Chapter 524 Chapter 524: I Knew I Deserve It
They were incredibly close, close enough to hear each other’s heartbeats and to feel their breaths intertwined. For a moment, their hearts raced, and memories of their passionate love flooded their minds.
The bathroom was filled with a quiet intimacy, with only the occasional sounds of water and Estelle’s movements breaking the silence. Cristofer had so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if this was the right moment. In fact, he wasn’t sure when the right moment would come, but at this instant, he no longer wanted to suppress his true feelings. The lingering scent of jasmine on Estelle’s body seemed to be breaking down the walls around his heart.
“Why?” he asked Estelle in a hoarse voice.
“What?” Estelle replied, slowing down her movements. Then she realized what he was referring to and felt relieved. This moment has finally arrived, she thought. ‘Since the incident six months ago, I’ve been trying to reach out to you, Cristofer, but I failed repeatedly. As time passed, my desire to explain everything to you faded and all I wanted was a chance to see you again.’
Instinctively, Estelle withdrew her hand from Cristofer's body and took a step back. However, Cristofer, sensing her thoughts, seized her wrist and pulled her back to his side, preventing her escape. Then he asked the questions that had been weighing on his heart for so long, “Why are you treating me so kind right now? Have you forgotten how terrible I used to be? Don’t you hate me?”
Cristofer's series of questions left Estelle stunned, and for a moment, she stared at him in a daze, unsure of how to respond.
“You must have hated me deeply back then,” Cristofer said calmly, his eyes slightly bloodshot. “Estelle, since you despised me so much, why didn’t you just let me die? I would have preferred to die at that time than to endure this pain now.”
Cristofer's thoughts raced. ‘Estelle, I carried the guilt of hurting you, and when you left me, I felt a mixture of resentment and heartache, even though I knew I deserved it. And just as I finally decided to move on, you returned to me and treated me well.’
‘You always wanted to leave me, didn’t you? Didn’t you say you never wanted to see me again? So why did you return? Why did you show concern for me? Why did you tug at my heartstrings every now and then?’ Cristofer pondered.
Estelle stood before him, allowing him to hold her wrist, her lips growing pale. She wanted to speak but struggled to find the right words. “I…”
“Well, you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. You can leave now,” Cristofer interrupted her before she could say anything more. He feared that her words might crush his hopes once again.
While he was in prison, he held onto the belief that Estelle would eventually reveal why she framed him for Victor’s sake. But now that she had explained, he wasn’t sure if he could trust her.
“I’m sorry,” Estelle said, her eyes red and teary. “I never meant to hurt you. But I couldn’t let you die, so I framed you in that situation.”
Cristofer released her wrist, shaking his head slightly. “If you had said that earlier, I might have believed you. But now, Estelle, I’m not sure if I can trust you,” he murmured. After a brief pause, he added, “You once said you didn’t want to see me anymore, that you’d rather die alone than with me. Since you don’t want to be around me, you’re free to leave.”
Seeing that Cristofer doubted her, Estelle decided to explain to him another time. She held back her tears and said, “Let’s not dwell on this now. Let me help you clean up. Staying in the bathroom too long could make you catch a cold.”
However, Cristofer remained stubborn and took the towel from Estelle’s hand, insisting on addressing their issues. He said, “No! I want to talk about this and clarify everything between us. Since you no longer love me, please leave and never appear before me again.” Simultaneously, he thought to himself, ‘Estelle, if you keep showing up in front of me every day, I might soften eventually. That’s not what I want. I’d rather sever all ties with you to avoid getting hurt by you again.’
“You still don’t trust me,” she said, her voice filled with sorrow. ‘Cristofer, you used to promise me eternal love. Now you’re telling me you never want to see me again... How could you be so harsh?’
Without making eye contact, Cristofer said in a flat, bleak tone, saying, “Just leave me be. I’m begging you.”
He rarely addressed her in such a manner. Hearing the despair and gloom in his voice, Estelle couldn’t help but feel heartache. She suddenly longed for the confident and proud Cristofer he once was and couldn’t shake the self-blame she felt, knowing her actions had led to his current state.
“Okay. I promise I’ll leave once you’re fully recovered,” she agreed, although she only said it to prevent Cristofer from pushing her away at that moment.
Cristofer remained silent upon hearing Estelle’s promise. He closed his eyes once more, folded his hands gently in front of his abdomen, and felt an overwhelming sense of loss enveloping him.
Estelle clenched her lower lip tightly, determined to stay by his side no matter how harshly he might try to drive her away. She retrieved the towel from Cristofer's hand and continued to wash his body.
“I’m going to wash your hair now. Tilt your head back slightly and rest it against the chair’s backrest so the water doesn’t get into your eyes.”
After a moment of quiet, Cristofer followed her instructions, still wearing a stoic expression. He repeated to himself in his mind that he couldn’t allow himself to become soft-hearted.
Estelle turned on the water, carefully adjusted the water flow, and gently wetted Cristofer's hair with warm water. Then she applied some shampoo, creating a foamy lather as she massaged it into his hair. His hair was thick and in excellent condition, and her hands itched a little as she touched it. After thoroughly shampooing his hair, she rinsed away the foam with warm water.
Feeling Estelle’s carefulness, Cristofer let out a faint sigh. He slowly tilted his head back, subtly making it easier for her to rinse out the foam. Estelle was so focused on her task that she didn’t notice his cooperative movement.
With the showerhead in one hand, Estelle supported the back of Cristofer's neck and spoke softly, “Cristofer, close your eyes to prevent water from getting into them.”