild – oh no! He was heaving, sniffing and full on crying.

He was finally letting it all out.

“Do you feel better now?” I asked once he’d calmed down.

“I have a headache,” he replied with a raspy voice.

“I’ll get you some water and Advil and then you can take a nap. How does that sound?” I asked.

He nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Ok, I’ll be back,” I said before kissing his forehead and helping him lay back on the bed.

I went downstairs, and again I was thankfully alone in the kitchen. I grabbed the pills and the water and went back up to hand them to him. He was fast asleep soon after, and I opted for a nice hot bath.

With the foam filled up in the bath, together with rose petals, I brought in my wine and the strawberries I found in the fridge. I closed the blinds to make the bathroom dark, and lit some candles. I couldn’t wait for the night.

I needed the stress reliever right then.

For the first time in the longest while, I reflected on my life and the decisions I’d made since accepting Mordecai’s offer to live in. It was the single most, greatest decision I’ve made, but the amount of drama that came with it was definitely unexpected.

I know for a fact, that I am in love with Mordecai, even though I don’t possess the guts to tell him. He’s everything I want in a life partner, despite his flaws and past. There is no perfect person, but I do believe that he’s my perfect person.

The only thing is that I haven’t been open with him about the one thing that could make or break our relationship, and it terrifies me to think that I could lose him over this. It’s not something small, and it definitely can’t be ignored.

It would break me if he left me because of it.

I have tried so hard to truly be happy in the past two to three months or so, and I truly do believe that this is the happiest I’ve ever been, but that thought still lingers at the back of my mind – the possible threat to my happiness.

I know for a fact that I have to address it sooner or later.

I think I’ll go with later because I’m such a coward.

When I’d pruned and the strawberries and wine had finished, I headed out of the water and wrapped a towel around myself. I blew out the candles and when I walked into the room, Mordecai was still fast asleep. I doubted he’d be getting up for the rest of the day, so I let him be.

I got dressed in another pair of sweat pants and one of Mordecai’s t-shirts. I left my hair to dry naturally before deciding to go and make myself a cup of hot chocolate. It had been a while since I’d had one.

The house was silent as I sat in Mordecai’s studio, reading books and planning his party. I hadn’t even realized that I’d dozed off, until a warm feeling spread through me as someone kissed me. I opened my eyes to find Mordecai looking down at me amusedly. His eyes were slightly swollen, but he looked better.

“What time is it?” I asked as I got up and stretched.

“Seven thirty. I thought you left. This was the last place I expected to find you. What time did you come in here?” he asked.

I yawned. “More than twelve hours ago.”

“And what were you doing?” he questioned.

“Reading and planning your party some more,” I informed.

He cupped my cheek. “Gorgeous, you’re going to kill yourself over me.”

“It’s worth it,” I smiled. He leaned down and captured my lips in a searing kiss.

“You’re worth it,” he whispered.

Nothing else was said after that as he helped me up. We headed back up to our room, but not without stopping by the kitchen to grab some teabags for his eyes. I went to brush my teeth while my phone was recharging. He was lying on the bed with the teabags on his eyes.

“What are these meant to do again?” he asked from the room.

“They are going to take away the swelling on your eyes,” I replied after spitting.

“Oh! I feel very feminine right now,” he said.

“Trust you to feel that way,” I giggled as I joined him back on the bed.

“So, what are our plans today?” he smiled as he removed the bags.

“I was thinking we could have dinner with everyone,” I replied.

He raised an eyebrow. “Everyone being?”

“Your mom, my parents, my brothers, their lovers, Zeb, Charlie and Angel,” I replied.

“Are you sure about me meeting your parents?” he asked.

“Yeah! It’s about time. My mom is on the verge of excitement anyway,” I giggled.

He looked unsure. “Really? She’s excited to meet me?”

“You make me really happy Kai. She wants to definitely meet you,” I smiled.

“Well then, I can’t very well disappoint my future mother in law,” he smirked.

“Oh whatever! The fun part comes in exposing the twins,” I smiled evilly.

“I don’t wish to be them, especially with that scary look on your face,” he commented.

“It’s just going to be so much fun watching them get into trouble you know? They love getting me into trouble, and it’s their turn now,” I laughed.

“That’s mean,” he chuckled.

I shrugged. “It’s also life.”

“Ok, that covers dinner, but what about the rest of the day?” he asked.

“I was thinking of going shopping with Angel. She wants to check out some baby store across town,” I said, rolling my eyes at the thought.

He pouted. “You’re abandoning me?”

“You’ve had me for so long already,” I reminded.

“Speaking of which, now that I’m ok, are you going back to work?” he asked.

“Would you prefer that I did?” I asked.

“Obviously not, but I don’t want you to put your career on hold for me. It just gets to me a little because I know that asshole will be there,” he sighed.

I caressed his cheek and he leaned into my touch. “I can handle myself.”

“I know gorgeous. I just don’t want you to handle yourself too well and lose your license,” he smirked.

“So much faith you have in me,” I blushed.

“It’s because I’m sure of what we have. Now, are you going to go back or not?” he asked.

“Can I go back after your birthday?” I bargained.

“No,” he refused.

“No?” I asked in confusion.

“Gorgeous, as much as I love having you here, your life purpose is to save lives and I can’t be selfish with you like that. Besides, I still have to go through those offers, and once I’ve accepted them, my time is also going to minimize,” he pointed out.

“So, I guess our honeymoon phase is over huh?” I said, not bothering to hide my sadness.

“Unfortunately, but I still owe you that date,” he reminded.

“And I look forward to it. Are you going to go through the offers while I’m out?” I asked.

“I might as well. We’ll discuss the ones I put aside for consideration when you come back. You’ll text me details about dinner,” he smiled.

“You’re amazing,” I blushed a little.

“Only because of you gorgeous,” he said before kissing me.

He wanted to take a joint shower, but I wouldn’t have it because it would be different this time to that other time we showered together. I had to call my mom anyway, so I let him go first while I made the call.

“Darling! What a lovely surprise! I’ve been waiting for your call. How is everything?” she asked as soon as she answered the phone.

“All is going well so far mom. I was just calling to find out if we could all have dinner at the house tonight. I think it’s time you met Mordecai and Angel,” I replied.

“Oh honey, I would love to! I will arrange everything. Who is ‘all’ exactly?” she asked.

“Mordecai, Angel, her fiancé and Mordecai’s best friend Charlie, Mordecai’s other best friend Geronimo, his brother Zeb, who might bring Kim with him if their date went well, Karen, Jackson and Jacob and their respective others,” I smirked at the last part.

“Well, that sou- hold on one minute young lady! Respective others?” she asked.

“Have fun busting them! I love you,” I giggled before hanging up the phone.

They are so in for it.

“You are seriously so mean,” Mordecai chuckled behind me as he wrapped his arms around me. Water droplets landed on me.

“Kai,” I whined.

“What? It’s not like you’re not going to take a shower anyway. I’m just giving you a head start,” he laughed.

“I hate you!” I mumbled as I turned to face him.

I shouldn’t have.

The towel was hanging low on his hips, and his defined body was glistened with little droplets of water. I immediately had racy thoughts and the bastard knew it. He flexed a little and I had to keep from passing out altogether.

“Still hate me?” he asked, his tone deep and full of lust.

“Never,” I replied, my own voice straying from normality to dark paths.

“I want you Beverly,” he admitted.

“I want you too Mordecai,” I said before biting my lip. He smirked and leaned in to kiss me, but I ducked in time.

“Just not right now,” I laughing as I ran to the bathroom.

“Fucking tease!” he shouted after me, the frustration clear in his voice.

Well too bad.

Blue balls shall be his new best friend!