Chapter 16 :- His Fears.

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"Khwaab." Hearing her name being called out, she looked up with her tired eyes to see Rahul standing there with a small smile.

"Rahul, you here? Has Sia also came?" She said shifting and making a place for him on the metallic bench she was sitting.

"No, she couldn't. Let's go in. Uncle informed me you are in the garden from past three hours. It's quite hot." Rahul suggested seeing her red face under the scorching heat of the sun, burning brightly on the head considering it's half past noon.

Khwaab checked her watch and then realized it's long since she's here, deep into her thoughts.

"I would like to stay longer. You can go if you want to." She stated simply making him sigh.

He sat beside her and offered her water which she accepted gladly. "I'm sorry." He apologised staring at his entwined fingers.

"Why?" She asked, confused as she was the one who should apologize for snapping at him the other day when he was just being a good friend, which she is definitely not, to him.

"I shouldn't have said those words about Armaan when I didn't know the other side of the story." Pursing his lips he elaborated, feeling really guilty after knowing the latter's condition from the Talwar's.

"It's okay Rahul. I'm sorry too. You were just being a good friend. I wish I could be the same good friend to Armaan as well." She alleged sadly, knowing how he has turned the same aloof Armaan he was, before becoming her friend.

After he apprised about his Delhi visit, he closed his eyes and didn't utter a single word. She waited for an hour or so only to realise he has actually fallen asleep and she had to go out when the nurse insisted her.

"You are the best friend he could've ever wished for Khwaab. And that is the reason even after years his parents think only you can make him confess his reason. It's not the time to execrate yourself for not being with him in these past days but to become his solid support just the way he needs." Rahul rendered her the needed inducement and she realised he was right.

The time she would waste in dwelling over the past should be wisely used to make his future better and for that she has to come out of her contrition otherwise the guilt of not being able to do anything for her best friend, even being capable, will eat her alive.

"Rahul, I tried asking him but he has shut himself from everyone. All I could see was his scared soul. The similar fear floated in his eyes, which I'd seen when he was pressurized to leave his music. He is afraid, of what I don't know but I want to know before it's late."

"You mean scared from undergoing the surgery? Is he scared from this hospital set-up and all?" He enquired further with the intention to help her.

"No, infact he prefers injectables over oral tablets. It's something else. I'm not able to point it out. And I'm clueless, with whom I should share this. He's just not ready to talk." Khwaab tugged her hair, frustrated as she wasn't getting the solution for the first time when things concerned Armaan.

"You've to make him talk then. Anyhow. Because I just got to know, the doctors have warned the Malik family of worse consequences if there is more delay in the surgery, after seeing his latest scans." Rahul shared the information he had which was enough to give her heebie-jeebies.

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Khwaab entered his room to see him lying straight, staring at the ceiling. For somebody else he was looking absolutely normal but she knew otherwise. How preoccupied he was with something. The 'something' she wanted to know.

"Do you know what the doctors are saying and how are your parents dealing with everything? Do you even realize how painful it is for them to witness everything? You aren't my best friend who loved his parents so much. Why are you doing so?" Not able to control her frustration anymore Khwaab lambasted him for his careless attitude towards his loved ones.

Seeing him acting frigid towards her she sighed heavily.

"So you've decided you won't say anything? Fine, so what do you want me to do or say that will make you share your reason." Taking a leap of forbearance from her fortitude she gulped down her anger to make him talk.

"Tell me what made you leave? Was it just what grandma said or is there something more into the story that I'm unaware of?" Finally his silence broke and he asked what she expected and prepared herself for.

"So you are negotiating?" She asked crossing her arms and he simply shrugged.

"I would trade anything to make you speak Khwaab. And if it means to tell you what I never intended to, I'll do it. So deal?" He murmured without further ado.

"So if I tell you everything, why I left, what all happened, then will you share what's going on in there?" Khwaab pointed towards his heart and he bobbed his head without making any eye contact with her.

"But this deal doesn't mean I'll say yes for the surgery. I'll just share the reason." He said making sure that she won't be able to force him for anything knowing what power she holds on him even after years.

"Okay."

"Fine, go ahead. I'm listening." Armaan stared at her making her feel anxious about the whole deal.

"I want you to share first because that is the most important thing at the moment. What is there that is scaring you so much?" And now he was under the perusal.

"Armaan... I'm there. Just let it out." She urged softly sitting close to him and relaying that she will be there, always.

"I don't want to live with a dead soul." Armaan's words were enough to confirm Khwaab's hunch about his reason. Her hold on his hands tightened as she felt his body shivering.

"You saw my parents, my friends suffering but let me tell you Khwaab, I can feel them. I'm not happy to put them in such situation either but all I'm trying is, to protect them from the pain they'll go through seeing me post my surgery." His voice depicted how vulnerable he was with everything happening.

"Armaan doctors are really hopeful. They had told your family that the tumour is resectable in your case and consequences won't be hard if you don't delay more." She pressed, breaking down bit by bit seeing him so powerless.

"And do you know how will be my life post surgery. Maybe I'll be left with no sight, nothing just darkness. I may not be able to speak properly or maybe I would just be a burden because of paralysis. Forget about playing, I won't be able to hold the guitar. And if my stars are aligned then maybe I'll have to suffer everything altogether. Now you tell me how will they feel seeing me like a living corpse because my soul will be dead." Staring squarely at her with his moist eyes he canvassed to which she had no answer.

Finding her dumbstruck he inhaled a sharp breathe and continued, "The moment you left, the only thing that kept me sane was music. Trust me Khwaab, I lived with music and I lived for music. I cannot imagine my life without it, without you and become just a burden on them. I just want to live these last days of my life peacefully but nobody understands. And I'm tired, I'm tired making everyone understand that I don't want to undergo this surgery. I don't want to." Sheathing his melancholic face in his palms he shook his head to convey his denial.

"Armaan all these complications aren't definite. Just because of all these maybe's you can't deny for something they are sure of. There are high chances that the surgery will be successful. See on the brighter side. Nothing will go wrong, trust me. You can't lose hope." She mumbled embracing his broken self into her arms.

"How can I believe in you? Which hope you are talking about? All these years I'd lived with the hope to see you but did you come to me? Your hope proved wrong everytime when I searched for you crazily. And don't pretend that you care. Because if you care so much then you wouldn't have left me in the first place." Jerking away her arms he lashed out at her leaving her stunned with his sudden change of emotions.

"Armaan, its not like that." She whispered sacredly.

"Really? Then tell me what happened that seemed more important to you than contacting me. One message, one call and I would've come. Trust me, leaving everything, I would've come." He solicited leaving her teary eyed.