Chapter 16 – Am I Dying?

I was hiding.

As soon as Angel revealed the truth, I couldn’t take the silence and awkwardness that settled in the room, so I ran upstairs and hid in my closet. I was once again taken back to my past. I’d harmed my sister – the one person who loved me more than life itself. I’d harmed her and then I cut her out of my life.

I’m a horrible person.

“You’re not a horrible person,” she said from the door of the closet.

Did I say that out loud?

“It’s written on your face,” she smiled.

I scowled. “How are you doing that?”

She walked into the closet and slowly sat on the floor, opposite me. “I know you like the back of my fucking hand Bev. It may be eleven years since we last saw each other, but you’ll always be my baby sister.”

I couldn’t say anything to that.

“Mordecai sent me here. He told me that you told him everything. You must really care about him to let him in that far,” she commented.

I looked down. “I’m in love with him.”

“I know. I can see it on both your faces. Does he know how you feel?” she asked.

“No! I wouldn’t know where to begin to tell him how I feel,” I admitted.

“Have you tried the simple way?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes at her. “You know what I mean!”

“No shit! It’s just amazing seeing you blush like this,” she laughed a little.

“You’re horrible,” I mumbled.

“I’ve missed you so much Bev,” she said after a while.

“Where did you go?” I asked. She left Wisconsin a year before I did.

“Everywhere really. Dad paid for anything and everything I wanted to do,” she replied. Unlike me, she stayed in touch with our father, but cut ties with our mother. She blamed our mother for their split.

Our mother cheated on our father.

“How is he?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t know. I cut ties with him about six years back. You know he’s always been an asshole, and when he remarried, I just let go,” she replied.

“He got remarried?” I asked wide-eyed.

She rolled her eyes. “To a blue eyed bimbo bitch about a year or two older than you who probably couldn’t count to fucking five.”

“That’s, disturbing,” I said with a little laugh, which she joined in on.

“How’s Ellen?” she asked.

“You mean you don’t know?” I asked in shock.

“Know what?” she asked.

“Ellen’s been gone for almost a year now. In fact, I think her death anniversary is in two week’s time,” I informed at the realization.

“Oh shit! What’d she die of?” she asked.

“Cancer,” I sighed.

“May her soul rest in peace,” she said sincerely.

“We’re pretty fucked up huh?” I smiled.

“You more than me,” she smirked.

“Hey!” I giggled.

“I don’t hate you, you know. I’ve tried looking for you, but I didn’t know what I would fucking say to you. You shut me out after the incident, even after I tried to convince you that I don’t hate you,” she said, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. I moved and sat next to her.

“When they told me that you couldn’t have kids, I couldn’t have hated myself more than I did at that moment. You’d always talked about having your own family, and to find out I fucked that up for you just made me feel like the worst person alive, so I thought I should exile myself from your life before you did,” I explained.

“I never once blamed you. If anything, I blamed Ellen and dad. They were behind your behaviour, and it was because of them that you acted out the way you did that day. I’m just sorry that you had to go through that,” she said as she reached out to hold my hand, this time her tears leaving her eyes.

“Do you know what you’re having?” I asked, wiping away her tears.

“Charlie doesn’t want to know the sexes yet, but we know we’re having twins,” she said happily.

“I’m so happy for you Angel,” I told her honestly.

“I’m happy for you too. I’ve always wanted you to be as happy as I can see you are,” she smiled.

“It took a while, but Mordecai is definitely a big part of my happiness right now,” I smiled.

“And Charlie is a big part of mine,” she giggled.

“Speaking of which – how on earth did that happen? His best friends could barely believe it when he told them he was engaged,” I said amusedly.

“With good reason! Before Charlie met me, he was a fucking mess! He was a playboy who didn’t have his head screwed on right. His family company was doomed to fail with the way he was going. We sort of had a one night stand that just refused to stay a one night stand. After about the fourth time, I realized that I might actually be falling for him, so I made him meet me for lunch instead of dinner. He told me that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, so we ended things there and then. Three weeks later, I woke up feeling sick. I went to the hospital and I found out I was pregnant. My best friend called him from the hospital, but didn’t tell him what I was there for. I have never seen anyone look as scared as he did when he ran into the hospital. It turns out that when he heard I was in hospital, everything, including his feelings for me, fell into place. When he found out that I was pregnant, he was elated. On the way to the hospital, he stopped by a jewellery store and picked up an engagement ring. He proposed there and then and I accepted. When I asked him why he didn’t come straight to the hospital, he told me that had I been in a coma, he was going to entice me with the idea of being married to him and then propose when I come out of the coma,” she finished off with a giggle as she wiped away her tears.

It’s official.

Charlie Maxwell is the sweetest guy I know.

“Aaaaw, he’s so adorable!” I gushed as I wiped away my own tears.

“I know! That’s why I couldn’t even say no. I love him so fucking much Bev,” she smiled.

I hugged her. “I can tell! I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy that you’re happy too sis. Now, please tell me we’ll never be apart from each other’s lives again,” she pleaded.

“I promise.”

“Fantastic! Now, please be a darling and help me up. Whatever Geronimo has cooked has been getting to me. I just suffered for the love of our broken relationship,” she huffed.

“Still love food I see,” I laughed.

“Like you’re any better bitch,” she smirked knowingly.

“Shut up!” I mumbled as I helped her up.

“Still can’t cook to save your arse?” she teased.

I mock glared at her. “I will push you down the stairs.”

“Pssh! As if!” she scoffed as we headed down the stairs.

I scowled. “I could do it if I wanted to.”

“Exactly, except you would never want to. You love me too much,” she smirked.

“Charlie, ship your fiancée back to wherever she came from,” I told him when we walked into the lounge.

“Only if I get to go with her,” he said sweetly.

“Two pain in the asses gone? I think I like the sound of that,” I joked, making the guys laugh.

“How? How could you set that up for her?” Angel asked him.

“I’d follow you to the ends of the world babe,” he winked. She blushed while I laughed.

“I take it everything is hunky dory?” Mordecai asked.

We all turned to him. “Hunky dory?”

“You know? Ok?” he asked.

“We know what it means Mordecai. We’re confused as to why you would use such a phrase,” Zebedee spoke on our behalf.

“What’s wrong with it?” Mordecai asked in confusion.

“You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Everything’s fine,” I confrirmed.

“Fantastic! Can we eat now?” Geronimo asked.

I nodded. “Yes we can.”

“Said Obama,” Charlie and Mordecai said simultaneously.

“Idiots!” Angel and I said.

We all moved off to the dining room, where Geronimo had really outdone himself with the setting of the table. He had practically taken us to India with the beautiful setting. We all sat down, with me sitting next to Mordecai, and Angel next to Charlie.

“So Angel, how are you and Bev sisters?” Geronimo asked.

“Our parents fucked each other like they had no sense and we’re the results,” Angel replied, making the guys choke, while Nellie smirked, probably thinking the same thing I was.

Still the same old crude Angel.

“Who says such a thing?” Zebedee asked once he’d stop choking.

“My sister,” I laughed.

“I didn’t know you were, that uhm, direct,” Charlie told her nervously.

“It’s been a pain in the ass being proper with you. I’m honestly not that kind of person. Seeing my sister again reminded me of who I used to be – who I used to love being. This whole proper shit because I’m some esteemed lawyer makes me seem like I have a stick stuck up my arse constantly. I can’t take it!” Angel told him honestly. I could see the fear in her eyes as she watched for Charlie’s reaction.

“I think I just fell in love all over again,” Charlie smirked before kissing her.

“Aaaaw,” Nellie and I cooed.

Mordecai rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

“Don’t be jelly because you’re not getting any,” I scolded.

“Oh gorgeous, I could if I wanted to,” he smirked.

“Cocky little thing!” I commented while everyone else watched us amusedly.

“I talk the talk and walk the walk gorgeous. Just give me the word,” he winked.

I was actually getting turned on by this.

“So Nellie, how has life been since I last saw you?” Angel asked, diverting the attention away from us.

“It’s been one hell of a rollercoaster, but being found by my brother was definitely the greatest thing to happen to me,” Nellie smiled.

“Your brother?” Charlie asked.

I looked to Mordecai. “You didn’t tell him? You didn’t tell your own best friend?”

“Tell me what?” Charlie scowled.

“It wasn’t my decision to make,” Mordecai defended.

Nellie bit her lip. “It’s true! I asked him to keep it from absolutely everyone. Besides mom and Zeb, you, Ger, Jackson, Fernie and Jacob are the only other people who know.”

“My brothers and Fernando knew this entire time?” I asked in shock.

“I’m sorry Bev. I told Jackson and Jacob just sort of found out. You know he can’t keep anything from Fernie to save his life. I begged them not to say anything,” Nellie replied.

That explains the looks they were giving each other at my apartment.

“KNOW WHAT FOR HEAVEN SAKES?” Charlie shouted.

“Down Tarzan! We’re inside a house,” Geronimo teased, making us laugh while Charlie scowled.

“That Nellie is my sister and not my helper,” Mordecai informed him.

Charlie’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding!”

“We’re half siblings. Same mom, different dad,” Mordecai informed.

“Well I’ll be damned! I always thought your relationship was very weird for a boss and employee, but I didn’t want to say anything about it. That’s why I was so shocked to find out you and Bev are so close. I always thought it was you and Nell,” Charlie chuckled.

“Eeuw!” the said siblings said simultaneously.

“Imagine that travesty,” Zebedee scoffed.

“I’m an awesome person! Kai would be the one who wouldn’t deserve to be with me,” Nellie smirked.

Mordecai rolled his eyes. “You keep telling yourself that little one.”

“I’m twenty seven for heaven sakes! I’m not little!” Nellie complained.

“That’s highly up for debate,” Zebedee and Mordecai chuckled.

“You guys are so mean,” I giggled.

Zebedee shrugged with a smirk. “She’s the little one.”

“Speaking of ages, Hart, you’re turning thirty soon,” Charlie smirked.

“What? When?” I scowled.

“Seriously? The two of you are dating but you don’t know when his birthday is?” Nellie asked.

I shrugged. “Don’t judge me! We just spoke about everything else but birthdays.”

“And you know I hate celebrating my birthday,” Mordecai added.

I’d have to ask him why later.

“But this is the big thirty!” Nellie whined.

“And it’s not such a big deal for guys as it is for women,” Mordecai argued.

It was the twins all over again.

“So what? We’re celebrating it. When is it?” I asked.

“Exactly two weeks from now,” Zebedee was the one to reply. Mordecai glared at him for giving me the answer.

“That’s perfect! I can plan everything around that,” I said more to myself.

“Everything being?” Mordecai asked.

“Your comeback into society,” I smiled.

“Oh yeah! How’s that coming along?” Nellie asked me.

“I won’t know until my family gives me feedback,” I replied.

“Your family?” Angel asked.

“I’ll tell you about them later,” I told her. She nodded.

“Wait, so you got your family involved in this? Why?” Geronimo asked.

“My brothers and dad all have connections to some vital information I need,” I replied.

“I don’t understand,” Mordecai admitted.

“I can’t tell you without revealing my surprise,” I argued. Nellie looked like she was piecing together what I was planning.

And it looked like she approved.

“Well, I’d like to be a part of the planning committee for Mordecai’s party,” Angel smiled.

“Most definitely! This is our bonding project!” Nellie said excitedly, and I couldn’t agree more.

“Please don’t make me regret this,” Mordecai sighed.

“I promise we won’t overwhelm you or make it such a big deal,” I promised as I held his hand. We were all more or less done eating.

“So Charlie, are you back for good now?” Geronimo asked him.

“I am since my lovely fiancée has agreed to move back to the States,” Charlie smiled.

“You were living in London?” I asked Angel.

“Yeah! While I did move here a year ago and get a place and all, I’ve been in London for the past six months. I’d fallen in love with the place because I just felt like this place didn’t have anything for me anymore, but then I met Charlie. Now that I have a good reason to stay, I’m taking it,” she smiled lovingly at Charlie.

They are too adorable.

“What about your job?” Nellie asked her.

“She’s actually my lawyer now, so she can work from home,” Charlie informed us.

“Must be nice,” Zebedee chuckled.

“It is,” the lovers nodded with smiles.

“Well, the two of you look happy and in love, and I take back my words,” Mordecai said, looking directly at Charlie.

“Does that mean you accept?” Charlie asked.

“If you would still have me,” Mordecai smiled.

“Of course!” Charlie chuckled.

“On that note, sis, would you do me the honour of being my Maid of Honour?” Angel asked me.

My eyebrows shot to my hairline. “Me?”

“No! My other sister from India who’s hiding in that corner,” she said sarcastically.

“Fuck you! I’d love to!” I beamed.

“That sounded so wrong,” Mordecai chuckled, making everyone laugh.

“You know what I mean,” I blushed.

Mordecai winked. “I think we get the gist of your dirty mind gorgeous.”

I glared at him. “I hate you.”

“You wish you did,” he smirked.

“Before their sexual tension kicks up again, when is the wedding?” Nellie asked.

“We’ve decided on a year from now. That way, I can give birth and we’ll have some time with our baby before the madness,” Angel smiled.

“Sounds reasonable enough! Kai and Bev might beat you to the altar though,” Geronimo teased.

“Shut up!” Mordecai and I responded while they laughed.

“Seriously though – you do realize that you’re a hypocrite right?” Charlie asked his best friend.

“I plead the fifth,” Mordecai replied slyly.

“Plead away all you want brother. You know he’s got a point,” Zebedee chuckled.

“I’m not having this conversation,” Mordecai refused.

I didn’t want it to be entertained either.

“Kai, when is your physiotherapist coming in?” Geronimo asked, thankfully changing subjects.

“Bev should know,” Mordecai replied.

“I’ve yet to get any word back, but my dad said it might be on Monday,” I replied. It was Friday night and he was taking his cast off on Sunday.

“Are you psyched for it?” Nellie asked her brother.

“No! I’m actually terrified, but knowing Bev will be there makes things better,” he smiled. I couldn’t help but blush.

“Aren’t you just a sap!” Zebedee smirked.

Mordecai shrugged. “Whatever.”

The rest of the dinner went by smoothly with more jokes and conversations. At the end, Angel and Charlie left together, while Nellie also left because she had an early meeting the next morning. Zeb and Ger said they would clean up. I think they picked up on the same thing I’d picked up on.

Mordecai was strangely tired.

“Are you ok?” I asked him quietly when he put his hand to his chest. We were in our room and he’d just lain down.

“I don’t know. My chest is burning,” he murmured as he closed his eyes.

“How long has this been going on for Mordecai?” I asked, trying not to sound like I was scolding him.

“Since this morning, and before you ask, I didn’t tell you because you were upset today,” he replied.

“I understand that you were trying to spare my already fragile feelings, but you’d break me if I lost you,” I ended with a whisper. His eyes shot open and he looked towards me.

“What?” he asked.

“I want you to tell me if you’re in pain Mordecai. I can’t lose you – not when I’m this far gone with you,” I said. He sat up and I realized I was crying when he reached out to wipe away my tears.

“You’re the one person I can’t even bother lying to about my health. I’m in pain Bev. I don’t know where the pain came from, but it just reappeared this morning,” he informws.

“Is it similar to the one you had before the accident?” I asked.

“Yeah! Will you, will you help me?” he asked, sounding extremely vulnerable.

“Ok,” I whispered.

I checked him out before calling my dad and asking for advice. When I’d been given instructions, I carried them out before putting him to sleep. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t sleep with him for that night. I needed to let him have his space, but I wasn’t leaving the room either. I went and grabbed a blanket and set myself up on the couch.

I checked up on him every two hours, and every time that I did, his temperature was rising. By the time it was seven the next morning, he was drenched in his own sweat, and he wasn’t finding any peace in his sleep. He was tossing and turning endlessly.

“Hello sweetheart. Your father isn’t here right now. What’s wrong?” my mom asked as she answered the phone.

“Uhm, Mordecai has gotten worse overnight and I wanted to know what to do in this situation,” I informed her.

“What do you mean by gotten worse?” she asked. Funny enough, even though she’s a socialite now, she took up nursing back in the day, but she never had a career in it.

“He’s sweating and he’s pretty restless,” I informed.

“Darling, it’s not his heart if that’s what you’re worried about. He just has a fever,” she laughed a little.

Relief hit me like a ton of bricks.

A fever hadn’t really crossed my mind because of his health complications. I really thought it had to do with his heart, and that it couldn’t be something as trivial as a fever. I walked back to him and checked him for all signs of a fever and found that my mom was right.

“Thanks mom,” I said to her.

“Anytime sweetheart. Do call later to tell me how he is,” she requested.

“Will do! I love you,” I told her.

“I love you too darling,” she said before I hung up.

I headed downstairs and the house was surprisingly quiet. It allowed me to gather up everything that I needed without being questioned. I would, however, have to put in an order with Geronimo for some chicken soup.

I went back upstairs to find Mordecai coughing violently. I took the cool cloth and placed it on his forehead, before opening up the buttons of his pyjama top to rub some vapour rub onto his chest. The best I could do for food was crackers and water, which he seemed to appreciate nonetheless. He didn’t even finish the crackers before I gave him some medication.

“Am I dying?” he croaked out.

“Not by a long shot! You just have a fever,” I smiled, moving his hair from his face.

“Thank God! I actually have a reason to live and I don’t want to leave her just as yet,” he said with a drowsy smile as his eyes shut closed.

I wouldn’t let him leave me either.